A short comedy sketch for two actors by Jean-Pierre Martinez.
They are standing side by side, exchanging a tender look.
Him – You all right?
Her – Yes… And you?
Him – I’m all right. (Pause) We’re dead, aren’t we?
Her – Why do you say that?
Him – I don’t know… The last thing I remember is a thirty-metre wave about to crash over the pool where we’d just lain down for a nap.
Her – Oh yes…
Him – You remember it too?
Her – I do.
Him – So we must be dead.
Her – Or maybe that wave carried us off together, miles away, and gently set us down, without waking us, by the pool of another hotel…
Him – Which would also happen to be called the Paradise Hotel.
Her – Safe and sound. Not even wet.
Him – Not the likeliest scenario, is it?
Her – So we’re dead.
Him – Well… dead…
Her – You’re right. I can’t really tell the difference from when we were alive.
Him – Except that in this world, we don’t seem to be married yet.
Her – Why do you say that?
Him – We’re not wearing wedding rings.
Her – You don’t think we’ve had children yet either?
Him – I don’t see their towels by the pool.
Her – Nor their floaties.
Pause
Him – Maybe we haven’t even met yet…
Her – You mean… we don’t know each other?
Him – I’m not sure. Do we?
Her – I don’t think so.
Pause
Him – So this is what death is.
Her – A parallel world where the hour of our death hasn’t struck.
Him – A paradise the tsunami never reached.
Her – And yet… we both saw that wave.
Him – Yes.
Her – If that’s how this works, we’re not supposed to remember anything from our past lives. Do you remember?
Him – Just fragments.
Her – Me too. I remember the wave… and you… and the kids. Mostly the kids. And you?
Him – Mostly the wave.
Her – It’s strange
Him – There must be a glitch in the system. We’re not meant to remember.
Her – Otherwise people would realise they’re already dead.
Him – Should we tell them?
Her – Tell who what?
Him – Tell them they’re dead.
She looks out towards the audience.
Her – Look at them… They seem happy. They wouldn’t believe us.
Him – They’d think we were mad. Lock us away.
Her – No. Let’s keep it to ourselves.
Him – You’re right.
Her – Our secret.
Pause.
Him – Shall we?
Her – Shall we what?
Him – Go and see what’s different in this world… this world where the tsunami never hit the Paradise Hotel.
Her – And where we haven’t met yet.
Him – I’d like to know what happens.
Her – Yes… Even if it’s a little frightening.
Him – First we’ll need to find out which room we’re in.
Her – Since we didn’t know each other, we probably weren’t in the same room.
Him – Let’s ask at reception.
Her – Let’s do that.
Him – Come on.
They begin to walk off.
Her – Still… it was a lovely day, wasn’t it?
Him – It was.
Her – Who could’ve guessed…
Him – That we’d meet today.
They walk off.
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A sketch from the collection Blackouts
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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https://jeanpierremartinez.net