A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
A woman is on the street. A man approaches timidly.
One – Excuse me… You…?
Two – Yes… Yes…
One – And… How much is it?
Two – I… I don’t know…
One – You don’t know?
Two – Well, you see… To be honest, it’s the first time…
One – The first time?
Two – No, of course, it’s not the first time that… I mean, it’s the first time for me… Well, I’m new to the job, you see… So obviously, I’m not familiar with the rates…
One – I see…
Two – How much would you give me, then?
One – I don’t know… Around twenty-seven…
Two – Twenty-seven euros?
One – Uh… No… Twenty-seven years…
Two – Oh, okay!
One – Besides, I don’t know the prices either…
Two – I thought so… Twenty-seven euros seemed quite specific… For someone unfamiliar with the prices… No, I meant… How much would you give me for…
One – Sorry, we misunderstood each other… I’m not used to this either… It’s my first time too…
Two – The first time?
One – Not the first time… I mean, the first time that…
Two – Of course… Everyone has a first time, after all…
One – So, I don’t know the current rates at all… That’s why I was asking for the rates… for your services.
Two – In that case, it’s not going to be easy… If neither of us knows the prices… I don’t know, how much would you give me… So, this time, I’m not talking about my age, are we clear?
One – Of course… Sorry.
Two – Don’t apologise Actually, I’m thirty-two… I should thank you for your courtesy… So?
One – So what?
Two – How much?
One – Oh yes… Well, it’s difficult to say just like that…
Two – Name a price. How much would you be willing to pay?
One – I don’t know… A hundred and fifty…?
Two – A hundred and fifty?
One – I’m really sorry… Obviously, it’s not enough…
Two – Are you kidding? But that’s way too much!
One – You think so?
Two – I may not know the rates, but come on… a hundred and fifty euros is really throwing money out the window. And as I mentioned, I have no experience…
One – I’m not sure that, in that case, experience…
Two – Still… Or, you can pay me afterward.
One – Afterward?
Two – You can give me whatever you want. If you’re satisfied. Like a satisfaction guarantee, sort of!
One – No, honestly, it would make me uncomfortable…
Two – Yes, but then, what do we do?
One – Sorry for asking, but… Why are you doing this?
Two – Why am I on the street?
One – You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, obviously.
Two – It’s because of a fortune teller.
One – A fortune teller?
Two – She read my earlobes, and… Yes, it was a fortune teller who read earlobes, apparently, it’s very rare. That’s why I tended to believe her…
One – And what did she see in your ear?
Two – Well… She said she saw love… and a sidewalk. Since then, somehow, everything unfolded like fate. Until… Destiny, probably.
One – She might have been a beginner fortune teller too… Or perhaps, you misinterpreted…
Two – You think?
One – I don’t know… Reading earlobes is quite delicate, after all…
Two – And you?
One – Why did I end up… Well, let’s say… I’ve had some romantic disappointments, and… I started wondering if…
Two – If it wasn’t simpler like this.
One – Exactly. But I realise it’s probably not a good idea.
Two – Oh no, don’t tell me you’re going to leave like that! You’re my first customer, and I find you quite friendly…
One – Thank you, but… Now, it makes me a bit uncomfortable…
Two – Now?
One – Now that we’ve talked…
Two – Do you think I talk too much, is that it?
One – Not at all, quite the opposite! But precisely, now that we’ve gotten to know each other a bit…
Two – What if I don’t charge you?
One – Are you joking… No, really, it would bother me…
Two – Just consider it a launch offer… A free trial…
One – Still, I’m not sure… Let me at least invite you to dinner first…
Two – If you insist…
One – Well… Let’s go, then…
They leave.
Two – Now that I think about it, I believe you’re right. She must have been a beginner too, that fortune teller. Anyway, she didn’t charge me either…
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Sidewalk Chronicles
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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https://jeanpierremartinez.net