A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One character arrives, disoriented. He glances at the map in his hand and then notices something on the ground. Intrigued, he picks it up: it’s a banknote. He examines it curiously. Another character arrives. The first character addresses the second.
One – Excuse me, you wouldn’t happen to…?
Two (interrupting) – Sorry, I don’t have any change.
One – Oh no, I’m not begging… On the contrary… I wanted to ask if you happened to lose a banknote?
The other, surprised, stops and softens a bit.
Two – A banknote? It depends… How much is it?
The first character glances at the banknote.
One – Five hundred.
Two – Oh, really… Wait, let me check… (He pretends to search his pockets.) I… Well, maybe… A five-hundred-euro banknote, you said?
The other examines the banknote.
One – Yes, five hundred… Oh no, wait…
Two – It’s not a five-hundred banknote?
One – Well, it is, but it’s a five-hundred-franc banknote!
Two – Francs? You mean… the old francs?
One – Oh no, the new ones… Well… The francs from before, you know… The old francs don’t exist anymore, right?
Two – The new francs don’t exist anymore either… Let me see…
The other hands him the banknote.
Two – Oh yes, five hundred francs. A Pascal, as they used to say back then… It’s been a while since I’ve seen one… When they were in circulation, I didn’t see them often either…
One – Pascal… Wasn’t he a philosopher?
Two – I think he was a mathematician…
One – Ah yes! Pascal’s Wager!
Two – Five hundred francs…
One – How much is that in euros?
Two – About a hundred euros, right? Something like that…
One – So, it’s not yours… Do you think we can still exchange them?
Two – At the Bank of France, you mean? Oh, I don’t think so… (He hands back the banknote.) I’m not even sure the Bank of France still exists.
One – You think?
Two – Nowadays, with Europe…
One – Still, the Bank of France…
A third character arrives, seemingly looking for something. The other two look at him, intrigued.
One – Are you looking for something?
Three – Yes, I think I lost a hundred euros, you know…
Two – A hundred euros?
One – And you’re not sure? It seems to me that if I lost a hundred euros…
Three – Well, you see… I went to the ATM, that much I know… I withdrew a hundred euros, as usual… But I can’t find them… Maybe they fell out of my pocket… You haven’t found them, by any chance?
One – A hundred euros? No…
Three – Or maybe I forgot to take them…
Two – What do you mean, forgot?
Three – Before, it was my credit card that I forgot in the ATM. I would take the money and forget the card… Now, I make sure to take my card back… But sometimes, I forget to take the banknotes…
One – In that case, the machine would swallow them, right?
Three – Yes… Unless someone took them before…
Two – Or the wind carried them away.
One – It’s true, it’s windy today.
Two – The wind carries away the dead leaves…
The first character shows the banknote he found.
One – Banknotes too…
Three – Did you find my hundred euros?
One – This is what I just picked up from the ground.
He hands him the five-hundred-franc banknote.
Three – A five-hundred franc banknote…
Two – It can’t be yours.
Three – It’s still curious, you know…
One – What?
Three – Five hundred francs… that’s roughly a hundred euros, isn’t it?
Two – But come on… how could your hundred euro banknote turn into a five-hundred franc banknote?
Three – Yeah… especially since mine were two fifty-euro banknotes.
One – How do you know that? You’re not even sure you didn’t forget them in the ATM.
Three – You’re right… But hundred euro banknotes are quite rare, aren’t they?
Two – Nowadays, less rare than five-hundred franc banknotes.
One – By what miracle could two fifty-euro banknotes turn into a five-hundred franc banknote?
Two – Personally, I don’t believe in miracles… And turning two fifty-euro banknotes into an even non-exchangeable five-hundred franc banknote, that’s quite a miracle…
Three – Especially since, in reality, a hundred euros is 655 francs and 96 centimes… rounding it a bit… So, I’m losing more than 155 francs in this operation…
One – Oh yes, we’re far from the multiplication of loaves, that’s for sure…
They remain perplexed for a moment.
Two – Or maybe, it’s from the ATM…
Three – What do you mean?
Two – You say you didn’t check the banknotes. You’re not even sure you took them.
Three – So what?
Two – Maybe the ATM gave you a five-hundred franc banknote instead of two fifty-euro banknotes.
Three – You think? But that’s theft!
Two – Maybe it’s malfunctioning.
One – But if you didn’t take the banknotes, the ATM swallowed them.
Three – Who knows… Some ATMs might not swallow…
Two – Especially when you try to make them swallow banknotes that are no longer valid.
Three – But you say the ATM gave me this five-hundred franc banknote! So the bank gives me an expired banknote, and then the ATM refuses to swallow it?
Two – It’s true that it’s a bit hard to swallow…
One – Maybe it swallowed it and then spat it out.
Three – In any case, I have the unpleasant feeling that, in this story, I got screwed.
Two – It’s a bit the feeling we all have when leaving our bank, isn’t it?
Three – An ATM suddenly handing out francs… It doesn’t make sense, does it?
One – I don’t know… Do you see any other explanation?
Another perplexed silence.
One – They wouldn’t have gone back to the franc without telling us, would they?
Two – It’s true, it’s been a while since I listened to the news…
Three – Still… Going back to the franc… We may be a bit absent-minded… but we’re not talking about missing the switch to daylight saving time here…
Two – I do have another hypothesis, but it’s a bit creepy…
One – Go on…
Two – What if we took a leap into the past…
Three – A leap?
One – You mean… like in a science fiction movie? We were projected backward in time… before the euro era.
Three – Are you joking? And really, time travel… If it’s just to go back to the franc era… What a movie…
Two – I didn’t say it was a good movie… It might just be a bad nightmare…
One – It’s simple, let’s just look at the money we have in our pockets…
Three – I have nothing… I was going to the ATM, actually…
Two – I left without my wallet… I just took out the trash…
One – I have some change in my pocket…
He searches his pocket and takes out a coin.
One – Ah, here it is… A one euro coin…
Three – Phew…
Two – Let me see? (He examines it.) It’s a ten franc coin…
One – No?
The third examines the coin in turn.
Three – Oh yes, really… It looks a lot like a one euro coin… but it’s indeed a ten franc coin.
Two – I think something really unusual is happening here…
One – Let’s not panic… Maybe they gave me this ten franc coin by mistake at the bakery… It happens…
Two – Still… It’s starting to look like a set of presumptions, as they say in detective series…
A fourth character arrives.
Four – Excuse me for bothering you; I know this will sound strange, but you haven’t found a five-hundred franc banknote, by any chance?
The three others look at him suspiciously.
One – Allow me to ask you a question… What year is it?
Four – But… we’re still in 2024, I think… Until December 31, at least…
Two – So, in 2024, you’re walking around with a five-hundred franc banknote? Do you realise that?
One – It’s true, we were worried sick!
Three – For a moment, we thought we had taken a big leap backward. Like in that movie… Back to the Past…
Four – Isn’t it Back to the Future, the movie?
Two – Yes, well, that’s not the issue.
Four – I’m sorry; I… I didn’t mean to…
Two – No, but it’s a crazy world, nonetheless…
One – Here’s your five-hundred franc banknote!
Three – But what are you going to do with that?
Four – Well… I was actually going to a numismatist…
Three – A numismatist?
Four – For coins and collectible banknotes, you see…
One – I see…
Four – I found this banknote at home, in a book that belonged to my grandfather.
Two – The kind of grandfather who uses banknotes as bookmarks…
One – Well, it’s less messy than oily sardines.
Four – So, I checked online to see what it’s worth today.
Two – How much?
Four – A hundred euros! Can you believe it? Back when it was still exchangeable, it was worth only seventy-six…
Three – Oh yes, that’s… Your grandpa was quite clever, in the end.
One – Yes, that’s what we call a bet on the future… With this Pascal, your grandfather made you win about twenty-four euros.
Four – How much is twenty-four euros in francs?
Three – Approximately 157 francs and 43 centimes…
Four – Wow… Well… Thanks, anyway… Luckily, there are still honest people like you…
The remaining three watch the fourth person leave.
Three – That still doesn’t tell me where my hundred euros went in all this…
The other two look at him.
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Sidewalk Chronicles
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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