A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
A woman is seated at a desk. A man enters. He flips through some brochures. The phone rings.
Her – Travel Agency, how can I help you? Oh, Mrs. Seventy-eight twenty-four, just the person I was thinking about. How are you? Perfect… And how’s Mr. Seventy-eight twenty-four…? Oh, very well… For your wedding anniversary…? Well, why not ask him for the moon? Oh yes, a second honeymoon, that sounds quite appropriate. Come to the agency, and I’ll give you the brochure… Perfect, Mrs. Seventy-eight… Very well, Mrs. Seventy… Yes, Mrs. Seven… Well, I must let you go now, I have other people waiting. Me too, Mrs. Seventy-eight twenty-four… Can I help you, Sir?
Him – I’m still not entirely sure…
Her – I understand. There are so many possible destinations. It’s not easy to make a choice, is it?
Him – I used to love traveling… in the past.
Her – I can still try to advise you… Were you thinking of a space trip? Time journey? Both?
Him – You might think I’m foolish, but… I have never traveled through time before.
Her – Really? Prehistory is quite trendy these days, you know. Especially the Jurassic period. Dinosaur safaris are all the rage these days. A real killer! Everyone wants to come back with their Tyrannosaurus head to hang over the fireplace. Between you and me, even if a meteorite hadn’t caused the extinction of dinosaurs at the end of the Cretaceous, I’m sure today’s tourists would have managed to wipe them out.
Him – I prefer something a bit more peaceful.
Her – I understand. I feel the same way. Crowds on vacation… The only advantage with the Jurassic period is that it’s not very regulated.
Him – Oh, really…?
Her – During that time, Earth was free of humans then, and most creatures had vanished from that corner of the cosmic pool table by the early Tertiary period. Except for a handful of rats which happen to be our distant relatives. As a result, the influence of tourism on the current state of affairs was quite minimal. So in the Jurassic, freedom reigns supreme; you can pursue your desires without much consequence. And let me assure you, individuals fully exploit this opportunity.
Him – And what about time customs officers ? Don’t they intervene?”
Her – Do you think…? You don’t even need a time passport for the Jurassic period!
Him – I must admit I have a slight preference for old-fashioned trips, though. I mean, trips in the geographical sense. You might find this silly again, but I have never even been to the United States of Asia.
Her – Listen, I don’t want to be a downer, but you know, with globalization now, it’s pretty much the same everywhere…
Him – To that extent…?
Her – Travelling around the planet is mostly for businessmen… Or maybe a little cruise in the solar system… But well… There isn’t much to do other than taking photos from the portholes. You hardly leave the spacecraft. Oh, of course, it’s very comfortable, I won’t deny that. Swimming pool, restaurant, casino, duty-free shopping… But it’s mostly for older people… In fact, I just proposed a moon cruise to one of our best clients for their 5000th wedding anniversary.
Him – I see. What would you recommend, then?
Her – Personally, I’m a big fan of the 2000s… It’s not too far… There are very few tourists… Of course, you need to follow a few simple rules. The time customs officers keep a close eye on things… it’s still quite strict. But it’s not as restrictive as you might think. It’s a bit like the Jurassic period, after all…
Him – I’m not sure I follow…
Her – For the opposite reasons, of course. Since it’s quite close to us in time, you just need to adopt the fashion of that era, which was quite elegant, especially for ladies, and give up for a while everything that progress has brought us. You’ll blend in easily with the population! No, really, the 2000s are quite fun.
Him – Really? That’s curious, I hadn’t thought of it that way. But why not, indeed…
Her – Well, not to settle there permanently, of course. But for a week or two, it’s quite exotic. Without being too tiring, actually. And, believe me, the food in the 2000s was really good. For those lucky enough to have something on their plates, of course. No, because I don’t know if you’ve ever tasted brontosaurus steak, but… You have to like game meat to start with, right? No, a Cretaceous barbecue might be very quaint, but for me, it’s not worth a Big Mac Combo in one of those early traditional fast-food places… I assure you, in the 2000s, it tasted completely different from the freeze-dried burgers they serve us today…
Him – It’s tempting, that’s true… I hadn’t thought of that… But…
Her – Yes…?
Him – I was also considering a more… permanent kind of journey.
Her – I see. What we call here the last journey.
Him – Exactly.
Her – Why not… If you’ve thought it through…
Him – I’ve been thinking about it for some time now.
Her – Well, I’m sure in that case, you need to be certain. Because it’s a one-way ticket…
Him – I don’t want to come back, I assure you.
Her – I’ll need a medical certificate, of course.
Him – I brought it with me, just in case…
Her – When would you like to leave?
Him – Well… Right now, if possible. Once you’ve decided, why wait, right?
Her – Very well, let me check… (She types on her computer) Yes, this morning, that’s not a problem. Can I see the medical certificate? You’ll have to leave your passport with me as well. You won’t need it anymore anyway…
He hands her the documents, which she examines one by one.
Her – Perfect. Everything seems to be in order, Mr… Smith. I see you haven’t switched to digital yet either. I should scold you…
Him – Now, it’s no longer worth it, is it?
Her – You’re right… Do you have any luggage? I’m joking… Just to lighten the mood a bit… Because it’s an important decision, Mr. Smith…
Him – I am fully aware of that.
Her – Now, it’s true that this journey is a dream… and probably still holds many mysteries. A journey that has been increasingly requested, I must admit. Since we obtained authorization to offer these kinds of services. What can you do? People have been everywhere. They’ve experienced everything.
Him – At least with this journey, you don’t come back.
Her – Are you starting to feel a bit cramped among us?
Him – Let’s just say… I feel a bit weary, especially.
Her – I understand… Immortality has its perks, of course. But it’s true that one can get tired of it…
Him – Especially when it lasts too long.
Her – Very well… then all that’s left is for me to wish you a safe journey, Mr. Smith.
She takes a pistol out of a drawer and points it at him. Two muffled shots are heard.
Her – I shouldn’t, but that sound always makes me laugh. I don’t know why…
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Stories to die for
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