One – Promise me you won’t panic…
Two – What?
One – We’ve just lost an engine.
Two – No…? How many engines does this plane have?
One – Two.
Two – And can we fly on just one?
One – Yes… As long as that one doesn’t fail too.
Two – And what are the chances of both failing at the same time?
One – About the same as winning the lottery, I’d say…
Two – Right.
One – See? No reason to panic.
Two – You think so?
One – Do you play the lottery?
Two – Yes.
One – Have you ever won?
Two – No.
One – There you go… No reason to panic.
Two – OK… So, what do we do now?
One – Well… We turn around and head back to land.
Two – Have you ever landed this thing on one engine?
One – No.
Two – And to think it’s my first time on a plane.
One – Yes…
Two – Some first flight… I just hope I don’t get the last rites thrown in for the same price.
A pause.
One – Promise me you won’t panic?
Two – What now?
One – We’ve just lost the second engine.
Two – No…? Can a plane like this fly without any engines?
One – It can glide.
Two – So we can still land, even without engines…
One – If the airfield isn’t too far away, yes. But…
Two – But…?
One – We’re too far to glide all the way there.
Two – I don’t know… Maybe we could land on a road or a field. Like in the movies…
One – We’ve been flying over mountains for the past fifteen minutes.
Two – I’m never getting on a plane again.
One – Unfortunately, that might indeed be a serious possibility…
Two – So what do we do?
One – There’s a road, but it’s very winding. And packed. It’s the weekend, people are heading to the ski resorts.
Two – Do we still have a chance?
One – It’s not obvious, but… Do you trust me?
Two – Do I have a choice?
One – No.
Two – OK… Is there anything I can do?
One – Do you have a signal?
Two – You want me to call for help?
One – Unfortunately, it wouldn’t make any difference.
Two – Then why are you asking if I have a signal?
One – In case you want to make one last phone call.
Two – One last phone call? To whom? My lawyer?
One – I don’t know… your wife.
Two – What would I say to her?
One – That you love her, for instance.
Two – We’re in the middle of a divorce. I found out she was having an affair with my best friend.
One – Call your best friend, then.
Two – To tell him I love him?
One – To insult him.
Two – What’s the point?
One – You’re right. Better to keep your dignity to the end.
Two – Yes…
One – You could always call him to say you forgive him.
A pause.
Two – That’s strange. I still hear a kind of humming on both sides of the plane… What is it?
One – The two engines.
Two – But then…
One – What day is it today?
Two – The 31st of March, why?
One – The 31st of March… are you sure?
Two – Yes. It’s my birthday. I treated myself to a first flight.
One – The 31st of March…? Oh, damn… Sorry, I thought it was April Fool’s Day…
Blackout.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection Don’t panic!
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article First Flight est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.