A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Him and Her collapse onto the couch, obviously exhausted.
Her – I thought they would never leave…
Him – They say that seven out of ten couples don’t have sex during their wedding night. Now I understand why…
Her – We could try to improve the average…
Him – You forget that we take off at 6:45 AM… From Luton…
Her – From Luton?
Him – I told you! I got the tickets on eBay…
Her – Why do the low cost companies have to take off from the most depressing town in England…? On the other hand, it’s true that when you leave from Luton, it makes anywhere look like a dream destination. Even Bratislava…
Him – They say that Bratislava is very beautiful… In spring…
Her – Don’t you mean Prague…?
Him – Same region?
Her – The Seychelles are beautiful all year round.. And don’t forget that spring starts only in two months…
Him – Oh, The Seychelles… Everybody goes there…
Her – It’s true that a honeymoon to Bratislava is a lot more original… We won’t meet lots of honeymooners on the plane… The only couple who mixed up Bratislava with Brasilia resold their tickets on eBay…
Him – We will treat ourselves with the Seychelles in a few years… For our wedding anniversary…
Her – Yeah. Our silver anniversary… When I won’t be able to get into my swimsuit… (Sigh) Life is unfair. We should inherit at 20, start working at 50 when we’ve finished our retirement, and procreate at 70, to have some company in our old age… And marriage would be at the end, a final vow…
Him – On the other hand, a lifetime without a mother in law… Is it really worth it…?
Her – Do you think I will still love you in 20 years?
Him – Will you still have the choice…? When you can’t find a swimsuit that fits…
Her – I know a girl who said “no” on her wedding day, for a joke. She wanted to say “yes” immediately after but the mayor did not like the joke at all. She had to wait six months to get married for real…Turns out there’s a legal delay. Like for a driving licence. When you screw up, you can’t take it again right away. Did you know that?
Him – No…
Her – This wedding was as boring as hell, wasn’t it?
Him – People don’t marry just for the fun…
Her – Don’t tell me that they do it to go to Bratislava from Luton in the middle of the night. Or I’ll start asking myself why I said yes… What country is Bratislava in?
Him – Well… Prague was the capital of Czechoslovakia…
Her – Then you don’t even know which country you’re taking me to for our honeymoon! My mother was right: I really don’t know were I am going with you…
Him – Wait… Prague is now capital of Czechia… Bratislava should be capital of Slovakia. Or Slovenia… Anyway, it’s in Europe! We don’t even need a passport…
Her – And you, will you still love me in 20 years…?
Him – How could I not love my whole life long a girl who is ready to follow me to an unknown country of the EU…?
Her – If it’s a test then…
They kiss each other.
Him – I don’t want to hurry you, but our plane takes off in two hours. And it’s quite a long way to Luton…
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Him and Her
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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