A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One – It’s not very warm this morning, is it?
Two – Yes. You could even say we’re freezing our asses off.
One – Look, I’ve got goose bumps.
Two – Me too.
One – At the same time, that’s normal. We’re hens.
Two – That’s true.
One – Still, I wonder if I haven’t caught a chill.
Two – Free-range, as they say… It’s nice, but… when it’s minus five outside…
One – You almost end up missing battery cages.
Two – Who do you think passed that virus on to you?
One – Yesterday a flock of migratory birds passed through, remember? They came and pecked at our grain.
Two – Those migrants really think they can do whatever they like.
One – Yes… You never know where they come from…
Two – And they’re full of diseases.
One – And you, how are you feeling?
Two – All right for now. But don’t come too close, just in case.
One – Oh, anyway, sick or not, if it’s bird flu…
Two – What?
One – They’ll cull the whole flock, won’t they?
Two – Yeah… (Pause.) Do you actually say “flock” for hens?
One – What else would you say?
Two – I don’t know.
One – They’ll cull the whole flock, you’ll see.
Two – And meanwhile, the migrants will already be sunning themselves, getting their feathers nicely browned.
One – They won’t catch a cold, that’s for sure…
Two – Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn’t rather have been a wild bird.
One – You always have to exaggerate.
Two – Yeah…
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Of Animals and Men
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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https://jeanpierremartinez.net