Two characters enter. As they pass each other, they stop.
One – Excuse me, do you have a light, please?
Two – Yes, but I won’t give it to you.
One – And why’s that, if I may ask?
Two – Because smoking is very bad for your health! Smoking kills. It’s written on cigarette packets. And between you and me, in a theatre, it could be quite dangerous too.
One – Oh no, it’s not to light a cigarette… nor to set the theatre on fire.
Two – Really?
One – It’s to set fire to a house.
Two – Why would you want to set fire to a house?
One – It’s my wife’s lover’s house.
Two – In that case… (He hands the other a box of matches.) Take the whole box. Just in case your wife has more than one lover.
One – Thank you.
Two – You’re welcome, it’s only right.
He exits. The other takes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it.
One – I really need to quit…
He exits.
Blackout.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Stage Briefs
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article No Smoke Without Fire est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

One character arrives, pulling a dog on wheels attached to a leash. Another character arrives in turn, holding a pack of cigarettes (the text may be slightly adapted based on the gender of the two characters).
Two – So, you’re back?
One – Oh, hello! Yes, yes, I got back this morning. And you?
Two – Last night.
One – Not too much traffic on the road?
Two – We left early, fortunately, because otherwise…
One – Yes… Vacation’s over…
Two – Well, they say that, but in the end, we’re not unhappy to be back home, right?
One – Mmm…
Two – We can’t be on vacation all the time. Eventually, we’d get bored. (He offers his pack of cigarettes to the other.) Cigarette?
One – Thanks, I quit.
Two – Oh, really?
One – Back-to-school resolutions, you know… Now, I vape…
He takes out an electronic cigarette and starts vaping. The other puts away his pack of cigarettes.
Two – Well, I might as well give it a try too… (He takes out a pillbox, swallows one, is about to put the box away, but changes his mind.) Oh, sorry, do you want one? It’s a little relaxant… Normally, it’s prescription-only, but well, they’re very mild…
One – Thanks, I quit medication too.
Two – Oh boy… We’re not just talking about resolutions then… It’s heavy, I must say. Did you meet God this summer, become a monk, and just came to pick up your things before going to seclude yourself in your monastery, is that it?
One – At least you haven’t taken a vow of silence…
Two – Well, you’re right. I might as well quit.
One – Quit… talking nonsense, you mean?
Two – Quit the meds!
One – Oh yes, of course… It’s true, you don’t look very well. For someone who’s just returned from vacation…
The other takes it a bit hard.
Two – And your wife, how is she?
One – Honestly… I quit her too.
Two – Quit?
One – We were constantly bickering anyway… So instead, I took… something inflatable…
Two – Oh yes… Yes, that’s… It’s less complicated, for sure…
One – I inflate her every night. We watch a bit of TV, and then… And you?
Two – Me? Oh no, I… I’m still with my wife. The old-fashioned way, you know…
One – I see…
An awkward silence.
Two – And the dog, how’s it doing?
One – The dog? Like clockwork.
Two – Oh yes, I hadn’t noticed, actually… So, you’ve also quit the dog…
One – This one doesn’t bark, and at least, I don’t have to pick up after him.
Two – Obviously… But then why do you keep taking him out for a walk?
One – Habit, I guess… But you’re right, I think I’ll quit taking the dog out to pee too… It’ll save me from some unpleasant encounters…
Another silence.
Two – I’d suggest grabbing a beer, but I have a feeling about what you’re going to say…
One – I quit alcohol…
Two – There you go.
Some time.
Two – A coffee, maybe?
One – I quit caffeine.
Two – A decaf?
One – Alright… With a sweetener, then. And on the condition that you promise to keep quiet a bit.
Two – That’s what I always tell my wife. Everything would be so much simpler if people stopped talking about nothing.
One – You’re telling me…
Two – And with your… inflatable thing, you…
The other gives him an annoyed look.
Two – Okay, I won’t say anything more.
They walk away.
One – Come on, dog.
Two – Is that its name?
One – Didn’t you promise to tone it down a bit?
Two – Sorry…
One – I think I’m also quitting the neighbours…
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Sidewalk Chronicles
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Like Clockwork est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A man dressed as a woman, resembling a prostitute, is waiting on the sidewalk. A nun approaches. She seems unpleasantly surprised to see the man.
Nun – What are you doing here?
Man – Can’t you see?
Nun – Don’t you think you stand out a bit in this nice setting?
Man – Are you the police?
Nun – Not exactly…
Man – The street belongs to everyone, right?
The man offers her money.
Nun – Well, take this tenner then, and get lost, alright?
The man looks at the money, surprised, but doesn’t take it.
Man – Thank you, Sister, that’s very generous of you. But I’m afraid I’ll have to stay.
Nun – I’m just asking you to move to the end of the street!
Man – Yes, but sorry, that’s not going to happen.
The nun thinks for a moment, annoyed, then decides.
Nun – Alright, how much for a… you know?
Man – Why? Interested?
The nun takes out two twenty-euro bills and hands them to him.
Nun – Here are two twenty-euro bills. You see, my car is just around the corner. Why don’t you go check if I’m there? Just consider it part of your job…
Man – But I’m telling you, no.
Nun – And why not?
Man – Because I have a good reason not to move from here, that’s why.
Nun – What reason?
Man – Do I ask you questions?
Nun – I don’t mind if you do, as long as you clear off from here afterward.
Man – Fine. So why does it bother you so much that I’m here? It’s not very Christian. I remind you that Jesus himself didn’t stone the adulterous woman…
Nun – Yeah, well, when it comes to adulterous women, I’m more in favour of stoning, you know…
Man – Is that a threat?
Nun – Listen, I have nothing against you, alright? I’m keeping an eye on the house across the street, and I’d prefer to stay discreet, you understand? If there are two of us, it starts looking like a gathering…
Man – Number 13?
Nun – Yes, number 13, why?
Man – No, I’m asking you why. Why are you so interested in what’s happening at number 13?
Nun – Let’s just say… two people planned to meet there. Two people who are married, but not to each other, if you catch my drift.
Man – And heaven sent you to prevent this mortal sin… You’re some kind of guardian angel, right?
Nun – I’d rather be a sort of cuckold…
Man – Ah, I see… You’re the wife of…?
Nun – Can’t hide anything from you.
The man is taken aback.
Man – Oh yes, of course, that changes everything…
Nun – So?
Man – Well, congratulations on your disguise. I would never have guessed that…
Nun – Thank you.
Man – What do you think of mine?
Nun – Don’t tell me you too…
Man – Oh yes… I’m the betrayed husband.
Nun – No way?
Man – Yes…
Nun – It’s unbelievable… Well, congrats to you too… I would never have guessed that…
Man – And now, what do we do?
Nun – It’s true that our disguises are perfect, but…
Man – Yes, the least we can say is that our pairing is quite unlikely.
Nun – And quite noticeable.
Man – It’s really unfortunate.
Nun – We’re going to end up drawing attention, that’s obvious.
Man – Too bad we couldn’t coordinate.
Nun – Let’s just act like we don’t know each other.
Man – Alright… we can give it a try…
Nun – They shouldn’t be arriving late anyway.
A moment passes during which they try to ignore each other.
Man – I’m just taking a few photos with my phone and then I’m out. It’s for my lawyer.
Nun – I did think about hiring a detective for the photos, but it’s so expensive.
Man – And so cliché.
Nun – If your photos turn out bad, I’ll send you mine. You can leave me your email address.
Man – Here, take my card.
He hands her a card, which she takes.
Nun – Oh, you teach at the city high school?
Man – Yes, why?
Nun – I teach there too.
Man – That’s at least one thing in common.
Nun – It’s strange that we haven’t run into each other before.
Man – Well, maybe we have. But I guess you don’t go to work dressed like this either…
Nun – No, you’re right…
A moment passes.
Man – Do you smoke?
Nun – No, thank you…
Man – Oh no, I don’t smoke either. I just wanted to know if you were a smoker.
Nun – Oh really? And why is that?
Man – My wife is a smoker. It’s absolutely unbearable.
Nun – Yes, I know what you mean… My husband smokes too.
Man – At least they have that in common. Maybe they met in a tobacco shop…
Nun – Who knows…
Man – Ah, here they come, I think.
Nun – I dare not look… They’ll spot us for sure.
Man – All we can do now is act like in the movies.
Nun – In the movies?
He takes her in his arms and kisses her for a long time. They gradually release each other.
Man – There, they must have entered number 13.
Nun – Are you sure it was them?
Man – Not quite, actually… I didn’t really look… You see, I had my mind elsewhere…
Nun – Yes, me too… Do you think they recognised us?
Man – Honestly, I doubt it. With our disguises…
Nun – Well, I think it’s best if we leave.
Man – I’m wondering if I shouldn’t entrust this matter to a private detective, though.
Nun – Yes, no matter what, it’s a profession.
Man – But come to think of it, why not hire the same detective for both of our cases? After all, it’ll be the same photos, right?
Nun – You’re right, it would be silly to multiply expenses. We can share the costs…
Man – Please, I insist… It’s on me.
Nun – You’re a gentleman like they don’t make anymore. And I don’t even know your name…
Man – I think it’s better not to linger around here too much… Would you like to have a drink somewhere?
Nun – I don’t know if it’s very reasonable, but…
Man – The hardest part will be finding a place where we could go unnoticed.
Nun – Indeed…
They exit.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Sidewalk Chronicles
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article The Street Belongs to Everyone est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A character (man or woman) enters carrying a visibly heavy box. Another character arrives in turn.
One – One, that looks heavy… Are you moving?
Two – Does it show that much?
They put the box on another box that is already there.
One – I’d offer to help, but with my back…
Two – Thanks anyway…
He sits on the boxes to catch his breath. The other takes out a pack of cigarettes.
One – Want one?
Two – Thanks, I’m already on the brink of apoplexy…
The other puts away his pack.
One – You’re right, I should quit too… I’ll take a licorice instead.
He takes out a box of licorice.
One – Want one?
The other signals no.
Two – Thanks, no. I’m already very thirsty.
One – I’ve tried everything, even acupuncture, but I can’t quit completely.
Two – Mm-hmm…
One – It’s strange; I’ve never seen you in the building… and we’re getting acquainted on the day you’re moving…
Two – Do you think we got acquainted?
The other just looks at him with a smile, still chewing his licorice.
One – So, where are you going with your boxes?
Two – I’m moving to the 19th.
One – The 19th district?
Two – Uh, yes… Not the 19th century.
One – It will be a change for you.
Two – Yes… Well, the 19th probably isn’t that different from the 20th.
One – But we won’t have the chance to see each other again…
Two – I would tell you that I’ll miss you, but since we had never crossed paths until now. Have you been living in this building for a long time?
One – Oh, no, but I don’t live here.
Two – Oh, yes… That probably explains why we didn’t run into each other more often…
One – I have my office on the third floor.
Two – I see. The dentist.
One – Uh, no… Mine is just across. The exorcist.
Two – The exorcist…?
One – Obviously, it’s not written on the door.
Two – Of course.
One – I mainly consult in the evening. Or even at night, it’s more discreet.
Two – That’s probably why we never met…
One – People who come to see me don’t always want to be recognised…
Two – I’m not sure I’d like to run into your patients in the stairwell after nightfall…
One – You don’t believe in exorcism.
Two – Does it show that much?
One – I don’t blame you, but you’re wrong.
Two – Maybe, yes… And does it work?
One – Look around you… And especially above… Don’t you think the market is immense?
Two – Maybe, yes… But with all that, you still haven’t managed to quit smoking?
One – I haven’t found the magic formula that would free me from the demonic powers of nicotine.
Two – Marlboro, leave this body!
A moment.
One – And why are you moving, if I may ask?
Two – Well… To be closer to my work, first.
One – By moving from the 19th to the 20th?
Two – And also… How should I say? Because I felt a diabolical presence in the apartment I occupy on the top floor of this building.
One – Really? You should have told me sooner…
Two – Unfortunately, I didn’t know you yet.
One – And by diabolical presence, what do you mean exactly?
Two – I mainly mean… my wife.
One – I see… I have many cases like yours…
Two – Well, enough of this, but I have to get back to it. Since you don’t want to help me…
One – I could still try to exorcise your spouse.
Two – You could do that?
One – Which floor is it?
Two – Eighth.
One – You brought down these boxes from the eighth floor, with no elevator?
Two – And I still have a lot more to bring down…
One – Oh, yes… Eighth without an elevator… That’s truly diabolical…
Two – Yes…
One – Sorry, but I think, there… I can’t do anything for you…
He walks away, and the other stays there with his boxes, a bit destabilised He decides to leave when another character (played by the one who just left) wearing a carnival mask arrives. He pretends to look for something, like a name on a mailbox or a professional sign.
Three – Excuse me, the exorcist, which floor is it?
Two – Third. Across from the dentist.
Three – Obviously, there’s no sign downstairs.
Two – Nor on the door.
Three – Thanks…
He leaves. The other stays there, sitting on his box.
Two – I think it was time for me to move…
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Open Letters
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Diabolical est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

The landlord stands behind the counter as the customer (male or female) arrives.
Landlord – Sir, what can I get you?
The other – Don’t you recognize me?
Landlord – We see so many people… What can I get you?
The other – Definitely not a Oxo…
Landlord – No…? I didn’t recognize you. Well… it seems that Oxo did you some good after all. You look twenty years younger.
The other – Yes… Oxo. And also the brand new heart I had transplanted a few months ago.
Landlord – You finally found a donor?
The other – You were right, this street is really dangerous…
Landlord – Well, it’s on the house. What can I get you?
The other – A lemonade…
Landlord – You’re not allowed alcohol anymore…
The other – Yes, but I decided to give it up. A sacrifice I’m making… to thank fate.
Landlord – Fate?
The other – Someone died so that I could live. I must take care of their heart.
Landlord – But you don’t even know who it was…
The other – No… and I’m not sure I want to know. But hey, maybe they were a Muslim. All the more reason to stop drinking alcohol.
Landlord – So, you don’t eat ham anymore either?
The other – I’ve become vegan, it’s even simpler. And how about you? How are you doing?
Landlord – My wife just left me.
The other – Is she dead? Please don’t tell me it’s her heart beating in my chest…
Landlord – I wish that were the case. It would cost me less. Being a widower, you’re twice as rich. Being divorced, you’re twice as poor.
The other –That’s four good reasons to prefer widowhood…
Landlord – I might have to sell the café to give her share.
The other – I’m sorry…
Landlord – In the end, it’s probably better this way. Selling alcohol and tobacco… Tobacco already cost me a lung.
The other – So what are you going to do?
Landlord – I don’t know…
The other – You should try acting.
Landlord – Acting?
The other – Has no one ever told you that you look like an actor?
Landlord – No… Well, to stay behind a counter all day and deliver lines to all sorts of customers, you already have to be a bit of an actor…
The other – That’s true… I myself often go to cafés to write.
Landlord – What do you write?
The other – Plays, mostly.
Landlord – I’ve heard so many stories. There’s enough material for comedies, dramas, tragedies…
The other – You’ll have to tell me some of those stories.
A moment of silence.
Landlord – Is there still something bothering you?
The other – There were two of us waiting for a transplant. There was only one donor available. I learned that the other person died a few days after my surgery…
Landlord – Oh, I see…
The other – It seems I had a better medical profile.
Landlord – As you say… It’s fate.
The other – Yes… Maybe they were a good person.
Landlord – Or maybe a scoundrel… Who knows…
The other gets up to leave.
The other – Thanks for the lemonade… Here, take my card. I’m looking for someone like you for a small role in my next play. A landlord. It’ll be your debut on stage…
He leaves. The landlord looks at the card.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Open Hearts
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article A brand new heart est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A woman arrives, dressed as Mrs. Claus. She lights a cigarette or starts vaping. A man arrives in turn. He first sees her from behind and is a bit surprised by her Santa Claus costume. He’s even more surprised when the woman turns around and he sees that she’s Mrs. Claus.
Man – Hello…
Mrs. Claus – Hi.
Man – You…?
Mrs. Claus – I’m here for the Christmas tree.
Man – The Christmas tree…?
Mrs. Claus – The company’s Christmas tree. The one you work for, I assume.
Man – Oh yes, that’s right… The Christmas tree… I didn’t even know they still did that… With all these secularism laws…
Mrs. Claus – You don’t have any children…
Man – No time, unfortunately. Maybe in twenty or thirty years… If my company’s health insurance agrees to cover the cost of freezing my sperm until retirement. And you…?
Mrs. Claus – I work every other year for the Works Council. The rest of the year, I do theatre. But you know, theatre…
Man – Yes… One has to make a living… And don’t you have a beard?
Mrs. Claus – Would you prefer that I had a beard?
Man – No, no, you’re… You’re quite charming as you are… But why every other year? Christmas is every year. Don’t tell me the Works Council has decided to celebrate Christmas only in odd years to save money?
Mrs. Claus – It’s because of gender parity.
Man – Gender parity?
Mrs. Claus – To fight sexism, the Works Council decided that every other year, Santa Claus would be a woman.
Man – Oh, I see…
Mrs. Claus – When you think about it… There’s no reason that only male actors should expect to find a side job during the holidays.
Man – I have to admit, I had never thought of that.
Mrs. Claus – For us, with Christmas trees, store promotions, private parties… it’s a very important seasonal activity. Last year, it’s what helped me to save my job.
Man – As Mrs. Claus…
Mrs. Claus – As an actress!
Man – Of course…
The man starts vaping as well.
Man – And do you have any children?
Mrs. Claus – I have thousands…
Man – Oh really? Maybe a mishap during the thawing of your eggs?
Mrs. Claus – I’m Mrs. Claus! All children are my children.
Man – Right…
They smoke for a moment.
Man – And… is there a Santa Claus?
Mrs. Claus – Don’t tell me that at your age, you’re still asking that question?
Man – I meant, when you get home, is there a Santa Claus waiting for you at your cottage, with whom you share all the household chores according to strict gender equality rules?
Mrs. Claus – Well, no. Since you want to know everything, no one is waiting downstairs with a sleigh. As far as I’m concerned, Santa Claus doesn’t exist…
Man – It’s funny, but unlike the first time I heard this, today I tend to think it’s good news…
Mrs. Claus puts out her cigarette or puts away her vape.
Mrs. Claus – I have to go back… I need to finish decorating the tree… And then I have an hour on the train to get home…
Man – I have my car downstairs. I also have something to finish, and then I’m leaving. I can drop you off, if you want. It’s on my way.
Mrs. Claus – I haven’t even told you where I live yet.
Man – But I already know it’s on my way.
Mrs. Claus – The magic of Christmas…
They leave together. Music of choice. All participants return to the stage, as zombies, for a Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”-style choreography, revisited as a flash mob.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Mrs. Claus est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

Anthony returns. Shortly after, Clara arrives.
Clara – Are you still here?
Anthony – No one is waiting for me at home. It seems you aren’t either.
Clara – No.
Anthony – But this is the last time I’m working overtime. Just a few files to wrap up before leaving.
Clara – Leaving?
Anthony – I handed in my resignation today.
Clara – I hope it’s not because of me.
Anthony – Why would it be because of you?
Clara – To avoid working in the same company in the unlikely event that we end up having sex? In that case, it’s a shame. It really wasn’t necessary.
Anthony – Are you so sure that we’ll never sleep together?
Clara – Especially since I’m working as a temp. My assignment here ends tonight anyway…
Anthony – So, it turns out we’re both unemployed.
Clara (ironically) – Nothing stands in the way of our love anymore…
He kisses her, and she lets him.
Anthony – I’ve updated my flirting methods a bit. And I’ve stopped with jokes.
Clara – I can see that… No more joking around.
Anthony – Let’s say I’m a bit more direct.
Clara – I don’t mind.
Anthony – It’s starting to get dark. We’ll soon be able to see the stars.
Clara notices something against one of the walls of the terrace that might remain invisible.
Clara – What are those plaques with inscriptions?
Anthony – Oh, you didn’t know? It’s true you’re a temp. They’re epitaphs.
Clara – Epitaphs?
Anthony – Some companies provide heir employees with nurseries. Well, the owners of this tower offer employees a memorial garden for the ashes of the deceased.
Clara – A memorial garden…
Anthony – Or rather, a memorial terrace, if you prefer. The relatives of deceased can scatter the ashes from the top of the tower. Or if not, the boss takes care of it.
Clara – And this memorial terrace also serves as a smoking area…
Anthony – With housing prices in the city… Given how expensive real estate is in the city… And this way, our dearly departed smokers get to feel like they’re on a break.
Clara – A permanent break.
Anthony – Tobacco has certainly contributed to the final solution of the pension problem…
Clara – And the cemetery has become an extension of the office. What’s written on these epitaphs?
Anthony moves closer to read some of them.
Anthony – Let’s see… (Reading) “I’m not here, but you can leave me a message”… “Change is now”… “Tomorrow I’ll quit smoking”…
Clara – Enlightening…
Anthony – Listen to this one, it sounds like an aphorism: “Unlike particles, testicles cannot be in two places at the same time”…
They exchange a look.
Clara – It’s true that this place is very romantic, but we might not want to linger too long.
Anthony – Can I smoke one last cigarette?
Clara (decisively) – If you want to come with me, now’s the time.
Anthony – Okay. (They head towards the exit) Where do you live?
Clara – Just nearby. Do you want to have a drink at my place?
Anthony – Sure. But I warn you, I never sleep over on the first date.
Clara – There you go again with your jokes.
They leave together. A character (man or woman) arrives. They vape for a moment before addressing the audience.
Character – This is my last cigarette. It’s over. I’m quitting. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Anyway, tomorrow will be without me. I hesitated for a long time, and then I finally decided. It’s never the right time, is it? It’s not easy to find a good reason to keep going every day. But believe me, it’s even harder to stop here, without a reason. I don’t know how those people manage, leaving behind a little note. A resignation letter. What do they still hope for? A little understanding? I’m leaving in silence. What could I say to them? What could they understand? I don’t even understand myself. Life doesn’t understand me anymore. And if they answered me? What can you possibly say to the absent? I’m leaving without a word. Without notice. I’m making way. Because, of course, I’ll be replaced. So will you. Don’t kid yourself. In the crowd, no one is irreplaceable. When you’re gone, it will be someone else. Here or elsewhere. A little later or right after. It’s your life that wants this. The lives of others… (He/she stubs out the cigarette or puts away the vape.) No, if I could tell them something before I go, I’d just say: don’t worry, I’m going to blend into the crowd. I’m no longer here. I’ll be the multitude. (A pause) It’s not death. It’s just a new life beginning…
The character leaves.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Last cigarette est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A man and a woman arrive.
Gina – You don’t smoke anymore?
Alan – No, I’ve quit.
Gina – That’s good.
Alan prepares a line of cocaine and snorts it.
Alan – Instead, I’ve gone back to cocaine.
Alan exits. Gina remains. Blanca arrives.
Blanca – Hi.
Gina – Hi.
Blanca – I can’t quit smoking.
Gina – Me neither.
Blanca – It’s the job. It stresses me out, so I smoke to unwind.
Gina – It’s the job you should quit.
Blanca – Sure. But I wonder if I wouldn’t have even more trouble quitting work.
Gina – Work is a hard drug. It should be banned.
Blanca – Yes. What about you? What do you do?
Gina – Litigation… (Seeing Blanca’s puzzled look) Debt collection, that sort of thing.
Blanca – Cool. Do you like it?
Gina – Since I was a child, I’ve dreamed of harassing poor over-indebted people and extorting their last savings to pay off their credit for things they don’t need.
Blanca – I see…
Gina – And you? Do you also work to make humanity happy?
Blanca – Bank advisor… It should be illegal to call people who are salespeople “bank advisors.” We’re not here to give advice; we’re here to sell products.
Gina – Yes… My internet provider calls me every evening to check if I need anything… In fact, he’s the only one who does…
Blanca – Have you seen the number of home services companies springing up now next to electronic cigarette shops?
Gina – What are home services?
Blanca – Housekeeping, cooking, conversation…
Gina – So now, to talk to someone, you have to pay.
Blanca – Don’t worry, with me it’s free. For now.
Gina – We’re living in strange times…
Blanca – Well, I have to get back to work. Thank you; talking with you has lifted my spirits.
They leave.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Ministry of Planning est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

Two characters arrive.
Jo – Do you have news about him?
Nic – He’s dead.
Jo – Damn. So it wasn’t so benign after all. I didn’t know you could die from laugher.
Nic – Actually, he died from exhaustion. He was overcome with laughter from morning till night. And even at night. He couldn’t sleep. It was his heart that gave out. He didn’t get to enjoy his sick leave for long.
Jo – And the doctors couldn’t do anything to save him?
Nic – They tried everything to make him stop laughing. They even took him to the theatre. But the disease was already too advanced…
A faint fire alarm is heard. A third person arrives, panicked and in their underwear.
Mat – There’s a fire on the ground floor!
Jo – A fire?
Mat – I work on the first floor but I went up to the seventh for… Anyway, I decided to take refuge on the top floor. By the time the fire spreads up here, maybe they’ll come rescue us by helicopter.
Nic – You watch too much TV…
Mat – Oh my God, I left all my files in my office! Considering how badly the company is doing, with the stock price plummeting…
Jo – Well, if we all get burned alive…
Nic – If you want, we can have your company’s logo engraved on your tombstone with the inscription “Died for the financial system.”
Mat – You’re right… If we make it out of this, I swear, I won’t take all this so seriously anymore… After all, you only live once!
Jo – Except for cats, which have nine lives…
Nic glances at their phone to read the text message they just received.
Nic – I just got a text from a colleague who works on the first floor.
Mat – Have the firefighters been alerted?
Nic – It’s just a fire drill.
Mat (making the sign of the cross) – Thank God…
Jo – Yes… We can almost call it a miracle…
Mat – I need to get back right away. My boss will wonder where I’ve gone.
Mat leaves.
Nic – We’re quickly caught up by daily life…
Jo – Yes.
Nic – We should have rebelled as soon as we were in daycare.
Jo – Yes… But we kept our mouths shut.
Nic – Then it continued with school.
Jo – We realized we were already bored full-time, but we thought it would get better once we finished our studies.
Nic – And then we started working and thought it would get better when we retired.
Jo – And that’s when they abolished pensions.
They start to leave.
Nic – By the way, what do you think of the newcomer?
Jo – The newcomer?
Nic – Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed her…
They leave. A character arrives alone.
Ben – It wasn’t a fire drill. It was me. I tried to discreetly smoke a joint in the bathroom. Just like when I was in middle school. But back then, the only smoke detector was the lunch lady… Now, the lunch lady is Big Brother, with sensors everywhere. That’s where we’re at. We still have to hide to smoke. At our age.
He lights up the joint and smokes.
Ben – What a mess… I wasn’t expecting to win the lottery, you know? I don’t play. And besides, winning the lottery… It’s really just a matter of chance. Something you didn’t do anything to earn. Just a little push from fate. Just a bit of luck. Enough to make life a little easier… Not too much, so you can still think: Okay, I got a bit of luck, but I still deserved it. But luck doesn’t exist. There are no miracles. Or maybe I had my chance, and I didn’t seize it. So I smoke. To see life in pink. Piaf also took a lot of things, right? But she managed to turn “La Vie en Rose” into a hit…
Another character arrives.
Ben (offering his joint) – Want some?
Charlie – Thanks, I’ve quit. (Starts vaping) What do you do?
Ben – Oh, various things. But overall, I’d say I’m mostly in a mess. And you?
Charlie – I’m… Well, I was an accountant. My boss just caught me with his secretary in the office restrooms.
Ben – Is it prohibited by your company’s internal regulations to sleep with the boss’s secretary?
Charlie – Only if the boss is already sleeping with his secretary.
Ben – I see. Priority right. So, you’re fired.
Charlie – Without notice. I have to clear out my desk by tonight.
Ben – And what are you going to do?
Charlie – You know what? I think this firing is an opportunity for me.
Ben – Oh, really? So, you’re the positive-thinking type…
Charlie – I would never have had the courage to resign. I’m going to start my own business.
Ben – An accounting firm, then.
Charlie – When you get out of prison, you don’t dream of becoming a guard. No, I’m going to open a restaurant. I don’t know why, but I’ve always wanted to run a restaurant. Even though I don’t know how to cook.
Ben – Oh, I see. Still, it can help when you want to get into the restaurant business…
Charlie – Are you in the restaurant business?
Ben – No, IT.
Charlie – I’m going to need a chef… Do you know how to cook?
Ben – I can make pasta.
Charlie – We could open an Italian restaurant.
Ben – Where are you going to set up this restaurant?
Charlie – In the South… If you’re going to do it… You know the song. If I have to end up in poverty, it’ll be less painful in the sun.
Ben – And, when you open a restaurant, at least you’re sure you’ll never starve.
The other prepares to leave.
Charlie – Alright, I’m going to pack up all my office stuff into a box, just like in American TV shows, and then I’m leaving.
Ben – I’ll come down with you…
Charlie – To the South?
Ben – No, to the elevator, to start with.
They exit.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Died for Finance est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

Two women arrive. The second starts smoking or vaping.
Isabel – Sometimes, I swear, I feel like killing him.
Carmen – Who?
Isabel – The boss!
Carmen – Oh, right…
Isabel – You know he gets upset when I tell him I’m taking a smoking break?
Carmen – Maybe he’s concerned about your health.
Isabel – Yeah, right. Who does he think he is? Even slaves on galley ships got to take a break now and then.
Carmen – You think so?
Isabel – Well, we’re not slaves, after all!
Carmen – That’s true. (She offers her a cigarette) Want one?
Isabel – No, thanks, I quit.
Carmen – You quit smoking?
Isabel – Yes… That’s also why I’m a bit on edge, you know?
Carmen – And you still take your smoking break?
Isabel explodes.
Isabel – Oh no, not you too!
Carmen – What? What did I say?
Isabel – Just because I quit smoking doesn’t mean I’m giving up my smoking break!
Carmen – Yeah, no, I didn’t mean that.
Isabel – The smoking break is a hard-won right, damn it!
Carmen – Yeah, yeah, totally. Absolutely. Yeah.
Isabel – Oh, you’re all pissing me off!
She leaves. The other follows her.
Carmen – Wait, we can still talk…
Isabel – If this keeps up, I’ll start smoking again. Is that what you all want?
They exit.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Vested Interest est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A rooftop terrace. A man enters.
Alan – With or without filter…
Two women, one blonde and one brunette, arrive.
Alan – Blonde… or brunette.
The two women continue their conversation without paying attention to him.
Emily – So I told him, are you kidding me?
Jessica – And what did he say?
Emily – What did you expect him to say?
Jessica – Didn’t he say anything?
Emily – And what did he tell you?
Jessica – The same thing.
Emily – I can’t believe it!
Jessica – I assure you.
Emily – But it’s incredible. Did he really say that to you?
Jessica – He left me stunned.
Emily – Oh yeah, of course, no surprise there. But who does he think he is?
Jessica – You have to put him in his place now and then, obviously, because if not…
Emily – Oh no, I swear, there are times…
Alan strikes a theatrical pose to declaim in a Shakespearean style.
Alan – To smoke… or not to smoke.
Finally, the two women notice him and exchange a look of mistrust.
Alan – That is the question… Ladies… Have a good day…
Alan leaves. They smirk slightly but don’t respond. He exits.
Jessica – Who’s that? Do you know him?
Emily – I’ve seen him once or twice.
Jessica – He thinks he’s something, doesn’t he?
Emily – You can say that again.
Jessica – Does he think he’s Alain Delon or what?
Emily – Of course, he’s not Alain Delon, right?
Jessica – Do you know where he works?
Emily – I think on the fifth floor.
Jessica – On the fifth? What do they do on the fifth?
Emily – I don’t know… I suppose the same as on the sixth.
Jessica – Ah, I see. So he really thinks he’s something…
They smoke for a moment.
Emily – Well, to be honest, he’s not bad…
Jessica – I know, right.
Emily – He’s not Alain Delon, but still…
Jessica – Let’s be realistic, it’s unlikely we’ll ever see Alain Delon around here.
Emily – That’s for sure…
They start to leave.
Jessica – And you say he works on the fifth floor?
Emily – I think so.
Jessica – Isn’t Alain Delon dead?
They exit.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article With or without filter est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A rooftop terrace. Two characters, either men or women, arrive. They light up cigarettes, possibly electronic. An uncomfortable silence ensues.
Casey – Did you know him?
Jordan – Yes, well… just by sight… I saw him around here occasionally during his smoke breaks… And you?
Casey – He worked in the office right next to mine.
Jordan – Mmm…
Casey – If we had suspected anything…
Jordan – Suspected what?
Casey – Well, what was going to happen to him.
Jordan – Mmm… And what could we have done?
Casey – I don’t know… We could have tried something…
Jordan – Oh yeah? Like what, for example?
Casey – You’re right, we couldn’t have done anything.
Jordan – Exactly.
Casey – It’s fate.
Jordan – So we have nothing to regret.
A moment passes as they smoke.
Casey – His wife decided to cremate him. That’s what he wanted, it seems.
Jordan – Yes, of course…
Casey – Why? Did he mention it to you?
Jordan – He set himself on fire… One could deduce he had a certain preference for cremation.
Casey – Mmm…
Jordan – And besides, for cremation, the hardest part is already done.
Casey – Well, he didn’t set himself on fire deliberately. It was an accident.
Jordan – An accident… You’d agree that with that level of clumsiness, we could still call it a failed act, right?
Casey – It’s true that lighting a cigarette while filling the gas tank with a jerrycan… It’s suicidal.
Jordan – Especially when it happens on the side of a highway. (A moment passes) Dit it happen before or after the truck hit him?
Casey – Before what?
Jordan – Before he went up in flames like a torch.
Casey – I think it was after. He started running as if he wanted to cross the highway. The truck driver tried to swerve, but couldn’t.
Jordan – Good thing the truck didn’t catch fire too.
Casey – It was a fire truck. You could say he had some luck in his misfortune. He got first aid immediately.
Jordan – Unfortunately, it was already too late.
Casey – What an idea to cross like that, without looking. Like a madman.
Jordan – Though, he was already engulfed in flames.
Casey – Who knows what he was trying to find on the other side of the highway.
Jordan – That… we’ll never know…
Casey – Mmm… He’ll take his secret to the grave…
Jordan – But you were right earlier. If we had suspected anything, we could have done something.
Casey – Like what?
Jordan – We could have tried to convince him to quit smoking.
Casey – Cigarettes… should be banned! Do you know how many people die every year because of tobacco?
Jordan – Well, he didn’t die directly from the harmful effects of tobacco on his health…
Casey – If he hadn’t lit a match over his jerrycan after running out of gas on the highway while going to pick up his mother-in-law, he’d be here smoking a cigarette with us today.
Jordan – It’s fate, I tell you. Well, shall we go?
They are about to leave.
Casey – They found a black cat on the median of the highway. I wonder if that brought him bad luck.
Jordan – And the cat, did it survive?
Casey – The cat? We don’t know if it’s alive or dead.
Jordan – Maybe he tried to cross the lanes to save the cat…
They leave.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article A Twist of Fate est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A rooftop terrace. A man arrives (Anthony), followed closely by a woman (Clara). They exchange glances but clearly don’t know each other, and quickly look away. The man takes out an electronic cigarette. The woman does the same. The man pretends to look for something in his pockets, then approaches the woman.
Anthony – Excuse me, do you have a lighter, please?
Clara looks puzzled.
Clara – But, it’s an electronic cigarette, right?
Anthony – True, sorry about that. Now that I’ve quit smoking, I guess I’ll need to update my flirting methods a bit.
Clara – If I may say so, you should have updated them since the late ’80s. Don’t you think?
Anthony – Actually, I was just trying to make you laugh. But it seems it missed the mark.
Clara – I see. So the thing with the lighter was a joke. In that case, bravo, very funny. A little heads-up like “Attention, joke” would’ve been nice.
Anthony – I’m also good at being funny unintentionally, you know. Making people laugh comes naturally to me. Sometimes, I even understand my own jokes after I’ve made them. How long has it been since you quit…?
Clara – Making jokes?
Anthony – Smoking.
Clara – Oh no, I’ve never smoked cigarettes. Not yet, anyway. I’m just vaping to try it out.
Anthony – To try it out?
Clara – To see if I really like it.
Anthony – Ah, I see…
Clara – And if I do like it, I’ll start smoking real cigarettes, with real tobacco. Does that sound silly to you?
Anthony – Not at all.
Clara – Although, it is kind of absurd.
Anthony – So, are you pulling my leg now?
Clara – Exactly. And in my case, believe me, it’s completely intentional. I’m only funny when I decide to be.
Anthony – Well… Then we’re even. I also appreciate a woman with a sense of humour, you know? And I have to admit, at first, I was worried you might be completely humourless.
Clara – I’m relieved to hear that. I was worried I’d already disappointed you. But tell me, when you talk about a woman’s sense of humour, are you referring to her ability to laugh at your jokes, whether intentional or not?
He looks puzzled for a moment.
Anthony – How about we take a break?
Clara – I was about to suggest that. After all, that’s why we’re here, right?
Both vape separately.
Anthony – Anyway, it would never have worked out between us.
Clara – Is the break already over?
Anthony – We work at the same company…
Clara – They say one in three people meets their partner at work.
Anthony – Can you imagine going home together to our little apartment in the suburbs and asking each other how our day went – when we’ve worked in the same office all day?
Clara – We work in the same office?
Anthony – I didn’t catch your attention, fair enough. But if you haven’t noticed, maybe you need glasses.
Clara – I’m just pulling your leg again. It’s impressive that we can still surprise each other, even after working together in the same office for three months.
Anthony – You’ve been here three months?
Clara – I’d prefer to take that as one of your unintentional jokes, or it might be a bit offensive. But I agree, in the long run, it would be unbearable.
Anthony – Well, then I see only one solution.
Clara – What’s that?
Anthony – I quit.
Clara – I’m not sure I’d prefer dating an unemployed guy over an office colleague. You wouldn’t even have enough to pay the rent on your little apartment in the suburbs where you thought of inviting me to spend happy days with you.
Anthony – It’s amazing how practical women can be.
She ostentatiously blows the vapour from her cigarette in his face.
Clara – Prince Charmings are rarely listed as unemployed.
She puts away her electronic cigarette.
Anthony – We could still vape together.
Clara – Perhaps we’ll meet again another time.
Anthony – Just a reminder, we work in the same office. It’s unlikely we’ll never see each other again.
Clara – That’s a good reason not to risk sleeping together.
Clara leaves. Anthony stands puzzled for a moment. He smokes a bit more and then leaves too.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Old-School Flirting est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

What appears to be a rooftop terrace. Two characters, either men or women, arrive. They start smoking and chat while watching the wisps of smoke coming from their possibly electronic cigarettes.
Yael – Did you know that particles can be in two different places at the same time?
Alex – Particles?
Yael – Elementary particles! Photons, if you prefer. At least, that’s what quantum physics says.
Alex – Are you sure you’re not smoking something stronger than nicotine?
Yael – No, I assure you. I heard about it on the radio yesterday.
Alex – Well, it would be useful to be a particle, wouldn’t it? I could attend that meeting scheduled for five today and still pick up my daughter from school at the same time.
Yael – Imagine having the gift of ubiquity! You could be waiting in line at Tesco with your partner on a Saturday morning and, at the same time, lying in bed with your lover in a charming little hotel in the countryside.
Alex – And when you get back, the fridge would be full. We’d be completely blameless.
Yael – You wouldn’t even need an alibi.
Alex – Could we still talk about infidelity?
Yael – Adultery implies coexistence. You can’t be unfaithful to partners known before or after marriage. However, quantum physics describes a state of matter where the very notion of time is suspended.
Alex – So particles are never cheated on. It’s an interesting thought.
Yael – No more time means no more causality, and therefore, no more guilt.
Alex – This doesn’t sound very Catholic.
Yael – It seems that God doesn’t rule over the infinitely small. Quantum physics is like a generalized orgy of particles.
Alex – Unfortunately, my particles aren’t governed by the laws of quantum physics.
Yael – You’re right… We are more subject to the law of maximum annoyance.
Alex puts away his electronic cigarette.
Alex – Actually, I need to get back. I’m not sure my boss knows much about quantum physics. It’s kind of funny, but he still thinks that when I’m on a break, I’m not really working.
Yael – That just shows how little he knows. If he only knew the kind of high-level conversations we have during a smoke break.
Yael also puts away his cigarette.
Alex – It’s true that smokers are increasingly looked down upon.
Yael – That’s why I’m quitting on Monday.
Alex – I’ve heard that before.
Yael – No, seriously, I mean it this time.
Alex – So why wait until Monday?
Yael – I have to pick up my mother-in-law tonight. She’s staying with us for the weekend. And believe me, a weekend with my mother-in-law is not the best time to quit smoking.
Alex – I see…
Yael – Do you also have a mother-in-law?
Alex – One can choose not to get married, but one can’t choose not to have a mother-in-law.
Yael – Unless you marry an orphan…
Alex – Preferably one abandoned on the steps of a church, so you don’t have to visit a graveyard and lay chrysanthemums on All Saints’ Day…
Yael – That brings us back to quantum mechanics. A cat has to be either dead or alive. And it’s the same with mothers-in-law…
Alex – A cat?
Yael – Haven’t you heard of Schrödinger’s Cat?
Alex – No.
Yael – It’s a friend of Einstein who questioned the laws of quantum physics.
Alex – So, he had a mother-in-law?
Yael – I’ll explain it another day. Oh, I can’t forget to get gas for the car, or I’ll be stranded on the highway picking up my mother-in-law.
They leave.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article The Particles est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

One character is there, idle. Another one arrives and greets him.
One – Good morning.
Two – Hi.
One – I’m the author. Taking a little break.
Two – A break? Live performances are like life. There’s no pause button…
One – There isn’t even a commercial break. (He takes out a pack of cigarettes and offers it to the other.) Want one? To kill time… It’s seriously harmful, but it solves the retirement problem.
Two – Thanks. I don’t smoke.
One – Ah… Sorry. (He puts away his pack of cigarettes.) Are you unemployed?
Two – On and off.
One – And you never get bored?
Two – You know what they say…
One – The hardest part of this job is waiting.
Two – Will it be in the play?
One – What?
Two – What we’re saying right now.
One – Ah, um… I don’t know yet. It depends.
Two – On what?
One – On the interest of our conversation, I guess. Do you have something interesting to say?
Two – You’re the author.
One – Yeah.
Two – Well, that’s what you say.
One – Yeah…
Two – Do you write mostly at night?
One – No, why?
Two – You look a bit tired…
One – I go to bed early, wake up late. I mostly write in the late morning. Sometimes, when I’m inspired, I get back to it after a nap. (He looks at his watch.) Actually, it’s not that I’m bored, but I’ll have to get back to it.
Two – Yes, I think so.
One – Thanks for keeping me company. It was nice chatting with you.
The author extends his hand to the other for a handshake. The other hesitates for a moment but shakes his hand.
One – Your hand is cold.
Two – Are you really an author?
One – Why?
Two – It’s kind of meandering, isn’t it?
One – You’re not helping much… Yes, I know, I’m the author. But they say when you have a good character, you just let them talk…
Two – When you want to kill your dog, you accuse it of having rabies… And the play within a play… It’s been done a lot, hasn’t it? When an author starts talking shop… It means he has nothing left to say, right?
One – Well… (Leaving, to himself) I think I won’t keep this scene…
Black.

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A sketch from the collection Lost Times Chronicles
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

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https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Pause est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.