A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
A man is in his bed. The woman arrives. She’s dressed in black and carries a scythe.
Woman – So, dear sir? Is it time to depart? I don’t see your little suitcase. Between us, you won’t need it where you’re going, but it seems to provide some comfort…
Man – Is that a real scythe?
Woman – Oh, this? No, of course not… It’s fake. It’s made of plastic. Look!
She takes the blade and bends it.
Man – All right.
Woman – No, of course… A real scythe… Someone might get hurt.
Man – Especially in a hospital.
Woman – The scythe is just a symbol. Like a broom for a witch or a crozier for a bishop. So people recognize us immediately when they see it.
Man – I did recognize you immediately, that’s true.
Woman – It saves us from having to introduce ourselves. Can you imagine the scene…? Hello, I’m Death. I’ve come to cut the little breath you have left after this hospital’s accountant reaped the last of your remaining wheat.
Man – At least you have a sense of humour…
Woman – You won’t be bored with us, that’s for sure. So, are you ready?
Man – My God… As ready as one can be. And what do I have to do, exactly?
Woman – You, nothing. I just have to turn off the light…
Man – Will you accompany me on this final journey?
Woman – No, don’t worry. I’m just the messenger, so to speak. Or the postman, if you prefer. I’m here for the signed and sealed certificate. Afterward…
Man – All right… Can I have one more minute?
Woman – If you’d like to take one last trip to the bathroom before departing, now’s the time. Afterward, you won’t have what’s necessary for it. Trust me, there comes an age when you have inconveniences, not only pleasures.
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Not even dead
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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