A bar. A table where two teenage girls are seated. Both are looking out the window toward the audience.
One – What are all those pigeons doing here?
Two (distracted) – What?
One – The pigeons! Why are they only in the city? (The other looks preoccupied with something else.) They’re not really pets. I mean, not like dogs or cats. They’re birds. They’re free, they’re not in cages, and they can fly. They could just leave.
Two – Where would they go?
One – I don’t know. To the countryside. Why don’t they just fly off to the countryside, all those pigeons?
Two – To the countryside…? There’s nothing for them to peck at in the countryside…
One – They make me feel sick, just watching them.
Two (distracted) – Yeah…
One – Look, they’re coprophiles.
Two – Huh?
One – Didn’t you see what they were eating?
Two – What?
One – Dog shit…
Two (glancing, not too interested) – Oh… right…
One – Isn’t that what they call an ecosystem?
Two – Why do they stay here eating crap when they could be eating cherries in the countryside?
One – Cherry season isn’t all year round. (Her phone rings, she answers) Yes… Yes… Yes… Okay.
She hangs up.
Two – So?
One – They haven’t posted the results yet…
Two – What if we didn’t pass?
One – I’d rather not think about it… Why would we not pass?
Two – I don’t know. Fear of winning. Like a show horse that refuses the jump at the last second. Happens to the best champions.
One – Wait, we’re not horses. And besides, high school exams aren’t a competition. It’s like the driving test. Just because a lot of people pass it doesn’t mean you’re less likely to.
Two – Yeah well, precisely. I’ve already failed the driving test twice…
One – If I fail, I’m dead. My parents would kill me. They stuck me in this Catholic school because they had a 100% success rate. It costs them a full wage every month. If I don’t pay them back…
Two – However, there have been years when it was 99%.So someone can fail, now and then. It’s rare, but it can happen.
One – I don’t know… I don’t know… Maybe the guy missed his train…
The phone rings. The first answers immediately.
One – Yes… Yes… Yes… Okay…
She hangs up, her face unreadable.
Two – Well?
One – They’ve just released the results.
Two (tense) – And then?
No longer pretending, the second bursts into joy.
One – We passed! Damn it, we passed, I’m telling you!
They both hug.
Two – You shouldn’t have strung me along like that. My heart’s beating a hundred miles an hour.
One – You mean a hundred a minute. If it were a hundred an hour, you’d be dead already.
Two – What grade did we get?
One – Wait, it’s already good news… Don’t ask for a miracle. Oh god… We’ll have to celebrate…
Two – Yes… Although, everyone has their high school diploma now…
One – Mmm… That’s when the real trouble starts.
Two – Come on… Life is beautiful! It’s summer!
They leave.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection At the Bar Counter
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article The Pigeons est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.