A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
He is standing, arms crossed, in front of an imaginary door. She arrives.
Cecilia – Excuse me, is this the artists’ entrance?
Tom – Affirmative.
Cecilia – So this is where they’ll come out.
Tom – Who?
Cecilia – The band! The Rebels!
Tom – Oh, I don’t think so.
Cecilia – But you just told me it was here.
Tom – I said it’s the artists’ entrance.
Cecilia – And so?
Tom – I didn’t say it was the artists’ exit.
Cecilia – Because there’s also an artists’ exit?
Tom – I don’t know, miss. I was just told to keep an eye on this door; that’s all I’m doing…
Cecilia – But look, next to the “artists’ entrance” sign, it also says “emergency exit”.
Tom – Oh, yes…
Cecilia – That means they could also leave through here.
Tom – If there’s a fire, yes.
Cecilia – Do you think they’ll only leave through here if there’s a fire?
Tom – A fire or…
Cecilia – If there’s an emergency exit, there might also be an emergency entrance.
Tom – For what?
Cecilia – I don’t know… In case there’s a fire outside.
Tom – Maybe.
Cecilia – So you don’t know where they’ll come out?
Tom – No.
Cecilia – You don’t seem to know much. For a security guard…
Tom – I’m just doing my job.
Cecilia – And what is your job?
Tom – To monitor the artists’ entrance.
Cecilia – For?
Tom – To ensure no one comes in.
Cecilia – Except for the artists, then.
Tom – Except for the artists.
Cecilia – Well, I don’t want to go in. I just want to ask them for an autograph when they come out.
Tom – To come out, they would first need to come in.
Cecilia – Oh, they haven’t come in yet?
Tom – No.
Cecilia – You could have told me that earlier.
Tom – You didn’t ask.
Cecilia – Alright…
Tom – In that case, you can still ask them when they come in.
Cecilia – Ask them what?
Tom – Ask them where they’re going to come out.
Cecilia – Wouldn’t it be simpler if I asked them for an autograph directly when they come in?
Tom – That’s up to you.
Cecilia – And if you let me in?
Tom – For what?
Cecilia – To wait for them inside. I have a feeling it’s going to rain…
Tom – Ah, that’s not going to be possible, miss. Unless…
Cecilia – Unless…?
Tom – Unless you leave me your phone number.
Cecilia – You’ve got some nerve…
Tom – No, I’m just kidding.
Cecilia – What?
Tom – Of course they’re already here; the concert starts in a quarter of an hour.
Cecilia – Alright… You’re quite the comedian. For a security guard…
Tom – Probably because I’m not a security guard.
Cecilia – Who are you then?
Tom – I’m here for the concert, like you. I stepped out for a smoke while I was waiting for it to start. It’s a local band, you know. It’s not the Rolling Stones. Do you really think they can afford a security guard?
Cecilia – I don’t know…
Tom – Anyway, you’re already a fan. In fact, you’re the only one. They’ll be pleased.
Cecilia – I was just pulling your leg as well. Actually, I was looking for the artists’ entrance to get in without paying. Since I mistook you for a security guard…
Tom – I see…
Cecilia – Do you think it’s possible to get in through there?
Tom – Probably. I managed to get out.
Cecilia – Well, I’ll go then…
Tom – But I still don’t understand why you’re so keen on coming in through the emergency exit.
Cecilia – I told you. To avoid paying.
Tom – Paying? The concert is free. Do you really think anyone would pay to listen to The Rebels?
She looks taken aback.
Cecilia – You’re right, I must have confused them with another band…
Tom – Leave me your number. When there’s a band worth seeing, I’ll give you a call…
Cecilia – Sure…
He lights a joint and offers it to her.
Tom – Want some? It’s Lebanese.
She takes the joint, takes a puff, and grimaces.
Cecilia – It’s from Lebanon?
Tom – Well, the guy who sold it to me was Lebanese. At least, that’s what he said…
Black.
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A sketch from the collection The Rebels
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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