A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
A character stands facing the audience, looking at a tomb. Another approaches.
Two – Excuse me, is this the tomb of the unknown author?
One – Oh no, this one is the tomb of the unknown soldier.
Two – Are you sure?
One – Sometimes it’s hard to tell… Since there’s nothing marked on it… (Takes out a paper) They gave me a map at the entrance, but still… (Puts on his glasses) Let me see. W28… Yes, that’s it. The unknown soldier. Between the unacknowledged genius and the anonymous alcoholic. The unknown author is just behind: X29…
Two – I wonder if it was such a good idea to put them all in the same cemetery…
One – Yes, that’s right. The secret agent is X27. (Silent moment, each in front of their grave) Was this one related to you?
Two – This one or another one. Who knows! I was born of an unknown father…
One – Oh, I see… (He looks at his map again) The unknown father… No, really, I don’t understand any of this. They could have at least put an alphabetical index. And this grid with letters and numbers is just ridiculous… It’s like a battleship game! A5, miss… C10, hit… B12, sunk…
Two – And you?
One – The unknown soldier? … That was my father…
Two – Really? And… did you follow in his footsteps?
One – What can I do? The military career is a longstanding tradition in our family. Soldiers, generation after generation. In fact, I already have a place reserved in the family vault.
Two – Oh, so there are vaults as well?
One – You didn’t know? Yes, yes, of course! My whole family is buried there. A long line of very discreet military men. You know: the Silent Army…
Two – The Silent Navy…?
One – The Silent Army!
Two – Ah, yes… I understood Silent Navy. I thought you were in the navy. Because of the battleship game…
One – So, you’re searching for your father?
Two – Yes.
One – And what would you ask your father if you could meet him one day? Here or in another world?
Two – His identification papers…?
One – Yes…
Two – And you?
One – Permission to search him. Just to make sure he’s not carrying any weapons…
Two – It’s not easy every day, you know, to be unaware of your origins.
One – That’s what I always tell my men at the barracks. When you don’t know where you come from, you can’t know where you’re going. To wage war, you need a good plan. And you need to know how to read it. Why do you think that for centuries, women were refused in the army? Because they can’t read a plan! They already struggle with a road map, or even a shopping list. So imagine a battle plan… And you? What do you do in life?
Two – Theatre.
One – Oh, yes, the… The theatre.
Two – Actor.
One – Yes.
Two – Are you familiar with it?
One – No. The performing arts, right? I’m the Silent Army, you’re the performing arts… Labels still help us find our way a bit, don’t they? And… are you a famous actor?
Two – No… I am an unknown actor.
One – Alright. Well then… nice not to have made your acquaintance.
Two – I won’t say goodbye…
One – Neither will I.
The first glances at one last tomb.
One – Look, that one isn’t even on my map…
Two – Let me see… (Reading) It’s the tomb of… the unknown man.
One – The unknown man…?
Two – Probably a homeless person…
One – Even the homeless deserve a final resting place…
The first one leaves. The second one remains alone.
Two – Well… Where was I…?
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Stories to die for
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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https://jeanpierremartinez.net