You’re probably wondering what I’m doing. Well, I’m much like you. I’m waiting. Waiting for something to happen. What? I couldn’t tell you. If I did know… I’m waiting for things to get better. I could get up and take a walk while waiting, as you might suggest… You might do the same, actually… But no… I don’t think that would be very prudent… Just in case something interesting happens while we’re away… Alright, for the moment, nothing’s happening. But it could start up again when we least expect it. Suddenly… You know, it’s like when you’re at the movies, and the film suddenly stops because the filmstrip melted under the projector’s intense heat. The lights come on, and we’re all sit there like idiots, temporarily blinded, as if we were abruptly woken from a dream. We gradually regain our composure and settle into another round of waiting. Hoping that the film will start again as soon as possible. That we’ll be plunged back into our artificial coma by rewinding the reel. And then we realise that we have absolutely no idea how long the breakdown will last. Maybe it’s more serious than that, and the screening will be canceled. In fact, we’re not even sure if there’s anyone in the projection booth to fix things. What if the projectionist left right after starting the film? After a while, one among us, the bravest, gets up to see what’s going on. Drawing the admiring gaze of those who opt to remain in their seats, waiting anxiously for someone to take the lead. But the hero doesn’t know where to go to rescue his fellow unfortunate moviegoers. A projection booth is very mysterious. There’s no window. Just a small opening for the projector’s light to shine through. We don’t even know where the hidden entrance to this forbidden citadel is. So the guy leaves the screening room, goes back to the cinema entrance, and asks the cashier on duty what’s happening, who obviously has no idea. She doesn’t know where the projectionist is either. Apparently, no one has ever seen him. But she says she’ll find out. The guy returns to the screening room after this act of bravery, ready to share his report and anticipating applause for his daring initiative, despite the very uncertain outcome of his efforts. However, when he opens the door, he realises that the screening room has once again plunged into darkness. The film has already restarted! Without him! He has been taken in. He thinks he would have been better off patiently waiting with the others for things to sort themselves out. With all this, he missed a part of the film. Just a few seconds, no more. But it might have been a key scene. Imagine missing the sled scene in ‘Citizen Kane’! And let’s not forget that these missed frames are in addition to those probably sacrificed by the projectionist in his hurried attempt to repair the melted film by welding its two ends together. “Now, I’m going to be permanently lost,” thinks the returning moviegoer, as his eyes haven’t yet readjusted to the darkness. Fumbling his way back to his seat, he whispers to his neighbour, asking for a summary of what happened during his absence. The girl is about to reluctantly respond, fearing she might miss an essential line while catching him up, when a voice behind them angrily shouts, “Shh!” Relieved, she shoots an apologetic look at the troublemaker before turning her beautiful, fascinated eyes back to the screen, all while luxuriously plunging her hand into her popcorn bag. The show must go on! But the poor zombie, he no longer understands the movie… So I prefer to wait. Do you know how much a savings account pays these days…? Three percent per year… You put your minimum wage into the savings account, get yourself frozen for five hundred years. They microwave you, and you’re a multimillionaire. Now that’s worth waiting for, isn’t it?

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Like a fish in the air
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Darkened Theatre est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

Lights up on a couple in the audience. He puts his coat back on. She takes out a cigarette.
Her (enthusiastic) – So…?
Him – Rubbish.
Her (outraged) – Rubbish?
Him – Complete rubbish.
Her – Then you clearly didn’t get it.
Him – Was there something to get?
Her – Oh, I see… (A beat) You’re getting back at me.
Him – Getting back at you?
Her – I liked it, so now you pretend you didn’t. That’s petty, isn’t it?
Him – Look, I didn’t like it, so I say I didn’t like it. I’m not going to pretend just to please you.
Her – You didn’t say you didn’t like it, you said it was rubbish. That’s not the same thing!
Him – I don’t see much of a difference…
Her – So it was rubbish, I liked it, therefore I’m rubbish.
Him – You said it, not me.
Her – It wasn’t me, it was Plato.
Him – Plato said you were rubbish?
Her – It’s called a syllogism. All women are mortal, I’m a woman, therefore I’m mortal.
Him – If Plato says so… Anyway, I thought this thing was deadly dull. (A beat) And I’m not even sure your syllogism holds up.
Her – Go on, keep digging…
Him – But what did you like about it?
Her – Everything!
Him – That’s vague.
Her – And you, what didn’t you like?
Him – Look, I’d rather not get into details. You’ll get offended again.
Her – Me? Offended? Come on, I don’t care if you didn’t like it! I liked it, that’s all. Too bad for you if you were bored…
Silence.
Him – Come on, let’s not argue about this…
Her – Sometimes I wonder what we’re doing together.
He reaches toward her.
Her – I hope next time we’ll both enjoy it…
Him – Or at least agree about it…
She gives him a questioning look.
Him – Maybe we’ll both be bored.
Her – Hmm… That’s a pretty minimalist idea of relationship harmony…
They leave.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Him and Her
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Emergency exit est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.