Bad Taste – A Comedy Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One character, dressed in clashing, garish colours, appears before another wearing a white coat.
One – Good morning, Doctor.
Two – So, what brings you in today?
One – Well, Doctor, I’ve lost my sense of taste.
The other glances at her clothes.
Two – Your sense of smell too?
One – Er, no… Just my sense of taste. But that’s bad enough.
Two – I can imagine…
One – Given my job, I’d say it’s pretty serious.
Two – Do you work in a restaurant, perhaps? Or are you a food critic?
One – Not at all… I’m a fashion designer.
Two – Right… (He holds out a box.)Would you like a mint?
The other looks surprised.
One – Why not?
She takes a mint, puts it in her mouth and starts chewing it.
Two – I always keep some on my desk. For the children, you know. It helps put them at ease…
One – Of course…
Two – It’s mint-flavoured.
One – Yes, I can tell…
Two – So you can taste the mint?
One – Yes. Why?
Two – You said you’d lost your sense of taste…
One – Oh, yes… But no! That’s not what I meant! I didn’t explain myself properly… When I said taste, I meant… good taste.
Two – That’s what I thought…
One – This morning, for example, I opened my wardrobe and… well, look what I ended up wearing.
Two – I see…
One – Would you say this is in good taste?
Two – No, not really…
One – Exactly. That’s what I was saying: I’ve completely lost my sense of taste.
Two – Clearly.
One – Can you prescribe something for me, Doctor?
Two – If it were a symptom of an infectious disease, perhaps, but in this case…
One – You can’t leave me like this!
Two – Unless it’s a new virus we haven’t identified yet.
One – The bad taste virus?
Two – And… any idea where you might have caught it?
One – I don’t know… I was in England not long ago…
Two – Well, we’ll start by putting you in quarantine for two weeks, just in case.
One – Quarantine?
Two – We can’t let you go out looking like that!
One – Why not?
Two – Because you might accidentally start a trend! Do you really want to see everyone in the street dressed like that? And know that you were responsible for the disaster?
One – No, of course not…
Two – Then stay at home for a couple of weeks.
One – All right, Doctor…
Two – And then come back and see me. (He gives her clothes one last look.)We’ll see if it’s any better.
One – All right, Doctor. Thank you, Doctor…
The character leaves. The other gets ready to leave as well and sighs.
Two – Honestly, I’ve seen it all… Thank goodness that was my last appointment… I just hope it isn’t too contagious…
He leaves for a moment and returns without his white coat. He is wearing the same hideously tasteless outfit as the other character.
All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.
To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.
A sketch from the collection Lockdown Shorts
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net