A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One – If aliens landed on Earth right now, what would you say to them?
Two – I’d say… go straight back home. There’s nothing here we could teach you. We had everything we needed to be happy. And yet a tiny minority of privileged people has turned everyone else’s lives into hell.
One – Oh right…
Two – And if you decide to stay and colonise us, don’t worry. Nothing you could possibly do to human beings hasn’t already been done by other human beings.
One – OK…
Two – And if you want to destroy the Earth and wipe out Humanity, don’t worry about that either. In any case, before long we’d have achieved the same result all by ourselves, without any outside help.
One – So that’s what you’d tell them…?
Two – Yes… And you?
One – I don’t know… I’m looking for mitigating circumstances…
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Of Animals and Men
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net