A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One – Promise me you won’t panic…
Two – What?
One – I just saw a unicorn go by.
Two – Are unicorns dangerous?
One – Not that I know of.
Two – Then there’s no reason to panic.
One – Yeah… Besides, it looked pretty skittish. It bolted as soon as it saw me.
Two – Maybe it had never seen a human before. The first time must be quite a shock.
One – Right. Imagine being told your whole life that humans don’t exist… and then suddenly seeing one.
Two – It must have freaked out.
One – Still… What was that unicorn doing here? Humans and unicorns aren’t supposed to meet, are they?
Two – No, it’s weird.
One – Yeah…
Two – Yesterday, at the beach, I saw a mermaid.
One – A mermaid?
Two – Not on the beach, lying on a towel… In the water!
One – How did you know it was a mermaid if it was in the water?
Two – I was scuba diving. I was chasing a squid, and suddenly, I came face to face with a mermaid.
One – She must have been surprised.
Two – Yes. Just like your unicorn.
One – And what did she say to you?
Two – Nothing. She looked at me with wide eyes and then swam away calmly.
One – That’s crazy.
Two – Yeah. These kinds of encounters are getting more common, aren’t they?
One – Must be climate change.
Two – Yesterday, in a bar, a guy told me he saw a dragon.
One – A dragon?
Two – I’m not sure if it’s true.
One – But a fire-breathing dragon?
Two – I didn’t think to ask.
One – Honestly, what kind of world are we living in?
Two – Yeah… You know, if a centaur or a harpy walked by right now, I don’t think I’d even flinch.
One – Harpies are still less rare than mermaids, aren’t they?
A pause.
Two – So, how was your trip to Rome?
One – Great. I even saw the Pope.
Two – You met the Pope?
One – No, he didn’t grant me a private audience. I saw him passing through the crowd on Saint Peter’s Square.
Two – That’s something… And what did he look like?
One – In a robe, with a skullcap on his head and a tube in his nose. In a sort of golf cart.
Two – Ah, yes.
One – I was incredibly lucky to visit the Vatican that day. The next day, he was dead.
Two – Oh yeah, quite the timing.
One – Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay for the funeral. With low-cost flights, the tickets can’t be changed.
Two – Miracles don’t happen that often.
One – Yeah… (A pause) Look, the unicorn just went by again…
Two – Maybe it’s starting to get used to us.
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Don’t panic!
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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