Back to Life – A Comedy Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One character in a white coat runs into another wearing the same kind of coat and carrying a file.
One – You all right?
Two – Yeah…
One – You look like you’ve just seen a dead man.
Two – A dead man? More like the opposite…
One – And what’s the opposite of a dead man?
Two – In this case… a resurrection.
One – You saw one of your former patients climb out of a drawer in the morgue?
Two – Almost… The patient in room 301 has just woken up.
One – Room 301?
Two – A guy who’s been here for at least ten years. Don’t you remember?
One – I didn’t even know there was a room 301. I thought this hospital only had 300 rooms.
Two – He was admitted after an accident. And he never came out of his coma.
One – Right… So?
Two – Well, he’s just woken up.
One – Oh, shit…
Two – Yeah, I know… It should be good news, but…
One – Yeah…
Pause.
Two – Ten years ago, he left a world where you could leave home without having to fill in a form, go for a drink with friends, see a film at the cinema… or just wander along the boulevards. And all that without a mask.
One – Yeah… Waking up is going to be a shock. When you tell him that none of that exists any more…
Two – No more cafés, no more restaurants, no more cinemas, no more theatres…
One – Maybe it’s better not to tell him anything…
Two – He’ll find out sooner or later.
One – Yeah…
Two – As long as he’s in hospital, he’ll be fine…
One – But when he gets out into the street…
Two – He’s in for a shock.
One – What did he do for a living?
The other glances at the file, then looks back at his colleague with a dramatic expression.
Two – He worked in the performing arts…
One – Oh, shit… And now his job doesn’t even exist any more…
Two – Maybe I’d better unplug him, then?
One – You just told me he’d woken up!
Two – He’s still on a ventilator…
Pause.
One – I don’t know… Listen to your conscience…
Two – Right.
Pause.
One – No, obviously I was joking.
Two – Of course… So was I…
They both look as though they are not entirely sure how much they are joking.
One – Anyway… I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.
He gives his colleague a pat on the back and walks away. The other remains there, looking perplexed.
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A sketch from the collection Lockdown Shorts
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net