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	<title>Archives des Phone - La Sketchothèque</title>
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	<description>Les sketchs de Jean-Pierre Martinez</description>
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	<title>Archives des Phone - La Sketchothèque</title>
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		<title>Skull</title>
		<link>https://sketchotheque.net/en/skull/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jean-Pierre Martinez]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Jun 2025 15:41:35 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[2 characters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Absurd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couple]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dark humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Don’t panic!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Garden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paranoia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Phone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Quiproquo]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://sketchotheque.net/?p=2809</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Skull, a humorous sketch from the collection ‘Don't panic’ by Jean-Pierre Martinez.</p>
<p>L’article <a href="https://sketchotheque.net/en/skull/">Skull</a> est apparu en premier sur <a href="https://sketchotheque.net/en/accueil-english">La Sketchothèque</a>.</p>
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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em>A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez</em></h2>



<p><strong>One</strong> – Promise me you won&#8217;t panic…<br><strong>Two</strong> – What?<br><strong>One</strong> – I found a skull in the garden.<br><strong>Two</strong> – A skull? You mean…<br><strong>One</strong> – A human skull, yes.<br><strong>Two</strong> – But how…?<br><strong>One</strong> – I was digging a hole to plant those bamboos we bought at the market. And I came across a skull.<br><strong>Two</strong> – That&#8217;s incredible… Are you sure it&#8217;s human?<br><strong>One</strong> – There was a mobile phone right next to it.<br><strong>Two</strong> – So it&#8217;s not ancient remains. I mean, it&#8217;s not a Neanderthal skull. Was it a recent model?<br><strong>One</strong> – The skull?<br><strong>Two</strong> – The phone!<br><strong>One</strong> – Ah… Uh… I don&#8217;t know… It&#8217;s an iPhone. (<em>Handing the phone</em>) Here, take a look.<br><em>The other hesitates before taking the phone.</em><br><strong>Two</strong> – You picked up the phone?<br><strong>One</strong> – Would you have preferred I brought you the skull?<br><strong>Two</strong> – I don&#8217;t know… It&#8217;s a crime scene, isn&#8217;t it?<br><strong>One</strong> – A crime? You think so?<br><strong>Two</strong> – How could someone end up buried in a garden with their phone if it&#8217;s not a crime?<br><strong>One</strong> – Fair point.<br><strong>Two</strong> – And more importantly, how could someone bury a body in our garden without us noticing?<br><strong>One</strong> – We&#8217;ve only had the house for two years. It must date back to the previous owner.<br><strong>Two</strong> – Maybe it&#8217;s his wife.<br><strong>One</strong> – Why his wife?<br><strong>Two</strong> – It can&#8217;t be him, since we saw him at the notary&#8217;s office.<br><strong>One</strong> – It&#8217;s true we didn&#8217;t see his wife that day.<br><strong>Two</strong> – But that doesn&#8217;t mean he buried her in the garden…<br><strong>One</strong> – That doesn&#8217;t make sense. You don&#8217;t bury your wife in the garden and then sell the house. Sooner or later, someone would find out.<br><strong>Two</strong> – Then what?<br><strong>One</strong> – We&#8217;d need to date the body. What model of iPhone is it?<br><strong>Two</strong> – There&#8217;s a bit of dirt on it, but… It&#8217;s the latest model.<br><strong>One</strong> – No way…<br><strong>Two</strong> – That means the body was buried very recently.<br><strong>One</strong> – Damn…<br><strong>Two</strong> – We should call the police.<br><strong>One</strong> – Yeah, but we could get into trouble.<br><strong>Two</strong> – Trouble…?<br><strong>One</strong> – What if they think we did it?<br><strong>Two</strong> – Now that we&#8217;ve found the skull, we can&#8217;t just act like nothing happened.<br><strong>One</strong> – You think?<br><strong>Two</strong> – Concealing a body. Failure to report a crime. That&#8217;s serious.<br><strong>One</strong> – OK… We&#8217;ll call the police.<br><strong>Two</strong> – Go ahead.<br><strong>One</strong> – I don&#8217;t know what I did with my phone…<br><em>The phone found next to the skull starts ringing. They both freeze.</em><br><strong>Two</strong> – This can&#8217;t be happening… It&#8217;s a nightmare.<br><strong>One</strong> – Who could it be?<br><strong>Two</strong> – Who knows…<br><strong>One</strong> – The killer, maybe.<br><strong>Two</strong> – What do we do?<br><strong>One</strong> – Well, answer it…<br><strong>Two</strong> – Hello…? Yes… Yes, I&#8217;ll put him on… Your mother.<br><strong>One</strong> – Mum… Can I call you back…? OK…<br><strong>Two</strong> – So it&#8217;s your phone.<br><strong>One</strong> – It must have fallen out of my pocket when I bent down to look at the skull.<br><strong>Two</strong> – Right. And are you still sure it&#8217;s a human skull?<br><strong>One</strong> – Well… That&#8217;s what I thought when I saw the phone. But now I&#8217;m not so sure.<br><strong>Two</strong> – Let&#8217;s go take another look.<br><strong>One</strong> – OK.<br><strong>Two</strong> – I vaguely remember the notary saying he had just buried his dog.<br><strong>One</strong> – I didn&#8217;t think much of it at the time, but yeah, I remember now…<br><strong>Two</strong> – He just forgot to mention he buried it in the garden.<br><strong>One</strong> – Yeah.<br><strong>Two</strong> – Still, there&#8217;s quite a difference between a dog skull and a human skull. It&#8217;s not the same size.<br><strong>One</strong> – It must have been a big dog.<br><strong>Two</strong> – Or maybe… it&#8217;s a child&#8217;s skull…<br><strong>One</strong> – You think?<br><strong>Two</strong> – The good news is you found your phone.<br><strong>One</strong> – Yeah…<br><strong><em>Blackout</em></strong>.</p>



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<p style="padding-top:0;padding-right:0;padding-bottom:0;padding-left:0">All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.</p>



<p style="padding-top:0;padding-right:0;padding-bottom:0;padding-left:0">To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: <a href="https://sketchotheque.net/en/contact-2/">CONTACT FORM</a>.</p>



<p>A sketch from the collection <a href="https://sketchotheque.net/en/dont-panic/">Don&#8217;t panic! </a><br><a href="https://sketchotheque.net/en/dont-panic/">Link to the collection for free download (PDF)</a></p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full is-resized"><a href="https://sketchotheque.net/en/dont-panic/"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="400" height="274" src="https://sketchotheque.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/dontpanic-coverb-jeanpierremartinez.webp" alt="Don't panic cover" class="wp-image-2787" style="width:204px;height:auto" srcset="https://sketchotheque.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/dontpanic-coverb-jeanpierremartinez.webp 400w, https://sketchotheque.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/dontpanic-coverb-jeanpierremartinez-300x206.webp 300w" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" /></a></figure>



<p class="has-text-align-left">Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez&#8217;s plays on his website:<br><a href="https://jeanpierremartinez.net/en/plays/">https://jeanpierremartinez.net</a></p>



<p></p>
<p>L’article <a href="https://sketchotheque.net/en/skull/">Skull</a> est apparu en premier sur <a href="https://sketchotheque.net/en/accueil-english">La Sketchothèque</a>.</p>
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