A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Two characters enter. As they pass each other, they stop.
One – Well, I thought you were dead…
Two – But I am dead.
One – That’s what I thought! How long has it been?
Two – Nearly two years now.
One – Ah, yes… And what did you die of again?
Two – I died of boredom. I’d gone to the theatre to see a play by a contemporary writer. The usher found me slumped in my seat during the interval.
One – Was it really that boring?
Two – Bored to death. It was a play about migrants crossing the Channel on rafts to reach England.
One – Oh, that play… Yes, I remember… But it’s a great topic…
Two – Apparently, the writer spent three months in Calais to “soak up the atmosphere.” He wrote the play from the balcony of his five-star hotel with a sea view. Perhaps he didn’t quite capture the experience…
One – And… are you absolutely sure you’re dead?
Two – Certain… and if you can see me, it means you’re dead too.
One – Sorry. I’m the author of that play that did you in.
Two – Seems like it didn’t go well for you either.
One – Drowned. I should never have gone swimming right after eating. The meals are just so indulgent at these luxury hotels.
They exit.
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Stage Briefs
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net