A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
A bar. At a table sits a woman who looks like a corporate executive. A blonde girl, student-type, arrives. The woman stands up and shakes her hand.
Woman – Please, take a seat… (A little surprised) So, you’re Miss…?
Young – Ben Salah. Fatima Ben Salah…
Woman – That’s right… And… you’re blonde…
Young – Yes, I know, people often mention it. Actually, it comes from my great-grandfather… But usually, it puts employers at ease. When I manage to get to the interview, of course. Is it a problem?
Woman – Not at all…
Young – The ad said you were looking for a salesperson…?
Woman – For insurance premiums, yes. We sell funeral plans. It’s a very saturated market already. We’re recruiting someone to canvass in the suburbs.
Young – Why not a blonde?
Woman – For door-to-door in certain neighbourhoods… we figured a blonde would… well, stir up less empathy.
Young (handing her a sheet) – I’ve got a record, you know! I mean… a CV.
Woman – You have to be very persuasive to sell this kind of product. When people don’t even know how they’ll pay their rent at the end of the month, they’re not exactly thinking over coffee about taking out a 50-year loan to fund their final resting place…
Young – That’s for sure…
Woman – We started out in publishing. That wasn’t easy either. Selling a 28-volume encyclopaedia to people who, for the most part, couldn’t read.
Young – Well, there are still pictures in encyclopaedias…
Woman – Then we tried a bit of supplementary health insurance. But with the competition… No, funeral plans are still what sells best today. That’s where the future is.
Young – You’re not sure to get sick, but you’re definitely going to die. Everyone. Even the illiterate.
Woman – This isn’t somekind of testing operation, is it?
Young – Sorry…?
Woman – You didn’t dye your hair blonde just to accuse us of discrimination later on?
Young – Don’t worry. I’m a natural blonde.
Woman – We’re not racist, you know. It’s just that in this case… we were planning to have you develop a new market. What we call, in our jargon, the “halal funeral plan.” A booming sector. The logical result of the major immigration wave of the 1950s.
Young – I can do an Arabic accent.
Woman – You can?
Young – With a little refresher course…
Woman – Do you think it would work?
Young – If I wear a djellaba…
The woman reflects.
Woman – Well… You’ve convinced me. When you’re applying for a sales job, you’ve got to start by selling yourself. And believe me, selling me a blonde wasn’t easy. (Standing) Well done! I’m taking you on trial.
Young – Thank you.
Woman – And if it goes well, in three months, you’ll get a permanent plot…
Young – Do you mean a permanent contract?
Woman (rising with a satisfied smile) – It’s nice to see young people who still want to work!
They leave.
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A sketch from the collection At the Bar Counter
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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