Archives des Humanity - La Sketchothèque https://sketchotheque.net/en/tag/humanity/ Les sketchs de Jean-Pierre Martinez Fri, 06 Jun 2025 09:41:43 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.1 https://sketchotheque.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/cropped-sketch_carre-32x32.png Archives des Humanity - La Sketchothèque https://sketchotheque.net/en/tag/humanity/ 32 32 Terminus https://sketchotheque.net/en/terminus-2/ Thu, 05 Jun 2025 17:20:22 +0000 https://sketchotheque.net/?p=2946 Terminus, a humorous sketch from the collection ‘Ethan and Eve’ by Jean-Pierre Martinez.

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]]> Ethan and Eve.
Ethan – This is it.
Eve – We’re the last ones.
Ethan – The last evening of the last day.
Eve – How much time do we have left?
Ethan – About an hour of electricity.
Eve – Then the air conditioning will stop.
Ethan – We’ll die from the heat.
Eve – We’re already dying from the heat, aren’t we?
Ethan – But now, we’ll really die…
Eve – I’m thirsty. Is there anything left to drink?
Ethan – There’s one apple left.
She takes the apple and offers it to him.
Eve – Shall we share?
Ethan – I’ll give in to temptation…
She cuts the apple in half, and they each eat their portion in silence.
Eve – Our last meal. Just the two of us.
Ethan – The last apple, from the last tree. Before the garden is consumed by the flames of hell.
Eve – We’ll savour the taste for a few minutes. And for a moment longer, the memory of this last apple, shared between you and me.
Ethan – Until even the idea of the apple, and temptation itself, vanishes with us.
Eve – And after?
Ethan – After?
Eve – There won’t be an after…
Ethan – There’ll be an after, somewhere, but without us.
Eve – So, it’s like dying. We’re not the first.
Ethan – No. We’re the last.
Eve – The last to live.
Ethan – The last to die.
Eve – And humanity dies with us.
Ethan – And after?
Eve – There won’t even be a “before.”
Ethan – No memories.
Eve – No witnesses.
Ethan – No past, no future.
Eve – Only the present.
Ethan – The world will go on without us, unthinking.
Eve – The planets will keep turning.
Ethan – This isn’t the end of the world.
Eve – Just the end of a story. Our story.
Ethan – A story that went wrong. That started well but ended badly.
Eve – When a story ends well, it’s because another one begins.
Ethan – Ours will be the last story.
Eve – There’s nothing left to tell.
Ethan – And no one left to tell it to.
Eve – Who will be the last?
Ethan – The last?
Eve – The last to stay. The last to go. You? Me?
Ethan – Someone has to be last. The other will follow.
Eve – We were happy. We were sad.
Ethan – All that’s left is a fragmented past.
Eve – And an hour left.
Ethan – If the air conditioning holds.
Eve – And after?
Ethan – After…
Eve – After us, the flood.
Ethan – And no ark to save us or repopulate the world. After.
Eve – If there even is an after.
Ethan – We could leave a message.
Eve – The word “end.”
Ethan – A letter.
Eve – The letter Z.
Ethan – A testament.
Eve – But we’re the last, with no heirs.
Ethan – With us dies the line of men.
Eve – And of women.
Ethan – We have nothing to pass on, not even life itself.
Eve – Not even a world to be dead in.
Ethan – A testament for humanity, then. For another humanity to come.
Eve – What would we say? That we didn’t know how to stay alive?
Ethan – We have fifteen minutes left. Maybe less.
Eve – What could we possibly do?
Ethan – Talking is pointless.
Eve – Thinking won’t help.
Ethan – It’s so hot.
Eve – What’s left for us to do?
Ethan – Love? One last time…
Eve – It’s so hot. I don’t even remember your name.
Ethan – Ethan. And yours?
Eve – Eve.
Ethan – It had to be us…
Eve – Yes.
Ethan – So?
Eve – I don’t know. I no longer know. Why?
Ethan – We could have loved. Gotten married. Had a child.
Eve – We can still have a child.
Ethan – Yes.
Eve – But it wouldn’t make sense.
Ethan – I wasn’t talking about having a child. Only about…
Eve – Sorry… It’s a principle. Never on the last night.
Ethan – Principles are all we have left of being human.
Eve – To avoid becoming animals.
Ethan – Before we stop being human altogether.
Eve – And begin to be things.
Ethan and Eve prepare to leave.
Ethan – After you.
Eve – Thank you.
Ethan – We’ll leave this island and descend into the depths of the sea.
Eve – Or the sea will rise and swallow us.
Ethan – Before we slowly ascend, step by step, to the surface.
Eve – When an eternity has passed.
Ethan – Step by step, we’ll leave the kingdom of shadows.
Eve – And emerge once more from the abyss to rise into the light.
Ethan – Having forgotten everything.
Eve – One world disappears.
Ethan – Another will be born.
Eve – Will it be better than this one?
Ethan – Wherever we are, I’ll be there for you.
Eve – Whoever we are, we’ll at least be two.
Ethan – To begin…
Blackout.

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]]> Offspring https://sketchotheque.net/en/offspring/ Thu, 05 Jun 2025 15:15:34 +0000 https://sketchotheque.net/?p=2906 Offspring, a humorous sketch from the collection ‘Ethan and Eve’ by Jean-Pierre Martinez.

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]]> A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez

A place resembling a garden, perhaps Eden or a town square. Eve is there. Ethan enters. They might be dressed in Adam and Eve-style attire—or not. He circles her a little, hesitating before extending his hand.
Ethan – Hi, I’m Ethan.
She shakes his hand.
Eve – Eve.
A pause.
Ethan – Do you shag?
Eve – I’m not certain…
Ethan – You don’t know how?
Eve – That too, yes.
Ethan – Neither do I, actually. You’re the first woman I’ve ever met.
Eve – Same here… You’re the first…
Ethan – Well, not just the first woman—I mean the first person.
Eve – The first person?
Ethan – I didn’t even know it would be a woman.
Eve – Right…
Ethan – So?
Eve – I’m not sure about this…
Ethan – You’re not sure?
Eve – Do you realise what we’re about to set in motion?
Ethan – No…
Eve – It could be the beginning of something completely beyond our control.
Ethan – The beginning of…
Eve – A chain reaction.
Ethan – Like… something atomic?
Eve – It might turn into quite a story.
Ethan – What kind of story?
Eve – The story of humanity! Our child would be the start of an endless lineage.
Ethan – I was just talking about a quick shag.
Eve – Billions and billions of humans who’ll have to work to earn their bread by the sweat of their brows. Because, let’s be honest, there’s barely enough here for two.
Ethan – Exactly… It’s mostly just salad and apples.
Eve – So obviously, they’ll have to start working, all those bastards. Working the land.
Ethan – That’s true.
Eve – And then, they’ll fight each other to own that land.
Ethan – Very possible.
Eve – Generations of brats happily massacring each other over the centuries.
Ethan – Yeah…
Eve – And, of course, they’ll start shagging too. Multiplying. Proliferating more and more.
Ethan – No doubt.
Eve – And eventually destroying this little slice of paradise with their waste, their farts, their burps, and their greenhouse gases.
Ethan – When you put it like that, it’s not exactly a turn-on.
Eve – No, not at all.
Ethan – And you’re sure that…
Eve – Oh yes.
Ethan – Right…
Eve – We’d end up creating generations and generations of kids with Oedipal issues! Kids dreaming every night of killing their parents. Some might even follow through.
Ethan – Oh, right… So, what do we do?
Eve – I think I’ll take a bit more time to think about it.
Ethan – Alright, well… Let me know… (He’s about to leave.) Unless… I could be careful.
Eve – Careful… They all say that…
Ethan – All?
Eve – You don’t actually believe you’re the first, do you?
Ethan – Well, no, not exactly, but… At the same time, there’s only the two of us.
Eve – Oh, really?
Ethan – Well, yes… Ethan and Eve…
Eve – I see… So, it was you?
Ethan – Me?
Eve – Last time. It was you again…
Ethan – Looks like it.
Eve – You didn’t leave much of an impression.
Ethan – Well, maybe that’s a good thing…
Eve – Is it?
Ethan – No, I mean, at least it didn’t leave a bad impression… Considering what you were saying earlier—our first child, and all that… and the billions of offspring to follow.
Eve – True, it is a bit scary.
Ethan – Yeah.
Eve – Want an apple while we wait?
Blackout.

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A sketch from the collection Ethan and Eve
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

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