Vincent and Fred are sitting at a table, having a coffee.
Vincent – Brilliant… So you’re leaving in three weeks?
Fred – May 1st, yes. On Labour Day, I’m off on holiday for a year. Or more, we’ll see…
Vincent – It won’t be quite a holiday, will it?
Fred – When I need cash, I’ll work a bit as a cook or a waiter. It’s really easy there. There’s work for everyone. And the French are highly regarded. Especially in hospitality. Not to mention the women, of course…
Vincent – The myth of the French lover… Lucky you… You’re going to have a blast.
Fred – You should come with me.
Vincent – I can’t, unfortunately. I’m starting my internship in September at a bank in Paris. And if I don’t want to spend three hours commuting every day, I need to work this summer to pay for a small flat.
Fred – Oh right.
Vincent – It’s definitely less glamorous.
Fred – For sure…
Vincent – Have you talked to Max about it?
Fred – Yeah. I saw him yesterday.
Vincent – How’s he doing?
Fred – You know him… With Max, things are never really okay.
Vincent – He’s taking his exam in two months to become a teacher; he’s a bit on edge.
Fred – We hardly see each other anymore.
Vincent – He’s working a lot, I think.
Fred – Or maybe he’s upset with me. I don’t know why.
Vincent – I think he’s annoyed with both of us for quitting the band. And now you’re leaving. So The Rebels are done?
Fred – They were already finished, weren’t they?
Vincent – We have to face it; we’d never have become stars.
Fred – Not rock stars, at any rate…
Vincent – Anyway, I sold my drum kit to pay for the deposit on my flat.
Fred – And I sold my guitar to buy my plane ticket.
A pause.
Vincent – The Rebels, what a crappy name. I don’t remember who came up with it back then.
Fred – That was me.
Vincent – Oh yeah, that’s right…
Fred – When I was boarding school, in this catholic institution, it was like a real prison. We could only leave the school grounds on weekends. And even then, only if we hadn’t been punished. And of course, it wasn’t co-ed.
Vincent – Oh bloody hell…
Fred – Can you imagine? At an age when all you’re thinking about is losing your virginity, spending the whole week with just guys, day and night. I don’t know how I didn’t end up gay.
Vincent – And didn’t you try to escape?
Fred – One day, I organised a strike to protest our detention conditions. Everyone seemed up for it. But in the end, out of four hundred students, only three of us refused to go back to class.
Vincent – The Rebels…
Fred – There was a guy in my class who claimed to be a communist. The very diligent type, you know, but very politically committed. I asked him why he wouldn’t join our protest movement. Do you know what he said?
Vincent – No.
Fred – He said: It’s a rebellion, not a revolution…
Vincent – Oh right…
Fred – I don’t know where he stands now with his revolution. I’m just trying to stay a rebel.
Vincent – And how did your rebellion end?
Fred – I hoped to get expelled, but no. Not at all. We got detention for four consecutive weekends.
Vincent – Oh yes, I remember. We didn’t see you for a good while.
Fred – I swore to myself that after my A-levels, I wouldn’t let anyone lock me up anywhere again. Especially not in an office…
Vincent – Yeah.
Fred – Aren’t you freaked out about the prospect of spending your life in a bank?
Vincent – What can I do… I’m not as good-looking as you. If I want to meet women, I can’t rely just on my looks. So I need to make a lot of money…
Fred – I’m going to enjoy it while I’m still young and good-looking, then… After that… I’ll bet everything on humour.
Silence.
Vincent – Will you still come to Normandy for my birthday? It’s in fifteen days.
Fred – Of course.
Silence.
Vincent – Are you sure you’re okay?
Fred – Perfectly fine.
Vincent – It’s what you wanted, right? To leave here. To see the world.
Fred – Yeah… In three weeks, it’s America for me! I’ll send you postcards, I promise.
Vincent – And then we’ll see each other again.
Fred – Of course…
They exchange a look that says it all.
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection The Rebels
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Departure est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

Max is there with a bass guitar that he is tuning. Fred arrives with a guitar.
Max – Have you had a look at the room?
Fred – Yeah…
Max – It’s packed to bursting, can you believe it! Apparently, some people are even trying to get in through the emergency exit.
Fred – Oh really?
Max – You won’t believe it, but a girl asked me for an autograph…
Fred – Did you give her your number?
Max – Not even…
Fred – She wasn’t very attractive…?
Max – She was fourteen…
Fred – Right…
Max – Can you hear that?
Fred (distracted) – What?
Max – They’re getting restless. They’re already applauding. Our audience is calling for us!
Fred – Oh, right…
Max – Fred? I feel like something’s happening here. You’ll see, mate. In a few years, when we release our third album and do our first Olympia, we’ll look back at this concert and think that’s where it all began.
Fred seems to be looking for something.
Fred (worried) – Yeah…
Max – Are you alright? You’re not too high, are you?
Fred – No, no… Well, yes, but…
Max – What’s going on?
Fred – I’ve broken a string.
Max – You’ve got plenty of time to change it. And if we keep them waiting a bit… It’ll build up the tension.
Fred – The problem is… I don’t have a spare string.
Max – You don’t have any spare strings?
Fred – I have some, but… not that one.
Max – What do you mean, not that one?
Fred – The B string. I don’t have the B string.
Max – Are you kidding?
Fred – No…
Max – Bloody hell, Fred…
Fred – Don’t you have one?
Max – I do. I’ve got two spare sets of strings for my bass. Though bass strings don’t break often, you know.
Fred – Sorry…
Max – Isn’t there a music shop around here?
Fred – It’s Sunday.
Max – Damn… So what do we do?
Fred – Well… I won’t play with that string, that’s all.
Max – Brilliant…
Fred – I’ve still got five left.
Max – Provided you don’t break another one by then…
Fred – What do you expect? It’s my destroyer side. Jimi Hendrix used to smash his guitar on stage…
Max – Yeah, but he waited until the end of the concert. And I’m sure he always had a spare set of strings. Why don’t you have any spare strings?
Fred – I didn’t have the money.
Max – That’s it… But for buying weed, you always have money.
Fred moves towards him threateningly.
Fred – Hey, what’s this, are you playing my mother or something?
Max – You’re treating me like your mother, Fred. So it’s me who should have spare strings for your crappy guitar, is it? I’m fed up with playing with a bunch of losers.
Fred – No one’s holding you back, Max. You’re pissing everyone off. We’re here to have a good time, not to hear your moral lectures…
Fred walks off. Vincent arrives.
Vincent – Have you seen the crowd in the room?
Max – Yeah.
Vincent – Since we’ve had a female singer, we’ve been getting a lot more attention, have you noticed?
Max – She sings out of tune.
Vincent – Apparently, the guys aren’t just coming to listen to her… You look down… Is there a problem?
Max – Fred’s broken a string.
Vincent – And?
Max – He doesn’t have a spare.
Vincent – Oh shit… (He pulls out a joint, lights it, takes a puff, and offers it to Max.) Want some? It’s Lebanese…
Max – No thanks, I’d prefer to stay clear-headed…
Vincent (laughing) – Clear-headed?
Max – So you’re high too.
Vincent – Completely. Well, shall we go? I think our audience is calling for us…
Max – Damn it, Vincent, don’t you get it! Fred already plays like a beginner with six strings, and with five… The crowd will slaughter us…
Vincent – The crowd? Don’t worry. They’re our mates! And they’re even more stoned than we are…
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection The Rebels
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Disagreement est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.

He is standing, arms crossed, in front of an imaginary door. She arrives.
Cecilia – Excuse me, is this the artists’ entrance?
Tom – Affirmative.
Cecilia – So this is where they’ll come out.
Tom – Who?
Cecilia – The band! The Rebels!
Tom – Oh, I don’t think so.
Cecilia – But you just told me it was here.
Tom – I said it’s the artists’ entrance.
Cecilia – And so?
Tom – I didn’t say it was the artists’ exit.
Cecilia – Because there’s also an artists’ exit?
Tom – I don’t know, miss. I was just told to keep an eye on this door; that’s all I’m doing…
Cecilia – But look, next to the “artists’ entrance” sign, it also says “emergency exit”.
Tom – Oh, yes…
Cecilia – That means they could also leave through here.
Tom – If there’s a fire, yes.
Cecilia – Do you think they’ll only leave through here if there’s a fire?
Tom – A fire or…
Cecilia – If there’s an emergency exit, there might also be an emergency entrance.
Tom – For what?
Cecilia – I don’t know… In case there’s a fire outside.
Tom – Maybe.
Cecilia – So you don’t know where they’ll come out?
Tom – No.
Cecilia – You don’t seem to know much. For a security guard…
Tom – I’m just doing my job.
Cecilia – And what is your job?
Tom – To monitor the artists’ entrance.
Cecilia – For?
Tom – To ensure no one comes in.
Cecilia – Except for the artists, then.
Tom – Except for the artists.
Cecilia – Well, I don’t want to go in. I just want to ask them for an autograph when they come out.
Tom – To come out, they would first need to come in.
Cecilia – Oh, they haven’t come in yet?
Tom – No.
Cecilia – You could have told me that earlier.
Tom – You didn’t ask.
Cecilia – Alright…
Tom – In that case, you can still ask them when they come in.
Cecilia – Ask them what?
Tom – Ask them where they’re going to come out.
Cecilia – Wouldn’t it be simpler if I asked them for an autograph directly when they come in?
Tom – That’s up to you.
Cecilia – And if you let me in?
Tom – For what?
Cecilia – To wait for them inside. I have a feeling it’s going to rain…
Tom – Ah, that’s not going to be possible, miss. Unless…
Cecilia – Unless…?
Tom – Unless you leave me your phone number.
Cecilia – You’ve got some nerve…
Tom – No, I’m just kidding.
Cecilia – What?
Tom – Of course they’re already here; the concert starts in a quarter of an hour.
Cecilia – Alright… You’re quite the comedian. For a security guard…
Tom – Probably because I’m not a security guard.
Cecilia – Who are you then?
Tom – I’m here for the concert, like you. I stepped out for a smoke while I was waiting for it to start. It’s a local band, you know. It’s not the Rolling Stones. Do you really think they can afford a security guard?
Cecilia – I don’t know…
Tom – Anyway, you’re already a fan. In fact, you’re the only one. They’ll be pleased.
Cecilia – I was just pulling your leg as well. Actually, I was looking for the artists’ entrance to get in without paying. Since I mistook you for a security guard…
Tom – I see…
Cecilia – Do you think it’s possible to get in through there?
Tom – Probably. I managed to get out.
Cecilia – Well, I’ll go then…
Tom – But I still don’t understand why you’re so keen on coming in through the emergency exit.
Cecilia – I told you. To avoid paying.
Tom – Paying? The concert is free. Do you really think anyone would pay to listen to The Rebels?
She looks taken aback.
Cecilia – You’re right, I must have confused them with another band…
Tom – Leave me your number. When there’s a band worth seeing, I’ll give you a call…
Cecilia – Sure…
He lights a joint and offers it to her.
Tom – Want some? It’s Lebanese.
She takes the joint, takes a puff, and grimaces.
Cecilia – It’s from Lebanon?
Tom – Well, the guy who sold it to me was Lebanese. At least, that’s what he said…
Black.

All the texts available on this website can be downloaded for free. However, performance rights, which constitute fair compensation for the author’s work, are a legal obligation. Whether you are an amateur or a professional, you must request authorization to perform the play and pay the corresponding royalties for the production.

To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorization to represent one of his works: CONTACT FORM.

A sketch from the collection The Rebels
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

L’article Emergency Exit est apparu en premier sur La Sketchothèque.