One – Promise me you won’t panic…
Two – What?
One – I invited the neighbours over for drinks.
Two – No…? You didn’t do that?
One – I don’t know what came over me… We bumped into each other on the stairs. I didn’t know what to say. We started talking about the weather. At some point, I ran out of things to say. I was really embarrassed. And then I heard myself say: “One of these days, you must come over for drinks.”
Two – And what did they say?
One – They answered right away: “Why not Saturday evening?”
Two – Saturday evening?
One – Saturday evening…
Two – And what did you say?
One – I said… alright.
Two – No way?
One – They looked delighted.
Two – But we’ve never invited anyone over for drinks!
One – No.
Two – How are we going to manage?
One – I don’t know.
Two – How do people do it?
One – I have no idea. No one has ever invited us for drinks either.
Two – I think we got invited once, but we said we weren’t available.
One – Yeah… We panicked…
Two – Drinks… I have no idea how we’re going to handle this.
One – First, we need something to drink.
Two – Like what?
One – For drinks… People usually have whisky, I think.
Two – Whisky, you think? And where are we going to find that…?
One – And something to nibble on.
Two – Maybe olives? Once, in a café, I saw people eating olives while drinking whisky.
One – Olives… Black olives or green olives?
Two – You should have asked them which they preferred.
One – I could always call them.
Two – Do you even have their number?
One – I don’t know what came over me. I gave them our number, and they gave me theirs.
Two – You gave them our phone number?
One – A moment of madness…
Two – We’ll get through this, don’t panic.
One – At worst, we can always move out without leaving a forwarding address and change our phone number.
Two – By Saturday?
One – What day is it today?
Two – Friday.
One – That’s going to be tight…
Two – And we just moved in. Last time, we had to move out to avoid the neighbours’ party. And now you’re inviting the new neighbours over for drinks!
One – I know… I’m ashamed…
Two – Look, we’ll get through this together, okay? We’re married, after all. For better or for worse.
One – So we’re not moving out?
Two – Drinks… It can’t be that bad.
One – You think?
Two – No. I was just saying that to make you feel better.
One – I’m going to ask ChatGPT how to host drinks with friends.
Two – With friends?
One – Let’s say with next-door neighbours.
Two – Don’t forget to ask about the olives…
One – The olives…?
Two – Black or green!
One – I’ll also ask for a list of conversation topics.
Two – Good idea. Meanwhile, I’ll look up a moving company and a storage unit.
One – Yes… Just in case we really start to panic…
Blackout.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Don’t panic!
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Drinks est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

One – Promise me you won’t panic…
Two – Honestly, I can’t promise you that.
One – I just found out that the neighbour is a voyeur.
Two – Which neighbour?
One – The one across the street, there!
Two – I can’t see anything.
One – The window, over there.
Two – That’s at least a hundred metres away. How can you tell he’s watching us?
One – With a telescope.
Two – The neighbour is watching us with a telescope?
One – No, not the neighbour, me! I used a telescope. Otherwise, how do you expect me to see that he’s watching us from here?
Two – So you spied on the neighbour with a telescope to find out that he was spying on us.
One – Yeah.
Two – And how does he manage to see us from that far away?
One – With binoculars.
Two – Right… So you’re watching a voyeur with a telescope who’s watching you with binoculars.
One – Otherwise, how else could I tell he was spying on us?
Two – Let me get this straight. The first time you looked at him with the telescope, was he already watching you with the binoculars, or did that come after?
One – After, I think.
Two – Right…
One – I see what you’re getting at…
Two – Maybe when he saw the reflection from your telescope, he thought he was being watched. And since he couldn’t see anything, he went to get his binoculars.
One – In that case, I would be the voyeur.
Two – That’s a real possibility…
One – Or maybe we’re both voyeurs.
Two – Now… a voyeur watching another voyeur… Is that still voyeurism?
One – I need to stop using that telescope.
Two – Sounds like a good idea.
One – On the other hand… I won’t know if he keeps watching us.
Blackout.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Don’t panic!
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Voyeurs est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.