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The Final Journey

Jean-Pierre Martinez — Thu, 14 Aug 2025 14:35:12 +0000

A man, sitting on the bed, stands up with a suitcase in hand. The woman arrives in an extraterrestrial-like jumpsuit.
Woman – Hello, darling.
Man – But I don’t understand… Where is the…
Woman – The Reaper? I sent her to get us two coffees from the vending machine. I didn’t think it would be so easy to get rid of her. But we don’t have time to waste…
Man – So it was true? Am I really married?
Woman – As true as I am an extraterrestrial.
Man – But how is that possible?
Woman – It’s a bit of a complicated story… In fact, it’s my mother who… But I’ll tell you during the journey.
Man – What journey?
Woman – I’m going to take you to the planet I come from.
Man – And then, what’s going to happen?
Woman – Believe me, our hospitals are much more advanced than this one.
Man – And I assume there’s no risk of encountering a Romanian intern there.
Woman – None.
He looks around.
Man – And we’ll never come back here?
Woman – Don’t tell me you’ll miss this place.
Man – I was getting used to it.
Woman – If you’d prefer to wait for the Reaper to return from the Psychiatry Department with her thermos and plastic scythe. After all, you’ve already received the last rites. You can give it a try with the priest…
Man – I don’t trust him too much… Pascal’s wager… I’ve never been lucky with bets. Besides, I’ve never been lucky in general. Even the last-ditch operation failed, so the operation of the Holy Spirit…
Woman – Would you rather trust an extraterrestrial?
Man – If she looks like my wife, why not? So we’ll never come back…
Woman – Well, maybe someday. But not right away.
Man – In a very long time, you mean?
Woman – Time… That’s what you’ll have to forget… Now, we have to go; I see the other one getting impatient over there with her real plastic scythe…
Man – She’ll be disappointed for sure. I just told her I was going to pee…
Woman – She imagines that after their death, people go straight to Heaven, accompanied by their guardian angel. We didn’t want to upset her.
Man – In the end, in my case, she’s not entirely wrong. Except that my guardian angel is a Martian.
Woman – That’s why I prefer we leave before she returns. God is like Santa Claus; the day you see him is the day you stop believing in him
She reaches out her hand.
Man (hesitating) – Will my mother be there too?
Woman – I told you… It’s not paradise… Even the Virgin Mary will be there.
Man – I never thought I’d hear that one day. I’m still wondering if I haven’t gone crazy.
Woman – Life is a long therapy from which we don’t always emerge cured.
Man – It’s also a long illness from which we always come out dead. What does this operation consist of?
Woman – A brain transplant.
Man – Ah… We better make a backup then…
Woman – We’re going to transplant a Martian brain into you. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to retrieve the data you currently have in memory.
Man – Well… I hardly remembered anything anyway. And I didn’t have only good memories either. After all, it’s not that bad. No, I do not regret anything. I’m starting from scratch…
Woman – That reminds me of a song…
Man – With you… I would go to the ends of the earth… If you asked me to…
She takes his hand.
Woman – So let’s go…
They exit.
Blackout.

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To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Not even dead
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article The Final Journey est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

A Blessed Event

Jean-Pierre Martinez — Thu, 14 Aug 2025 14:04:33 +0000

A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez

Someone is lying in the bed, their face not visible. A man enters, dressed in clothing from another era and holding a bouquet of flowers (he’s the supposed father of the extraterrestrial woman seen earlier). Seeing that the woman is asleep, the man places the bouquet on the nightstand and leaves the room. The woman awakens and sits up in bed, looking at the bouquet. The man returns with a vase full of water.
Man – I didn’t want to wake you…
Woman (a bit disoriented) – Thank you for the flowers.
The man places the flowers in the vase and puts it on the nightstand.
Man – How are you feeling?
Woman – I had a bad night… In my dream, you were the one who was ill, and I came to visit you.
Man – But you’re not ill.
She looks surprised.
Woman – Then why am I in a hospital bed?
Man – But darling! This is the maternity ward. You’ve just given birth…
Woman – Ah, yes…
Man – You must still be under the influence of the anaesthesia.
Woman – Anaesthesia?
Man – It was a bit complicated; I’ll explain later. But don’t worry, everything will be fine now.
Woman – What about the baby?
Man – It’s a girl.
Woman – A girl! That’s wonderful…
Man – Well, when I say a girl…
Woman – Can I see her?
Man – It was a bit complicated. I’ll explain…
Woman – She didn’t survive the birth, did she?
Man – No, she didn’t die, don’t worry. Well, when I say don’t worry…
Woman – What’s going on? Did she suffer during delivery? Will she have lasting effects?
Man – No… She… Apparently, she won’t have any lasting effects. It’s just that…
Woman – Is she mongol?
Man – No, not that either. Although nowadays, people say ‘trisomic’ instead.
Woman – I don’t care about what people say! Is she normal or not?
Man – Yes… and no.
Woman – What do you mean, yes and no? Either you’re normal or you’re not, right?
Man – Let’s say she’s normal… for an extraterrestrial.
A pause.
Woman – I understand now…
Man – What do you mean, you understand? It doesn’t seem to surprise you…
Woman – Well, yes, of course, but… It’s coming back to me now.
Man – It’s coming back to you? What’s coming back to you? (Seeming to understand something) Are you telling me that you cheated on me with an extraterrestrial, and you’re just realizing it now?
Woman – It’s not at all what you think, I assure you.
Man – Oh, really?
Woman – A child… doesn’t necessarily require a mother and father. Think about Baby Jesus and the Virgin Mary, for instance!
Man – The Virgin Mary? Are you kidding me? My name isn’t Joseph, and I can recognize an adulterous woman when I see one.
Woman – It’s a bit more complicated than that…
Man – My wife cheated on me with an extraterrestrial. She just gave birth to an alien, and I was supposed to be the father! I can’t imagine something more complicated than that!
Woman – And are you sure she’s normal…
Man – What do you mean, normal? She looks like E.T., I’m telling you!
Woman – I’m just wondering… how can a gynaecologist know if an extraterrestrial baby is normal or not when she doesn’t even know which planet the father is from?
Man (dejected) – You’re right… Especially when the gynaecologist is from Romania. Because at least that we know for sure…
Blackout.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Not even dead
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article A Blessed Event est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.