A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
They are sitting. He is reading, and she is knitting. Or the other way around.
Her – It’s nice to have a bit of peace and quiet.
Him – Yes.
Her – With all the commotion out there.
Him – Yes.
Her – We’re so much better off at home.
Him – Yes.
Her – I can’t even remember when it was…
Him – When what?
Her – The last time I went out!
Him – Oh, yes. Outside…
Her – And you?
Him – Me?
Her – When was it?
Him – The last time you went outside?
Her – The last time you went outside!
Him – Oh, me! Outside… I don’t know… It must have been… To take the dog out…
Her – The dog? He’s dead.
Him – No?
Her – That was years ago.
Him – Oh, right… I was wondering why the dog didn’t pee very often…
Her – So?
Him – So what?
Her – When was the last time you went outside? Do you remember?
Him – Oh, me! Outside… I don’t know… It must have been… To take out the trash…
Her – The trash?
Him – Why not the trash?
Her – We’ve got a trash chute.
Him – Oh, yes… I thought so… This trash doesn’t fill up very fast. And where is the dog buried?
Her – In the garden.
Him – I had to go outside to bury the dog. The garden is outside… isn’t it?
Her – Well, no…
Him – Ah…
Her – You know what?
Him – What?
Her – It might sound strange, but… I’m not sure if I’ve ever really been outside… The dog used to pee on the lawn. Before we buried him underneath…
Him – Mmmm… Me neither… At least, I don’t remember. I would remember, wouldn’t I?
Her – Probably.
Him – Besides, what would we even do outside?
Her – We’re so peaceful here. (Doorbell rings) What’s that?
Him – The doorbell…
Her – I wonder what it could be…
Him – I’ll go check…
He leaves and comes back a moment later.
Her – So?
Him – It was the postman.
Her – Ah… What did he say?
Him – Nothing. He was already gone. But he left a letter.
Her – Postmen always do that. I don’t like letters. I’m always afraid it’s bad news. Is it bad news?
Him (looking at the letter) – It’s an announcement.
Her – About…?
Him – About a death.
Her – Ah… Whose?
Him – Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Her – Both of them?
Him – Apparently.
Her – Did we know them?
Him – It sounds familiar. (He takes out his wallet and pulls out an ID card) You’ll laugh at this… but Mr. Smith is me.
Her – So I’m Mrs. Smith?
Him – Probably.
Her – Are we married?
Him – Either way, we’re dead.
Her – We should write to them and let them know it’s a mistake.
Him – Yes.
Her – But for that, we’d have to go outside.
Him – I don’t know if I’ll have the courage.
Her – We’re so comfortable at home.
Him – Do you think it’s a mistake…?
She shrugs, as if to say she has no idea.
Black.
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A sketch from the collection Stories to die for
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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