A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One character is already on stage. Another enters and speaks to them.
One – Vous parlez français?
The other looks offended.
Two – For heaven’s sake, I’m English…
One – That’s not the point.
Two – What is the point then?
One – Vous parlez français?
Two – Are you French?
One – No.
Two – So why are you asking if I speak French?
One – To start a conversation.
Two – In French? Why not in German as well?
One – Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Two – I’m English, I told you! English!
One – Sorry, I thought you were a polyglot.
Two – Polyglot?
One – I just wanted to practise a foreign language. For fun.
Two – Polyglot… Honestly! Keep it polite at least!
He exits. The other hesitates for a moment before addressing the audience.
One – Hablan español?
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Stage Briefs
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net