Anthony returns. Shortly after, Clara arrives.
Clara – Are you still here?
Anthony – No one is waiting for me at home. It seems you aren’t either.
Clara – No.
Anthony – But this is the last time I’m working overtime. Just a few files to wrap up before leaving.
Clara – Leaving?
Anthony – I handed in my resignation today.
Clara – I hope it’s not because of me.
Anthony – Why would it be because of you?
Clara – To avoid working in the same company in the unlikely event that we end up having sex? In that case, it’s a shame. It really wasn’t necessary.
Anthony – Are you so sure that we’ll never sleep together?
Clara – Especially since I’m working as a temp. My assignment here ends tonight anyway…
Anthony – So, it turns out we’re both unemployed.
Clara (ironically) – Nothing stands in the way of our love anymore…
He kisses her, and she lets him.
Anthony – I’ve updated my flirting methods a bit. And I’ve stopped with jokes.
Clara – I can see that… No more joking around.
Anthony – Let’s say I’m a bit more direct.
Clara – I don’t mind.
Anthony – It’s starting to get dark. We’ll soon be able to see the stars.
Clara notices something against one of the walls of the terrace that might remain invisible.
Clara – What are those plaques with inscriptions?
Anthony – Oh, you didn’t know? It’s true you’re a temp. They’re epitaphs.
Clara – Epitaphs?
Anthony – Some companies provide heir employees with nurseries. Well, the owners of this tower offer employees a memorial garden for the ashes of the deceased.
Clara – A memorial garden…
Anthony – Or rather, a memorial terrace, if you prefer. The relatives of deceased can scatter the ashes from the top of the tower. Or if not, the boss takes care of it.
Clara – And this memorial terrace also serves as a smoking area…
Anthony – With housing prices in the city… Given how expensive real estate is in the city… And this way, our dearly departed smokers get to feel like they’re on a break.
Clara – A permanent break.
Anthony – Tobacco has certainly contributed to the final solution of the pension problem…
Clara – And the cemetery has become an extension of the office. What’s written on these epitaphs?
Anthony moves closer to read some of them.
Anthony – Let’s see… (Reading) “I’m not here, but you can leave me a message”… “Change is now”… “Tomorrow I’ll quit smoking”…
Clara – Enlightening…
Anthony – Listen to this one, it sounds like an aphorism: “Unlike particles, testicles cannot be in two places at the same time”…
They exchange a look.
Clara – It’s true that this place is very romantic, but we might not want to linger too long.
Anthony – Can I smoke one last cigarette?
Clara (decisively) – If you want to come with me, now’s the time.
Anthony – Okay. (They head towards the exit) Where do you live?
Clara – Just nearby. Do you want to have a drink at my place?
Anthony – Sure. But I warn you, I never sleep over on the first date.
Clara – There you go again with your jokes.
They leave together. A character (man or woman) arrives. They vape for a moment before addressing the audience.
Character – This is my last cigarette. It’s over. I’m quitting. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Anyway, tomorrow will be without me. I hesitated for a long time, and then I finally decided. It’s never the right time, is it? It’s not easy to find a good reason to keep going every day. But believe me, it’s even harder to stop here, without a reason. I don’t know how those people manage, leaving behind a little note. A resignation letter. What do they still hope for? A little understanding? I’m leaving in silence. What could I say to them? What could they understand? I don’t even understand myself. Life doesn’t understand me anymore. And if they answered me? What can you possibly say to the absent? I’m leaving without a word. Without notice. I’m making way. Because, of course, I’ll be replaced. So will you. Don’t kid yourself. In the crowd, no one is irreplaceable. When you’re gone, it will be someone else. Here or elsewhere. A little later or right after. It’s your life that wants this. The lives of others… (He/she stubs out the cigarette or puts away the vape.) No, if I could tell them something before I go, I’d just say: don’t worry, I’m going to blend into the crowd. I’m no longer here. I’ll be the multitude. (A pause) It’s not death. It’s just a new life beginning…
The character leaves.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Last cigarette est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A man and a woman arrive.
Gina – You don’t smoke anymore?
Alan – No, I’ve quit.
Gina – That’s good.
Alan prepares a line of cocaine and snorts it.
Alan – Instead, I’ve gone back to cocaine.
Alan exits. Gina remains. Blanca arrives.
Blanca – Hi.
Gina – Hi.
Blanca – I can’t quit smoking.
Gina – Me neither.
Blanca – It’s the job. It stresses me out, so I smoke to unwind.
Gina – It’s the job you should quit.
Blanca – Sure. But I wonder if I wouldn’t have even more trouble quitting work.
Gina – Work is a hard drug. It should be banned.
Blanca – Yes. What about you? What do you do?
Gina – Litigation… (Seeing Blanca’s puzzled look) Debt collection, that sort of thing.
Blanca – Cool. Do you like it?
Gina – Since I was a child, I’ve dreamed of harassing poor over-indebted people and extorting their last savings to pay off their credit for things they don’t need.
Blanca – I see…
Gina – And you? Do you also work to make humanity happy?
Blanca – Bank advisor… It should be illegal to call people who are salespeople “bank advisors.” We’re not here to give advice; we’re here to sell products.
Gina – Yes… My internet provider calls me every evening to check if I need anything… In fact, he’s the only one who does…
Blanca – Have you seen the number of home services companies springing up now next to electronic cigarette shops?
Gina – What are home services?
Blanca – Housekeeping, cooking, conversation…
Gina – So now, to talk to someone, you have to pay.
Blanca – Don’t worry, with me it’s free. For now.
Gina – We’re living in strange times…
Blanca – Well, I have to get back to work. Thank you; talking with you has lifted my spirits.
They leave.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Nicotine
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Ministry of Planning est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.