A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
A couple, sitting on a couch.
Her – Did you see? The cherry tree’s in bloom.
Him – Another year has passed…
Silence.
Her – We’re happy, aren’t we…?
Him – Yes… (After a moment) We’re bored stiff, aren’t we?
Her – Together?
Him – Generally.
She thinks about it.
Her – We could buy a new couch…
Him – What would we do with the old one?
Her – Take a vacation…
Him – Go where?
Her – Throw a party…
Him – To celebrate what?
Her – The blooming of our cherry tree!
Him – They say the Japanese do that in spring. Invite friends to admire the cherry blossoms, sipping tea…
Her – We’d better hurry up. Some petals are already falling…
Him – So is some of my hair…
Her – Your hair?
Him – It starts with one, then suddenly you’re bald… (After a moment) And who would we invite?
Her – Friends!
Him – Friends…? Do we even have friends…?
Her – Probably…
Him – Anyway, people are always busy…
Her – You just have to give them notice.
Him – You invite them for a drink, and they get out their diary… Instead of having a drink, you talk about a possible date. Then they call you back to cancel and reschedule… When I want a drink, it’s now. In three weeks, I might not even be thirsty anymore. There’s no spontaneity left!
Her – Maybe because people are afraid of being bored…
Him – You’ll see. They’ll be busy. They’ll talk about finding a date. And by the time they do, all the petals will have fallen.
Her – A carpet of petals is pretty too…
Him – It’s sunny today. But what will the weather be like in a month? Along with matching calendars, you have to check the forecast. Inviting people has become more complicated than predicting an eclipse. No… Instead of gambling on having fun with a bunch of people in a month, I’d rather take the sure thing of being bored with you right now.
Her – That’s so sweet…
Him – A few days ago, my best friend left me a message. I hadn’t heard from him in months. I called him back right away to invite him for a drink. He told me he was busy, and would call to set a date. I’m still waiting. I never even found out why he called me in the first place…
Her – Maybe he was feeling a little down…
Him – I wonder if he didn’t feel even lonelier after calling… In six months, he’ll probably call again, and it’ll be the same. Is that what we call friends now? Same with the internet. They call it “friendly.” You don’t even say hello to the guy next door, but your computer lets you chat with a Chinese guy in Esperanto. Do you know many Chinese people?
Her – When I was a kid, I used to communicate at night in Morse code with my childhood neighbour, using flashlights. Even then, it didn’t work very well…
Him – People are always overbooked. What can they possibly be doing that’s so important they don’t have a single moment to grab a coffee with their best friend without scheduling it weeks in advance? I try to stay available. But no one else ever is. So I get bored… Don’t you ever get bored?
Her – With you, never…
Silence.
Him – What if we had that drink anyway?
Her – Just the two of us?
Him – Would you be available?
Her – When?
Him – Right now.
Her – Why not?
Him – I’ll get the glasses.
Her – I’ll take care of the peanuts.
The doorbell rings.
Him – Are we expecting somebody?
Her – No. Who could it be? It’s almost dinner time.
Him – People have no manners. They won’t leave you alone, not even on weekends.
Her – I’ll see who it is…
Him – I’m not here for anyone.
She turns to him.
Her – And what if it’s a friend?
He thinks about it.
Him – Tell him the Japanese cherry tree is still in bloom… and to come back when there are cherries.
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Him and Her
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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