A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
An agent (man or woman) behind a desk with a computer. A client (or customer) enters.
Client – Hello.
Agent – Good morning, sir. Welcome to Space Realty. How can I assist you?
Client – Well, I… I’m currently a tenant, and I’m considering becoming a homeowner…
Agent – Very well…
Client – We just had our second child, and we’re starting to feel a bit cramped.
Agent – I understand completely. The smaller it is, the more space it takes up, right?
Client – Yes…
Agent – Perfect… And… what kind of planet are you looking for?
Client – Not too big, because my budget is not unlimited. But still comfortable for when the children grow up.
Agent – Let me see what I can offer you. (The agent types on the keyboard and looks at the screen.) What do you think of this one? It’s not huge, but it has two moons. Ideal for a family.
Client (reading) – Needs refreshing… What does that exactly mean?
Agent – The ground temperature is a bit high…
Client – How much?
Agent – It can go up to two hundred degrees in summer… But you can always install an atmosphere conditioner.
Client – I can’t stand air conditioning…
Agent – And it’s very bright. It’s a planet very close to its star.
Client – Probably why it’s such an oven… And this one?
Agent – Ah yes, it’s very good too. The charm of the old… It really has character.
Client – Renovation required…
Agent – It comes without water and atmosphere, but you know, nowadays, those are not significant modifications. You can even get a tax deduction for some. And at this price…
Client – I would still prefer not to have any renovations.
Agent – Ready to move in, I see… I’m not very handy myself… Let me see… Ah, I think I have just what you need… It’s a new listing… Look at this…
Client – It’s very blue, isn’t it?
Agent – That’s the swimming pool… But take a closer look… The garden is very green… And you have a fridge at each pole. Well, they’re slightly defrosted now, that’s why the pool overflows a bit, but that can be easily fixed by adjusting the thermostat…
Client – It’s actually not bad…
Agent – It’s the countryside. Less than a hundred light-years from here…
Client – Where exactly is it located?
Agent – It’s a bit out of the way, it’s true. But on the other hand, it’s very quiet. It’s in the solar system…
Client – The solar system?
Agent – The Milky Way, you know?
Client – Vaguely…
Agent – I have something more central, of course, but it’s more expensive… A planet like this, with a moon on top… I won’t hide from you that the moon needs some work… But you can do that a little later when the family grows…
Client – And did you say it’s ready to move in?
Agent – There’s water, gas, solar electricity… And for the rustic touch, there are even a few active volcanoes left… Well, you might need to have them cleaned…
Client – What’s it called?
Agent – Earth.
Client – Earth?
Agent – You can always change the name if you don’t like it… It’s at number 3211 in the Milky Way.
Client – And it’s available immediately?
Agent – I think there are still some tenants who never paid the rent… If you’re interested, I can make sure they vacate the premises very quickly… After taking inventory, you can move in whenever you want!
Client – I need to discuss it with my wife, but… Yes, I think I’ll take it… I suppose you want a deposit right away…
Agent – That way, I’ll reserve it for you. You know, these kinds of properties are quite rare. So they sell very quickly…
Client – Perfect…
The client takes out a credit card, and the agent swipes it through a slot in the computer.
Agent – There you go… Welcome home!
Client – Very well, I’ll be back with my wife for the formalities…
Agent – No problem… We’re at your service.
The client exits. The agent picks up his cellphone.
Agent – You won’t believe it… I just managed to offload Earth… It’s been sitting on our hands for so long… Can you swing by to tidy up before next week? The buyer seems eager to move in, and that bunch of squatters left it in a mess… Oh, you do whatever you want, but I think a good round of insecticide should solve the problem… Yes, or homicide, if you prefer… Alright, I’m counting on you then… OK, talk to you later… (He hangs up and rubs his hands) Well, that’s done…
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Lost Times Chronicles
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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https://jeanpierremartinez.net