A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One character is there. A second character arrives, with a wide smile on their face.
Two – Good morning, Sir. I have some good news to share with you!
One – Alright, start with the bad news then.
Two – Um… no, I didn’t say I have good and bad news… Just good news.
One – Oh, sorry. When you’re not used to it… And… what’s this bad news then?
Two – Did you happen to validate a lottery ticket last week?
One – Yes, I did.
Two – Well, I’m pleased to inform you that you’ve won.
One – Me? Won? How much?
Two – 233 million euros.
One – 233 million?
Two – 233 million.
One – Ah, yes, that’s quite a sum.
Two – But it doesn’t seem to make you happy.
One – No, no, of course it does, but…
Two – But?
One – Isn’t it a bit too much?
Two – Too much?
One – I mean, a million would be enough. I’d buy a house and…
Two – And?
One – You’re right. Let’s say 10 million then. I’d buy a house and retire. But 233 million!
Two – I understand it might take some time to get used to this idea.
One – Couldn’t it be a bit less?
Two – Less?
One – I don’t know… Maybe 33 million euros. Honestly, I really can’t handle more…
Two – Sorry, but it’s take it or leave it.
One – I’ll need some time to think about it.
Two – Sure, take your time. But not too long. Because there’s a deadline… To claim your prize, I mean…
One – You know, with several hundred million euros, I’d have no family left. No friends.
Two – Trust me, with such fortune, you’ll rediscover distant cousins you thought you’d lost touch with. And you’ll find out you had more friends than you imagined.
One – Yes, but that’s precisely what scares me. I’ll be surrounded only by interested people.
Two – Yes…
One – Not to mention my wife…
Two – Your wife?
One – She’s a communist, my wife! She already criticises me for not being left-wing enough… So when I tell her I’ve won 233 million euros…
Two – Trust me, experience shows that with 233 million euros, a wife doesn’t stay communist for long…
One – No, you don’t understand… Relationships with everyone around me will be completely distorted…
Two – You’ll meet new people… People as wealthy as you.
One – I’m not under any illusions. I know that true rich people, those born into it, will never accept me. To them, I’ll always be the guy who won his fortune in the lottery.
Two – Perhaps…
One – And if my wife leaves me? How do I find another one?
Two – With 233 million euros?
One – I’ll always think they only want to marry me for my money!
Two – Obviously…
One – No, I think I’ll just buy another ticket instead.
Two – Another ticket?
One – A lottery ticket!
Two – What for ? You’ve already won!
One – Perhaps this time, I’ll be lucky enough to win a bit less…
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Enough is enough!
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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