Missed Connection – A Comedy Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Two characters. Two dials a number on their mobile phone. One takes out their phone, which has started ringing, and answers.
One – Hello…
Two – Hi, this is Jean-Paul Ramirez.
One – Sorry? Jean-Paul who?
Two – Ramirez. We were in the same class in our final year of high school.
Pause.
One – Is this a joke?
Two – Not at all. Don’t you remember me?
One – No… Jean-Paul Ramirez?
Two – I found your name and photo on Old Friends…
One – Old Friends?
Two – Yes, you know, that website where…
One – Yes, yes, I know… Old Friends… But we weren’t friends, were we? I don’t even remember your name…
Two – Don’t worry, I didn’t remember yours either.
One – Right… So… why are you calling me? I mean… if we hardly knew each other?
Two – I don’t know… I’ve been stuck out in the country for six months because of the lockdown. I thought I might use the time to reconnect with people I’d lost touch with…
One – Yeah… But to reconnect, don’t you have to have had some kind of connection in the first place?
Two – We were in the same class! Even if we weren’t really friends, we must have spoken once or twice.
One – Mmm… I suppose so… Jean-Pierre Martinez?
Two – Jean-Paul Ramirez.
One – No, honestly, it doesn’t ring a bell at all. And I still don’t understand why you’re calling me. If we barely knew each other…
Two – You never know… Maybe we missed out on something.
One – Something?
Two – We could have been friends.
One – Er… Yeah…
Two – Maybe back then we never really got the chance to know each other and…
One – We spent a whole year in the same class. I imagine if we were meant to be friends, we had plenty of opportunities, didn’t we?
Two – Maybe we had nothing in common. Nothing to say to each other.
One – Yes… That’s pretty much what I meant.
Two – Back then, maybe. But what about now?
One – Now?
Two – Time has passed… Maybe if we met again now, we’d realise we have a lot in common. A lot to talk about. Pause. Hello…?
One – Yes… No, but… I don’t know what to say to you… And… that in itself, you see, isn’t a very good sign…
Two – Sorry. I won’t bother you any longer.
One – Okay…
Two – Shall we keep in touch?
One – Okay…
Two – You never know… Maybe in a few years we’ll have more in common.
One – Maybe…
They put their phones away.
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A sketch from the collection Lockdown Shorts
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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https://jeanpierremartinez.net