A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Two characters sit at a table, looking sombre. Silence.
One – So, that’s another one gone.
Two – He’ll be missed.
One – It’s always the best ones who go first.
Two – Yes… (Pause) Although, in his case, I’m not sure we can really say he was one of the best…
One – True, but… a colleague is a colleague. We’re in such a tough line of work.
Two – And so underappreciated.
One – And yet, he was an endearing chap, all the same.
Two – Yes.
One – I didn’t quite get it. How exactly did he die?
Two – Work-related accident.
One – An accident?
Two – He accidentally swallowed the poison meant for one of his targets.
One – Oh no… What kind of poison?
Two – You won’t believe it, but from what I heard… it was ant poison.
One – Ants?
Two – Yep…
Pause.
One – No, he definitely wasn’t the best.
Two – You could even say he tarnished the professional image we’d like our trade to have.
One – Yes, it was time for him to stop.
Two – How many times did I tell him to switch professions? It was obvious he wasn’t cut out for this.
One – You’ve no idea the kind of blunders he pulled.
Two – I heard once, when he was supposed to kill a woman’s husband, he ended up poisoning her lover instead.
One – How did that turn out?
Two – Well, they accused the cuckolded husband of killing his rival, and he ended up in prison.
One – In a way, he still managed to get rid of her husband for her.
Two – Yes… but her lover was dead too.
One – That man was a disgrace to our profession.
Two – Really, there should be some kind of training.
One – With a diploma.
Two – And a Guild Council, to exclude the black sheep.
One – Well, at least he won’t harm anyone else.
Two – No.
Pause.
One – He was kind, though.
Two – Kind but dim.
One – Yes…
They finish their drinks.
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Killer Sketches
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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https://jeanpierremartinez.net