A man in striped pyjamas is lying in bed, and he slowly awakens. As he sits up, he looks around, appearing uncertain about his surroundings. Then, the same woman enters, looking twenty years younger. She’s dressed more youthfully, with red lipstick, and displays a confident demeanour. She’s carrying a simple breakfast on a tray.
Woman – Good morning!
The man clearly struggles to wake up.
Man – Good morning…
Woman – How are you feeling?
Man – I’m fine… I think.
Woman – Here’s your breakfast.
Man – Breakfast in bed? Thanks, but… what’s the special occasion?
She doesn’t provide an immediate response but offers an indulgent smile as she takes a seat by his bedside.
Woman – I’m not sure how good the coffee is. It’s definitely not an espresso.
Man – That’s fine, I’ll still drink it… I feel like I have a hangover.
He starts to drink his coffee and eat a piece of rusk.
Woman – Sorry, I think these are unsalted rusks…
He smiles and continues chewing his rusk.
Man – You know what I was thinking?
Woman – No…
Man – I don’t think we can really change things.
Woman – Things? You mean…
Man – Or people.
Woman – Ah, I see…
Man – For instance, with my family… I knew right away it wouldn’t work.
Woman – Your family? I’m your wife, remember…
Man – No, I’m not talking about that, of course. You, that’s different… (Pause) Are you sure we’re married?
Woman – Why are you asking me that?
Man – I don’t know… I’m sleeping in a single bed…
Woman – Oh, yeah…
Man – I can’t even remember that I’m married, can you believe it? The doctor said it’s normal. I haven’t regained immediate memory.
Woman – We’ve been married for twenty years…
Man (lost in thought) – Yes, it’s strange, isn’t it? Not regaining immediate memory. That’s the last thing I heard, and it’s the only thing I remember… (Pause) I don’t know… Maybe it stems from that…
Woman – What?
Man – The need I’ve always had to mess everything up… So I wouldn’t risk getting disappointed… (He picks up the apple and looks at it.) When the worm is in the apple, it can’t end well for anyone.
Woman – Except for the worm… (He looks at her in surprise, and she quickly corrects herself.) I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that…
Man – No, you’re right, it’s true… We never think about the worm.
Woman – And you’re not an apple.
Man – I don’t know. I don’t remember anymore.
Woman – Have you taken your medication?
Man – What medication?
Woman – I’ll get you a glass of water.
She exits. He takes another bite of the apple. She returns with something changed, either in her clothing (an accessory) or her hairstyle (a wig). Nothing extravagant, but something very noticeable and slightly unusual. He seems not to notice. She hands him a glass of water as if nothing has changed.
Man – Thanks.
He takes the pills she hands him and swallows them. She stares at him.
Man – What’s wrong? What’s going on?
Woman – I need to tell you something.
Man – Okay.
Woman – It’s not easy.
Man – You’re scaring me…
Woman – It’s not about you. Well, it is, but…
Man – Go on…
Woman – Well, here it is. I’m not exactly who you think I am.
Man – What do you mean? I don’t think anything.
Woman – Still, I’m your wife.
Man – Are you saying that… you’re cheating on me?
Woman – No, it’s not that at all. Well…
Man – Well, what?
Woman – I didn’t cheat on you in the sense of… But I deceived you.
Man – When? With whom?
Woman – Not with another man, at least, so don’t worry.
Man – I wasn’t worried.
Woman – No, I mean… I deceived you, I mean I didn’t tell you the truth. I lied to you.
Man – About what?
Woman – About everything. Since forever. In fact, I’m not quite a woman…
Man – So, I’m married to a man, and I never realized it?
Woman – I’m not a man either.
Man – Alright… Somewhere in between, then.
Woman – I’d say more like neither.
Man – Well… is that why we’ve never had children, I assume?
Woman – Yes… among other things…
Man – Is there something else?
Woman – I’m not from here.
Man – Here? Where are we exactly?
Woman – I come from a different world than yours.
Man – You’re a witch… Your name is Samantha, and I’m Darrin.
Woman – Witches don’t exist. Everyone knows that.
Man – So, you’re not a witch either.
Woman – Do you remember my mother?
Man – No.
Woman – She gave birth to me after an encounter with an extraterrestrial.
Silence. He gazes at her, seemingly searching for a response.
Man – It feels like I’ve heard a similar story before.
Woman – Perhaps in a church, like the one about the Virgin Mary’s pregnancy?
Man – Yes… Or perhaps it’s just the medication…
Blackout.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Not even dead
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Recovery room est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

The first character stands at the stage’s edge, holding a suitcase, slightly leaning forward and looking down. The second character arrives in a hurry.
Two – You’re not going to jump on me, are you?
One – Uh… No… Not if I can avoid it…
Two – Sorry, I meant… you’re not thinking of jumping… over the railing?
One – Oh… Uh… No… Not if I can help it…
Two – Too bad… I mean, good for you!
An awkward silence lingers.
One – Do I appear that desperate?
Two – I don’t know… And me?
One – Yes, a bit… You seem to have come from…
Two – I just left my dentist’s office.
One – And it didn’t go well.
Two – Well… He stood me up.
One – You’re dating your dentist?
Two – No, I mean… He canceled the appointment.
One – I see… And why was that?
Two – He had a toothache.
One – Oh, really? Well, I’ve always wondered where dentists go when they have a toothache.
Two – And hairdressers, where do they get their hair done?
One – You know what they say… The shoemaker’s children always go barefoot.
Two – As a result, I always have a toothache… What about you?
One – No, my teeth are fine…Ironically, they’re the only thing going well right now.
Two – So, that’s why you were thinking about…
One – Thinking about…?
Two – You know… jumping.
One – My plan wasn’t that elaborate. I just wanted to make sure that if I took the plunge, it would be from a height that gave me a fair shot at not surviving. I mean, if the outcome is just ending up crippled…
Two – Imagine that. You’re already down, try to end it, and then you’re stuck as a paraplegic.
One – That’s even more depressing.
Two – No kidding.
One – That’s why I preferred to check.
Two – So, you were scouting, in a way.
One – Exactly.
Two – And?
One – What?
Two – Is it high enough?
One – I don’t know… What do you think?
Two – I’m not used to this…
He comes closer and examines.
One – Watch your step, though…
Two – You’re right; that would be too ridiculous.
One – So?
Two – It’s not that high… Maybe if you took a headfirst dive…
One – And it’s grass.
Two – If only it were concrete.
One – Grass is quite soft. Especially after heavy rain.
Two – We haven’t had much luck with the weather lately.
One – No, it’s really depressing.
Two – Whatever you do, make sure you get it right. There’s no second chance.
One – Excuse me?
Two – When you shoot yourself, if you miss with the first shot, you can always make up for it with the second. Just press the trigger again. But when you jump into the void…
One – That’s true.
Two – Picture climbing back up the stairs with a broken leg and a fractured skull just to jump again.
One – No way…
Two – I know that ridicule doesn’t kill, but still… there are limits…
One – Right, I’d rather go out with some dignity.
Two – Well, I’ll have to leave you. Sorry, this toothache is killing me.
One – Thanks for the advice, though.
Two – Anytime. By the way, do you know where the 24-hour pharmacy is? It’s for the toothache…
One – Yes, I think… I’ll join you… I’ll try medications instead…
Two – You’re right… The advantage of medications is that if you mess up…
One – You always get a second chance…
They exit together.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Memoirs of a Suitcase
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Desperate est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

An old man is sitting, leaning on an umbrella. An old woman approaches. She sits next to him and takes his hand. He allows it, a little surprised.
Her – A bit of calm, it feels good, doesn’t it?
Him (not contradicting) – Yes…
They enjoy this moment of serenity.
Her – Do you remember our first vacation?
Him – No…
Her – Now, for us, it’s like a vacation every day…
Him – Yes…
Her – Did you take your pills?
Him (surprised) – No…
Her (handing him a box) – Here, I brought them for you.
Him – Thank you… (He takes a pill and swallows it, then looks at the box.) It’s for the heart…
Her – Yes…
Him – Mine is more for memory…
Her – Those are my husband’s medications…
Him – Then I must not be your husband…
She looks at him offended, lets go of his hand, and stands up.
Her – You could have said that earlier!
She leaves, upset. He watches her go.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Lost Times Chronicles
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Memories est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.