A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Two characters enter. As they pass each other, they stop.
One – Excuse me, do you have a light, please?
Two – Yes, but I won’t give it to you.
One – And why’s that, if I may ask?
Two – Because smoking is very bad for your health! Smoking kills. It’s written on cigarette packets. And between you and me, in a theatre, it could be quite dangerous too.
One – Oh no, it’s not to light a cigarette… nor to set the theatre on fire.
Two – Really?
One – It’s to set fire to a house.
Two – Why would you want to set fire to a house?
One – It’s my wife’s lover’s house.
Two – In that case… (He hands the other a box of matches.) Take the whole box. Just in case your wife has more than one lover.
One – Thank you.
Two – You’re welcome, it’s only right.
He exits. The other takes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it.
One – I really need to quit…
He exits.
Blackout.
All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.
To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.
A sketch from the collection Stage Briefs
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net