A Satirical Comedy Sketch About Climate Change by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Lights up.
One character is there, the same as before or not, male or female. Another arrives.
Two – It’s so hot today…
One – Oh no! Don’t you start as well.
Two – What?
One – It’s summer, it’s hot. That’s normal. No need to make a big deal out of it.
Two – Yes, but still…
One – They go on about it morning, noon and night on the news. It’s hot. It’s a heatwave. Red alert. Remember to stay hydrated. Don’t leave your mother-in-law sitting in a car in full sun…
Two – Well yes, but… It really is hot, though.
One – It’s hot, it’s hot… No hotter than usual. I’m telling you, they take us for fools.
Two – Apparently today we broke more records again.
One – Records… What nonsense… It’s not the Olympic Games, is it?
Two – True, heat records are about the only records we still manage to break in this bloody country.
One – I’m telling you, it’s all rubbish. It’s because of the greens!
Two – It’s because of the greens that it’s hot?
One – In any case, it’s because of the greens that we have to hear about the heatwave all day long!
Two – It’s true, they’re a pain in the neck, those greens, but still…
One – If it’s hot, it gives them grist to their mill, you see?
Two – To their mill?
One – To their wind turbines, if you prefer.
Two – Do wind turbines run on water?
One – Yes, well, I know what I mean…
Two – You’re the only one who does…
One – I’m not going to draw you a picture. It’s hot, vote for me! You’ll be less hot.
Two – And so?
One – Do you really think that if we elected a Green president, it would be less hot in summer?
Two – I don’t know… Maybe. We’ve never tried the greens.
One – It’s hot, all right… You buy air conditioning, and that’s that.
Two – Air conditioning… It’s not cheap, you know. And it’s not very green, is it?
One – Air conditioning isn’t very green? I’d better leave, then. I might get angry.
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A sketch from the collection Apocalypse
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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