A Monologue by Jean-Pierre Martinez
I’m bored, aren’t you? No, but I’m not particularly bored with you. I’m bored in general. With or without you. I’ve always been quite bored, actually, ever since I was little. I don’t know why… At first, it bothered me a bit. But then I got used to it. My wife, on the other hand, is never bored. She’s lucky. She says she always has something to do. And when she truly has nothing else to do, she sleeps. As for me, I struggle with sleep. I wake up at three in the morning and can’t fall back asleep. So, I’m bored. Even at night. While my wife sleeps soundly. Well, during the day, I could work, you might say. Maybe that would help me sleep better at night. But if you think working is much more fun than being bored… Work is just good for keeping busy during the day. It’s like watching TV at night, doing crossword puzzles on Sundays, or playing cards on vacation. It only allows temporarily forgetting that we don’t know what to do with ourselves. No, I’m bored full time… and the worst part is, I wonder if I don’t derive a certain satisfaction from it. Because there is a pleasure in being bored, right? Just as there is pleasure in being sad. A kind of nobility even. For one thing, to be bored, you need to have the leisure for it. And be able to afford it. It’s a luxury not everyone can manage. Boredom is a fundamental freedom unrestricted by any hobby. Besides, I wonder if I don’t prefer being bored to having fun, after all. It’s true, having fun gets boring in the long run. You always end up doing the same things. Seeing the same people. Doing the same things with the same people. Whereas… there are a thousand ways to be bored… And then, having fun, between us, it’s a bit vulgar, isn’t it? It’s noisier, for starters. Have you ever heard people having fun? The bursts of laughter, the bursts of voices… It’s like bursts of shells. Personally, it hurts my ears. People who get bored, at least, they don’t disturb anyone. I mean, people who can experience boredom quietly in their own space and have the decency o keep it to themselves. Not those who announce every five minutes that they don’t know what to do. Like some children. Mine, for example… You know, it’s true.Just because we’ve had children doesn’t automatically qualify us to be recreation leaders. Otherwise, we’d have to mandate that everyone getting married and planning to have kids obtain an entertainer qualification. No, the beauty of enjoying boredom is that you can experience it anywhere. And you don’t need anyone. I can find ways to be bored in any setting, even at the theatre. And with anyone – yes, even with my wife. In fact, especially with my wife. Truth be told, I still prefer to be bored in her company. Because, believe it or not, you can’t share a pleasant bout of boredom with just anyone! You really have to come across someone discreet enough… And the best part is, my wife finds it entertaining when I share that with her. I’m bored, and she’s having fun… Well, it’s not that I don’t get bored with you, but please forgive me. I have something to do right now. Something very boring, actually. So, you see, you can also be bored while doing something… Well then, enjoy your boredom..
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A sketch from the collection Like a fish in the air
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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