Highway

A Sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez

He stands before her.
Him – How much?
Her – 30 euros…
Him – Super or regular?
Her – Does regular still exist? I thought there was only super now? (He doesn’t say anything.) Well, put in regular. For a change…
Him – Regular is more expensive.
Her – Oh, really?
Him – Regular has become very rare. It’s not everywhere…
Her – Well, put in super, then.
Him – Regular super or super plus?
Her – What’s the difference?
Him – Super plus is more expensive, but it consumes less.
Her – What do you recommend?
Him – Do you consume a lot?
Her – I don’t know. I always put in 30 euros…
Him – Take super plus.
Her – Alright, then… Fill it up. I wouldn’t want to run out of gas…
Him – Should I check the levels and the pressure?
Her – Is that free?
Him – It’s at the discretion of the customer.
Her – But… how much, if you don’t mind me asking?
Him – One euro, on average. Two for the more generous. Five for the benefactors of humanity. Would you like a loyalty card?
Her – What do we get?
Him – With five fill-ups, you’re entitled to a free car wash.
Her – Usually, I wash it myself…
Him – What’s this? Pigeon droppings…
Her – You think so?
Him – You need to clean that. It’s very corrosive.
Her – What can I do?
Him
– Get a loyalty card.
Her – I don’t come around here often. I’m on vacation…
Him – It’s valid everywhere.
Her – Maybe next time…
Him – There you go, that’s 95 euros.
Her – Here, keep the change. (She starts to walk away but reconsiders.) Excuse me, do you know where we are?
Him – Where are you headed?
Her – I don’t know yet.
Him – Anyway, you can’t make a U-turn.
Her – And is the next exit far?
Him – Oh, well…! It’s not right away, huh…!
Her – Well, I’ll keep going, then.
Him – Safe travels.
Her (as she leaves) – Thank you.
Him – Ah, women…
Black.


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A sketch from the collection Lost Times Chronicles
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)

Find all of Jean-Pierre Martinez’s plays on his website:
https://jeanpierremartinez.net

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