A Short Comedy Sketch for Two Actors About Love, Memory and Identity
They are tenderly embracing. They break the embrace, still smiling blissfully.
Him – We’re good together, aren’t we?
Her – Yes… (Pause) But do you mean, “We’re good together?” Or “We’re good, together?”
Him – Uh… I’m not sure… What’s the difference?
Her – The comma.
Him – The comma?
Her – With the comma, it means we’re good when we’re together. Without the comma, it means… are we really together?
Him – Oh. Right.
Her – Exactly.
A moment of worry. Another hug for reassurance. Then they separate again, still smiling.
Him – Do you remember how we met?
Her – Yes… (Pause) Actually… no. Do you?
Him – No, me neither. I thought you’d know…
Her – Where could we have met, do you think?
Him – If we’re together, we must’ve met somewhere.
Her – Obviously…
Him – But where?
Her – I don’t know… Where do people usually meet? You know, a man and a woman.
Him – At a party?
Her – Do we have any mutual friends?
He checks his phone.
Him – Not according to Facebook.
Her – Apparently, one in four couples meet at work.
Him – Where do you work?
Her – I’m… I think I’m a stripper. And you?
Him – Plumber.
Her – Plumber?
Him – Have they done any plumbing recently at your strip club?
Her – Oh no, I don’t work in a club. I do it as a hobby. At home…
Him – I see…
Her – And you?
Him – No, no, I’m… I’m a proper plumber. I mean, I work at other people’s places. I think…
Her – Got it.
Him – So… have you had a plumber over recently?
Her – No… but there was some kind of water damage a while ago.
Him – One of the water guys? You mean a guy from the water company?
Her – No… actual water damage. A leak.
Him – Oh, right, yeah… A leak. Of course. Not a hit-and-run or anything… I mean… Maybe I should go?
Her – Go? Where to?
Him – I… I don’t know… Home?
Her – You don’t live here?
Him – Do you think I live here?
Her – I’m not sure. Do you live somewhere else?
Him – I… can’t really remember. Are you sure you live here?
She looks around.
Her – Doesn’t look familiar.
He picks up a cardboard sign from the floor.
Him – Look…
Her – What is it?
Him – A sign.
Her – What does it say?
Him – Do Not Disturb.
Her – And the other side?
Him – Please Make Up the Room.
Her – Oh right.
She moves as if about to tidy up.
Him – What are you doing?
Her – Making up the room. That’s what you told me.
Him – I didn’t! That’s what the sign says.
Her – This is all very strange.
Him – Yeah… Maybe we should just go back to bed.
Her – Back to bed? You mean… together?
Him – I… don’t know… Should we?
Her – Yes, yes…
Him – Maybe it’ll all make more sense after a nap.
Her – I hope so…
Him – I’ll hang up the Do Not Disturb sign.
Her – Yes, I think that’s safest.
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A sketch from the collection Blackouts
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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