A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Two women (one young and one old) are seated at separate tables. The young one pretends to work, tapping on a calculator and jotting down numbers on a sheet of paper. The old one looks aimless and idle.
Young (with a slightly forced kindness) – So, that’s it? This is the last one…
Elderly – Yes…
Young – How does it feel?
Elderly – Like an old movie you’ve seen too many times. In the end, you don’t understand it anymore…
Young – We’ll miss you… Are you having a party?
Elderly – A party?
Young – A farewell party!
Elderly – Ah… I don’t know… Should I…? (The young one doesn’t answer and continues working.) You know what I’ll miss the most? That slightly bitter taste of morning coffee. The day begins… and by noon, it’s already over…
Young – What will you do… afterwards?
Elderly – Rest… In peace… That’s what people do, I suppose…
Young – And are you staying around here, or…?
Elderly – Where else would I go…?
A puzzled look from the young woman, interrupted by her phone ringing.
Young – Yes… No… Yes, yes… No, no…
The young one hangs up and scribbles something on a piece of paper.
Elderly – Is she coming soon?
Young – Who?
Elderly – My replacement!
Young – Ah… I think Monday…
Elderly – Then I won’t see her… Do you know her?
Young – No… (A little embarrassed) Actually, I’m the one replacing you…
Elderly (without hostility) – Ah, I see… Congratulations…! And then the rookie will replace you… Makes sense…
The phone rings again. The young one answers.
Young – Yes… No… Yes, yes… No, no…
Elderly – Would you like some coffee?
Young – Why not.
The elderly woman brings her a cup.
Elderly – I’ll leave you the coffee maker, if you like…
Young – How long have you been here?
Elderly – Too long… (A pause) And you?
Young – I’ve just arrived…
Elderly – Planning to stay?
Young (content) – I’m finishing my trial period today… Tomorrow, I’ll be on a permanent contract… It’s automatic…
Elderly – In that case… Are you happy, then?
Young – It’s fine…
They sip their coffee.
Elderly – It’s good, isn’t it? Not too strong?
Young – It’s perfect…
Elderly – Actually, we hardly know each other. Are you married?
Young – Not yet… And you?
Elderly – No…
Young – Well… I should get back to work…
Elderly – Yes, sorry. For me, it’s my last day, so I don’t have much to lose. But you. Your trial period doesn’t end until tonight.You’ll have plenty of time to do nothing once you’re permanent…
The young woman looks at her, unsure if it’s a joke. Then she gets back to work. The elderly woman hums or whistles softly. The young one glances over, visibly annoyed.
Elderly – Sorry… (The young one returns to her work.) YYou can take my spot when I’m gone. The desk’s a bit bigger, isn’t it?
Young – Yes… That’s the plan…
Elderly – Of course, silly me… And the new one will get the small desk. (The elderly woman’s idle presence distracts the young one.) Sorry, I’ll try to look busy. I should probably pack up… (She rummages through a large bag.) Well, when I say pack… I think everything will fit in a plastic bag. (She chuckles, more to herself.) Amazing, isn’t it? A whole life, and in the end… we leave so little behind. (She pauses, then looks at the young woman.) You wouldn’t happen to have a plastic bag, would you?(The young one gives her a look to indicate she doesn’t). And to think… I used to sit at your desk when I first came here. (She smiles wistfully.) Do you know what I used to dream about back then? (The young woman shakes her head.) Writing… (Pause) Not reports, not filling out forms like I’ve done all my life… I mean really writing. (She looks away.) I thought if I got myself a quiet little job, I’d have time to start. (Pause) And then… the years passed. And I never got around to it…
Young – Now you’ll have time…
Elderly – Yes. An eternity… But time for what? To tell my life story? I already told you. It would fit in a small plastic bag…
The phone rings.
Young – Yes… No…
Elderly – Maybe even in a condom…
Young – Yes, yes… No, no… (She hangs up.) You were saying…?
Elderly – Nothing…
Young – You know what I was thinking…?
Elderly (hopefully) – No…?
Young – What if I used this opportunity to ask for carpet?
Elderly (surprised) – Carpet?
Young – So we don’t disturb the people below. Hardwood floors look great, but… they creak.
Elderly – Have the neighbours downstairs complained?
Young – No… But there’s quite a bit of coming and going here…
Elderly – I’m going to live downstairs.
Young – Oh, really…?
Elderly – One’s got to live somewhere. It’s a bit dark, but… I know the neighbourhood… I won’t feel lost.
Young – And hearing us walk around up here all day… that won’t bother you?
Elderly – It’ll be a distraction… I’ll think: they’re working up there while I… can stay in bed all day…
Young – Well… No carpet, then…
The young woman returns to work.
Elderly – And your dreams?
Young – My dreams?
Elderly – You’re young. You must still have some. If you hit the jackpot, what would you do?
Young – I’d take a vacation, I guess…
Elderly – And after that?
Young – Maybe I’d start my own business.
Elderly – To…?
Young – So I wouldn’t have a boss!
Elderly – Starting a business just to avoid having a boss… Might as well not work at all… It’s simpler, isn’t it?
Young – Yes, maybe… (Phone rings) No… Yes, yes… No, no… (She hangs up) Now, where was I…
Elderly – Go…
Young – Sorry?
Elderly – Go! While you still can!
Young – Go where?
Elderly – You’re what, twenty? Do you really want to end up like me?
Young – I’ve got to make a living… What do you suggest…
Elderly (after a beat) – Nothing… You’re right…
The young woman returns to work.
Young – You know what I think?
Elderly – No…
Young – They’re going to shut the company down.
Elderly – What do you mean, shut it down?
Young – Do you even know what we manufacture here…?
Elderly – No…
Young – You worked here your whole life, and you don’t know what we produce?
Elderly – I think I knew at the beginning… But it’s changed so much. We’ve been bought out at least ten times. I didn’t even realise we still made anything… What do we make, exactly?
Young – Urns!
Elderly – Urns?
Young – The market is collapsing.
Elderly – Due to abstention…?
Young – Funeral urns!
Elderly – Ah…
Young – he baby boomer boom has passed…
Elderly – Is it that bad?
Young – They’re going to shut the company down… and open another.
Elderly – Relocating?
Young – Not even. We’ll probably keep the same building.
Elderly – And the staff?
Young – Aside from natural departures, like yours, they’ll likely just reassign everyone. Might even do some rehiring… We just need to change the company name and start making something else. Lots of options…
Elderly – So what really changes?
Young – Honestly? Not much.
The young woman returns to work. The elderly woman stays lost in thought.
Elderly – There’s really no way to stop any of it, is there…
Young – Stop what?
Elderly – I don’t know… To be honest, I think if we went on strike, no one upstairs would even notice…
Young – You’re quite unique…
Elderly – Yes… A unique old woman… Funny, isn’t it? You never hear anyone say a young person is unique. It’s normal to be unique when you’re young… It’s tolerated… Even encouraged… It’s practically hygienic. But once you’re older… it’s supposed to wear off. Red hair, nose rings… by thirty, it’s old-fashioned. So over fifty, t’s borderline suspect… You know what growing old feels like? It’s not knowing how to reinvent your life every morning, past coffee time… In the end, we die from a lack of imagination. You’re not really a nose-ring type, are you?
Young – Do you have children?
Elderly – No…
Young – Would you have liked to?
Elderly – Why?
Young – So you wouldn’t grow old alone, for example.
Elderly – I have neighbours. They’re growing old with me.
Young – Talking to you is kind of depressing…
Elderly (amused) – You think so…?
Young – It’s not that bad.
Elderly – That I’m depressing?
Young – Maybe you expect too much.
Elderly – Yes… That’s what they told me upstairs the last time I dared to ask for a raise…
Young – How long ago was that…?
Elderly – I don’t remember…
Young – There’s no one left up there… You didn’t know?
Elderly – What do you mean, no one left…?
Young – We’ve been bought out by pension funds.
Elderly – You mean… retirees?
Young – Their widows, mostly.
Elderly – So when I leave, I’ll be the boss of my own company?
Young – Pretty much, yes… See? No need to play the lottery. Just wait.
The elderly woman, devastated, remains silent.
Elderly – If I organise a farewell party, will you come?
Young – Why not? Send me a death notice…
In the distance, the wail of a siren is heard.
Elderly – It’s time… I have to go… (She starts to leave.) For years, when I heard the noon siren, I’d instinctively run to the shelters… Even though I never lived through the war. But the bombs never came. So I just went to lunch… (She turns back to the young woman one last time.) I’ll leave you my meal vouchers…
Black.
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A sketch from the collection At the Bar Counter
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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