A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Alice is standing there, appearing to wait for something. Tom arrives and starts waiting as well. He looks at her discreetly. She avoids his gaze.
Tom – Excuse me, are you waiting for a taxi?
Alice – Yes…
Tom – No, don’t worry, it’s not… just trying to start a conversation.
Alice – A conversation?
Tom – I mean, it’s not to hit on you. I was really just asking if you were waiting for a taxi.
Alice – Alright…
Tom – You could very well be waiting for something else.
Alice – What else could you wait for at a taxi rank? A bus?
Tom – So you are waiting for a taxi…
Alice – And…?
Tom – And since you were first, the next taxi will be for you. That’s why I asked. I now know I’ll have to wait for the next one.
Alice – Sorry for you.
Tom – No, no, don’t apologise… It’s not a big deal.
Alice – I wasn’t apologising.
A pause.
Tom – I’m suddenly having doubts…
Alice – Again?
Tom – Are you sure this is a proper taxi rank?
Alice – There’s a sign. It says “taxi.”
Tom – Yeah, but that doesn’t mean much.
Alice – Oh, doesn’t it?
Tom – In a place like this… It’s not certain there’s an actual taxi rank.
Alice – Why would it say “taxi,” then?
Tom – It might just be a meeting point.
Alice – A meeting point?
Tom – I mean, a rendezvous point. In small country stations, it’s often like that.
Alice – This isn’t exactly a small country station…
Tom – Small provincial towns, if you prefer. People book a taxi the day before to go to the hospital or wherever, and the next day, the taxi waits for them at that spot. At a specific time. In front of the “taxi” sign.
Alice – Oh, really?
Tom – Did you book a taxi?
Alice – No.
Tom – Let’s just hope it’s a genuine taxi rank…
A longer silence, as doubt settles in.
Alice – So you think we’re waiting for nothing?
Tom – I don’t know…
A pause.
Alice – What if we called a taxi company?
Tom – That’s only in Paris. In some big provincial cities, maybe. Certainly not here…
Alice – Right… so we’ll just wait.
A pause.
Tom – Do you have the time, please? (Alice gives him a surprised look.) No, I’m not saying that to…
Alice – Start a conversation…?
Tom – I don’t have a watch… (Alice notices the watch on his wrist.) Well, I do, but… the battery’s dead.
Alice – Why do you still wear it, then?
Tom – I don’t know… I suppose I got attached…
Alice – Alright…
Tom – No, I’m joking. The battery just gave out. Just now.
Alice – Bad luck.
Tom – So?
Alice – So?
Tom – Do you have the time?
Alice – Oh, sorry… (She looks at her watch.) It’s almost midnight…
Tom – Midnight…
Alice – Yes… There’s little chance that someone has booked a taxi to go to the hospital at this time.
Tom – Unless it’s an emergency… But in case of a heart attack or stroke, you wouldn’t book a taxi the night before, would you?
Alice – No… probably not.
Tom – I don’t know… Maybe it really is a proper taxi rank…
Alice – We’ll wait a bit longer.
Tom – Even if it is a taxi rank, it doesn’t necessarily mean a taxi will actually show up. On a Sunday night, at midnight, in this dump of a town…
Alice – You’re not exactly an optimist, are you? I’m beginning to wonder if I did the right thing by starting this conversation.
Tom – Sorry… But I can be very funny sometimes, you know?
Alice – Probably unintentionally, I’d guess.
Tom – Can I ask where you’re heading?
Alice – Why?
Tom – Oh, not to…
Alice – To hit on me.
Tom – It’s just that… it would be a miracle if just one taxi arrived within the next hour, let alone a second one. I was thinking if we’re heading more or less in the same direction, we could share. I mean, take the same taxi.
Alice – Well, I don’t know…
Tom – Where are you going?
Alice (pointing in a direction) – I’m going that way…
Tom (a bit taken aback) – Oh, right…
Alice – And you?
Tom – Me too… More or less…
Alice – We’d need to get a taxi first.
Tom – I assure you, I’m not saying this to hit on you, but…
Alice – If you stopped starting every sentence with “I’m not saying this to hit on you,” I assure you it would be a bit more credible.
Tom – Sorry…
A pause.
Alice – Well, go ahead then.
Tom – No, it’s just… I have this feeling that I’ve seen you somewhere before.
Alice looks momentarily bewildered.
Alice – Wait… “Do you have the time?” “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before?” “Do you still live with your parents?” It’s almost done as well. What’s the next question? “Do you happen to have a light?” Relax. We’ve already started the conversation.
Tom – OK.
Alice – If you have something interesting to say, go ahead, I’m listening. Don’t bother with the preliminaries because I assure you, preliminaries are not your thing…
Tom – Sorry, it’s just that… I really had the feeling I’d seen you somewhere before.
Alice – Sorry, I’m a bit on edge…
A pause. He pulls out a cigarette and looks in his pockets for something to light it with. In vain.
Tom – So, I’m hesitant to ask if you have a light…
Alice – I don’t. I don’t smoke.
He puts away his cigarette.
Tom – Never mind… I mean… Good for you if you don’t smoke.
Alice – Yes.
A pause.
Tom – Waiting for a taxi…
Alice – Yes, I got that.
Tom – No, it’s… It’s the title of a song I wrote a long time ago.
Alice – You write songs?
Tom – Yes… Well, no, not anymore, but… Why, do I look like someone who writes songs?
Alice – I don’t know. I don’t know anyone who writes songs. At least not personally. And what was that song about?
Tom – It’s the story of a guy who… who waits for a taxi.
Alice – Yes, from the title, I suspected as much. Is that it?
Tom – It was a long time ago. I don’t remember it very well. The first line was… it’s nearly midnight under the pallid neon lights, and for over an hour alone in front of this station… And the chorus was, I’m waiting for the taxi, taxi, taxi…
Alice – I’m waiting for the taxi, taxi, taxi…?
Tom – Yes. That’s what I remember…
Alice – Right… And did your taxi eventually show up?
Tom – No… You see… I’m still waiting for it…
Alice – That’s not very encouraging.
Tom – Well, the whole taxi thing was symbolic, of course. The guy waiting for the taxi… that will take him somewhere. It was a bit like me when I was younger, you see. Me or someone else. At eighteen, we’re all waiting for something to happen, aren’t we? For life to embrace us. For someone to come…
Alice – I see. And in your case, then, no one came.
Tom – No… Well, actually, yes… Since then, I’ve taken quite a few taxis, of course. But not the one that would have taken me where I really wanted to go.
Alice – And where exactly did you want to go?
Tom – I don’t know…
Alice – Well, for now, I’d quite like to get home.
Tom – So, you don’t live with your parents.
Alice – No. Why? Do you live with your parents?
Tom – No… Well, it depends.
Alice – Depends?
Tom – Depends on the day.
Alice – Right…
A pause.
Tom – It’s coming back to me now!
Alice – What?
Tom – Where we’ve seen each other before.
Alice – And?
Tom – You were at that party at Vincent’s tonight too.
Alice – Yes, indeed… Sorry, I don’t remember you.
Tom – I asked you to dance. You actually refused…
Alice – That didn’t leave much of an impression on you, did it? You didn’t remember me earlier…
Tom – There was mood lighting over there; you looked more… Over here with the neon lights…
Alice – Thanks.
Tom – No, but you’re very pretty too.
Alice – And now, are you sure you’re not trying to hit on me?
Tom – Maybe a little bit now, yes.
Alice – I had planned to go home with a friend who has a car, but she found a guy over there, so…
Tom – Oh yes, unlucky. I mean, for you.
Alice – I thought I might find a taxi. And you?
Tom – Actually… I wasn’t really invited to that party. Well, I was, but… I was invited by a friend who couldn’t come at the last minute, so…
Alice – So, you didn’t know anyone.
Tom – So, I didn’t see myself staying there to sleep.
Alice – Your sensitivity is commendable.
Tom – I came by train. But I missed the last one. The next one is at 7:32 tomorrow morning, I checked.
Alice – And in the meantime, the station is closed.
Tom – I’m not sure it’s worth waiting.
Alice – For the taxi, you mean?
Tom – We have to face the facts, no taxi is going to come here tonight.
Alice – I live thirty kilometres away; I can’t walk home.
Tom – Apart from the 7:32 train, I don’t see any other option.
Alice (looking at her watch) – It’s not even half past midnight yet. We’re not going to wait here for seven hours!
Tom – Especially since it’s not very warm.
Alice – We could go back over there, of course, but…
Tom – To that party, you mean?
Alice – At Vincent’s place, yes.
Tom – Honestly, I’m not sure I want to go back there.
Alice – Oh really?
Tom – Actually, Vincent threw me out.
Alice – He threw you out? Why?
Tom – A murky story about money that went missing from a bag. Since I was the only one nobody knew, I was, of course, the prime suspect. I swear it wasn’t me.
Alice – I know.
Tom – Thanks. Do I really look like someone who would steal from guests at parties where I’m not invited?
Alice – Actually, you do.
Tom – So how do you know I didn’t steal the money?
Alice – Because that money is mine. I thought it had gone missing. I mentioned it to my friend Cecilia, who mentioned it to Vincent. But I’ve just found my money in the lining of my bag.
Tom – Right. So essentially, it’s thanks to you that I was thrown out like a thief.
Alice – I didn’t know my friend would mention it to Vincent. And make such a fuss. That’s partly why I left, actually. I was very uncomfortable…
Tom – And so was I.
Alice – I’m really sorry.
Tom – Yeah.
Alice – Here, if a taxi does eventually show up, I’ll invite you to come with me. I’ll drop you off, and I’ll pay for the ride.
Tom – You’re not taking much of a risk. No taxi is ever going to come here tonight.
Alice – So what can I do to make you forgive me? Even though none of this is really my fault…
Tom – Shouting thief because you can’t find your money… and letting an innocent get accused.
Alice – Well… I didn’t accuse anyone, it was my friend who…
Tom – I saw the hatred in their eyes, I assure you. They could have lynched me…
Alice – Are you sure you’re not exaggerating a bit?
Tom – OK, there is one thing you could do to make me forgive you.
Alice – Go on…
Tom – Dance with me.
Alice – Pardon?
Tom – Earlier, I asked you to dance, and you refused. Give me this dance.
Alice – Here? At a taxi stand?
Tom – We don’t have anything urgent to do, do we?
Alice – There’s not even any music!
Tom – I’ve got some on my phone. You owe me this, don’t you?
Alice hesitates.
Alice – OK, but we’re only talking about dancing, right?
Tom – Right.
He takes out his phone, plays a very classic slow tune, puts the phone on the ground, and opens his arms.
Alice – Are you always ready to whip out a slow dance as soon as you meet a girl at a taxi stand?
Tom – If you prefer another song…
Alice – Let’s go for it. After all, what do I have to lose, since you’re not trying to hit on me at all…
She agrees to let him embrace her, and they start to dance.
Black.
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A sketch from the collection The Rebels
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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