A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One character is there. A second one arrives.
One – Hello. Can I kiss you?
Two – It’s nice of you to ask first, but… isn’t that a bit fast?
One – I don’t know.
Two – You might find me old-fashioned, but for me, it’s a bit too quick.
One – Sorry. You’re probably right.
Two – After all, we don’t know each other.
One – True.
Two – To start a conversation, you have to admit it’s quite direct.
One – Of course… But then… what could I have said?
Two – I don’t know, you could have… asked me for a lighter, for example.
One – That’s a bit old-fashioned, isn’t it?
Two – Yes… Plus, I don’t have a lighter.
One – And I don’t smoke.
Two – Well, that’s a plus point for you.
One – Oh really?
Two – Don’t get too carried away though.
One – Sorry…
Two – It’s true that you’re very handsome, but… exactly.
One – Exactly what?
Two – You know what they say…
One – No…
Two – Too good to be true.
One – You flatter me, but… too handsome… Let’s not exaggerate.
Two – And there’s also another saying.
One – What?
Two – Jack of all trades, master of none.
One – That’s true, I forgot they say that too.
Two – No, really, it would be a bit hasty. But we can kiss on the cheek, if you want…
One – You’re right, it’s better to start slowly.
They kiss on the cheek.
Two – Was that okay, not too…?
One – No, no, it was just right.
Two – We could have just shaken hands, but…
One – That might not have been enough…
Two – Maybe next time.
One – Yes…
Two – It’s always been my rule anyway. Never on the first night.
One – Of course… But then, there’s always a first time.
Two – That’s true…
One – No, because never on the first night… I didn’t mean to ask you to…
Two – Clearly.
One – Well, it’s up to you.
Two – So, do you think I was too…
One – Honestly, I’m not sure anymore.
Two – It’s true, you need to find a middle ground.
One – You’re right, I was a bit too direct.
Two – On the other hand, you did say hello first.
One – Sorry?
Two – You said, “Hello. Can I kiss you?” So, technically, you did start with hello. First.
One – That’s true.
Two – It’s still quite direct but… polite, nonetheless.
One – Yes.
Two – Now… it’s true that you’re very handsome.
One – Too good to be true…
Two – And what about me?
One – You?
Two – Am I not a bit too… to be true, I mean.
One – No, you’re fine. You’re… quite believably handsome.
Two – I’m not sure how to take that…
One – Sorry, I didn’t mean…
Two – Let’s stick to the cheek kiss after all.
One – Okay.
Two – Until next time, perhaps.
The second character leaves.
One – I think I might have done too much… Or maybe not enough?
Fade to black.
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A sketch from the collection Enough is enough!
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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