A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Lights up on a couple in the audience. He puts his coat back on. She takes out a cigarette.
Her (enthusiastic) – So…?
Him – Rubbish.
Her (outraged) – Rubbish?
Him – Complete rubbish.
Her – Then you clearly didn’t get it.
Him – Was there something to get?
Her – Oh, I see… (A beat) You’re getting back at me.
Him – Getting back at you?
Her – I liked it, so now you pretend you didn’t. That’s petty, isn’t it?
Him – Look, I didn’t like it, so I say I didn’t like it. I’m not going to pretend just to please you.
Her – You didn’t say you didn’t like it, you said it was rubbish. That’s not the same thing!
Him – I don’t see much of a difference…
Her – So it was rubbish, I liked it, therefore I’m rubbish.
Him – You said it, not me.
Her – It wasn’t me, it was Plato.
Him – Plato said you were rubbish?
Her – It’s called a syllogism. All women are mortal, I’m a woman, therefore I’m mortal.
Him – If Plato says so… Anyway, I thought this thing was deadly dull. (A beat) And I’m not even sure your syllogism holds up.
Her – Go on, keep digging…
Him – But what did you like about it?
Her – Everything!
Him – That’s vague.
Her – And you, what didn’t you like?
Him – Look, I’d rather not get into details. You’ll get offended again.
Her – Me? Offended? Come on, I don’t care if you didn’t like it! I liked it, that’s all. Too bad for you if you were bored…
Silence.
Him – Come on, let’s not argue about this…
Her – Sometimes I wonder what we’re doing together.
He reaches toward her.
Her – I hope next time we’ll both enjoy it…
Him – Or at least agree about it…
She gives him a questioning look.
Him – Maybe we’ll both be bored.
Her – Hmm… That’s a pretty minimalist idea of relationship harmony…
They leave.
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Him and Her
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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