A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Two rather elderly characters meet. The first is dressed in a sporty manner and seems full of energy. The second is dressed more traditionally for their age and appears more subdued. The first immediately recognises the second.
One – Well, well! What are you doing here?
The other seems surprised.
Two – Do we know each other?
One – Do we know each other? (Introducing himself) Robert! We worked together in the same company for forty years!
Two – Oh yes…?
One – So, old friend, how’s retirement treating you?
Two – It’s fine… And you?
One – Me? I thought I’d be bored. But no way… I don’t have a minute to myself.
Two – Oh really…?
One – Well, on Mondays, I have my hiking club. Last week, we climbed a volcano.
Two – A volcano? I didn’t know there were any around here.
One – An ancient volcano. Extinct, obviously. Going down is fine, but going up…
Two – Yes, it’s like with stairs…
One – Well, it keeps you in shape, believe me. On Tuesdays, I teach literacy classes.
Two – At a school?
One – In prison.
Two – Oh yes…
One – There are many foreigners among the inmates, so naturally, there are also many illiterates…
Two – Like at school, then.
One – It’s very enriching, you know.
Two – Oh, because it’s paid?
One – Enriching… humanly, I mean. It’s voluntary, of course. We give a lot, but they give back as well, I assure you. Some come from countries I didn’t even know existed. It’s an exchange, really. We learn as much as they do, you know. About their language… About their culture… They tell me about their lives… We share memories… Even cooking recipes sometimes…
Two – Oh yes… It must be fascinating.
One – Where was I?
Two – Wednesday, I think…
One – Well, Wednesday is sacred! I look after my grandchildren. Since both parents work. A real joy. I’m lucky, they live just across the street from us. Do you have grandchildren?
Two – Three. They live in Australia.
One – Oh, damn…
Two – Yes, well…
One – Yesterday, I took them to the zoo. You’ll laugh, but they had never seen monkeys in real life. You should have seen their faces! Well, we didn’t stay too long. They were bonobos…
Two – Oh yes… And it’s springtime.
One – Then we went to McDonald’s… It’s not really my principle, but hey. If you don’t want to be out of touch with the youth, you have to make some compromises.
Two – That’s true…
One – On Thursdays… I have my Chinese class.
Two – You’re learning Chinese?
One – It’s really fascinating, I swear. And it’s not as complicated as it seems, really.
Two – If you say so…
One – Do you know how to say hello in Chinese?
Two – I confess that so far, I’ve managed to survive without knowing.
One – Ni hao.
Two – Meow?
One – Ni hao!
Two – Oh yes? But why Chinese? Are you planning to go to China?
One – Why not? If nothing else, I can always have a chat with the owner of the new Chinese restaurant that just opened in town. The Delights of Beijing. You know, just opposite the town hall.
Two – The Delights of Saigon… I think he’s Vietnamese.
One – Oh really? On Fridays, I have my book club…
Two – You still have time to read, with all that? I suppose there’s always the weekends.
One – Weekends? You’re joking! On Saturdays, I have my theatre class, and Sundays are for the choir.
Two – Well… You’re definitely not bored, that’s for sure.
One – You can say that again… Sometimes I wonder if I should slow down a bit. We’re not twenty anymore, after all.
Two – That’s true… Then again, at twenty, I wasn’t doing much already.
One – You have to stay active if you want to keep fit. And especially keep your mind sharp, because otherwise… You saw earlier, you didn’t even recognise me!
Two – Well…
One – Did you know that after sixty, our brains lose 100,000 neurons a day?
Two – I must not have many left, then…
One – Anyway, tell me about yourself!
Two – Me?
One – What do you do with your days?
Two – Me…? Nothing.
One – Nothing?
Two – I’m bored out of my mind.
One – No way? That’s crazy… But if you’re interested, you know…
Two – No, thanks.
One – No, what?
Two – No, I’m not interested.
One – Oh really?
Two – Honestly, I’d rather stay bored.
One – Oh, yeah?
Two – Yeah.
One – Well… When I see the old colleagues from the Railway Company, I’ll tell them how you’re doing. Do you know what those idiots gave me for my retirement?
Two – No…
One – An electric train!
Two – Oh, those idiots…
One – We get together once a year in June for a big meal and to reminisce about the good old days. You should come!
Two – Uh, yeah, why not… But you know, I spent my entire career in an airline company.
One – Oh, yeah…?
Two – I was an airline pilot.
One – OK… I won’t keep you any longer. Besides, I have to go. I also help out at the Red Cross at lunchtime. I don’t even have time to eat. I’m telling you, I don’t have a minute to myself…
Two – Yes, that must be quite a change from the Railway Company.
One – Well… Goodbye, Peter…
Two – My name is John.
One – In any case, enjoy your retirement.
Two – Yeah, you too. So… Tam biêt.
One – Tam biêt…?
Two – It means goodbye in Vietnamese.
One – Of course.
The first character walks away, still full of energy, while the second remains puzzled.
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Enough is enough!
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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