A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One – Did you hear the fishmonger this morning, at the market?
Two – What?
One – When she saw us coming, she said, “Morning, old crabs.”
Two – Morning, old crabs…?
One – It’s a bit familiar, isn’t it? I mean… even for a fishmonger.
Two – I didn’t hear that.
One – Morning, old crabs… I know I’m not getting any younger, but calling me an old crab…
Two – I’m telling you I didn’t hear anything. Besides, we didn’t go to the fishmonger this morning.
One – Didn’t we?
Two – We bought a chicken.
One – Oh, right? Are you sure?
Two – The one we ate at lunchtime.
One – Then it must have been the poulterer.
Two – Morning, old crabs… Yes, that’s it, it’s coming back to me now. Are you sure she didn’t actually say “Morning, lovebirds”?
One – Lovebirds…?
Two – The poulterer, I’m telling you! Why would she say “old crabs”?
One – Oh… maybe I misheard…
Two – Yes… You have been going a bit deaf lately.
One – Morning, lovebirds is much nicer, isn’t it?
Two – Yes…
One – Are you sure she said lovebirds? I mean, old crabs and lovebirds don’t exactly sound alike…
Two – Or maybe I’m the one going deaf…
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Of Animals and Men
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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https://jeanpierremartinez.net