A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One character is sitting at a desk. Another character enters.
One – Hello, I’m here to authenticate a signature.
Two – Yes…
One – It’s a power of attorney for the sale of our country house.
Two – Very well.
One – We hardly go there anymore anyway and… Well, I won’t bore you with the details.
Two – No.
One – I won’t be able to attend the signing of the contract because… Anyway, I need to make a power of attorney, and the solicitor told me that the signature needs to be authenticated at the town hall.
Two – I see…
One – Here’s the document, and my ID card.
The other looks at the ID card.
Two – Mr. Smith.
One – That’s right.
Two – Okay… (He also glances at the power of attorney) John Smith.
One – Yes, you see, it’s the same name.
Two – Indeed…
One – So, shall I sign?
Two – If you’d like.
One – You are watching closely, right? Because I don’t have a duplicate. I don’t want to hear later : “Sorry, I wasn’t looking, could you do it again?”
Two – I’m watching.
The other signs the document.
One – There you go, I initial each page… and sign.
Two – Perfect… Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr… Smith?
One – Well… yes, actually!
Two – And what might that be?
One – The stamp! You also need to sign. And put the town hall stamp on it.
Two – Of course! What was I thinking? Now, where did I put that town hall stamp…
One – It’s right there, next to you.
Two – Oh yes, of course… Now, the ink pad… (He inks the stamp) There we go… I hope I used enough ink… You know how it is with stamps. Either there’s not enough ink and it’s illegible, or there’s too much and it smudges. Which do you prefer?
One – Which do I prefer?
Two – Do you prefer it to be illegible or to smudge?
One – If I really have to choose… I’d prefer it to smudge a bit.
Two – I’ll do my best… (He inks the stamp again and prepares to stamp the document with a concentrated look, but stops at the last moment.) But wait a minute…
One – What?
Two – After all… how do I know it’s really you?
One – Excuse me?
Two – I’m here to authenticate this signature, aren’t I?
One – Yes.
Two – What proves to me that the person in front of me is the same one mentioned in this power of attorney?
One – I just gave you my ID card…
Two – True… You’re right…
One – Okay.
The other gets ready to stamp the document.
Two – Hold on a minute…
One – What now?
Two – What proves to me that the person in front of me is really the one on this ID card?
One – Well, because… I’m the one who just handed it to you.
Two – You could have stolen it.
One – But the signature I just put on this power of attorney matches the one on my ID card.
Two – You could have forged that signature. Besides, between us, it doesn’t look that difficult to imitate.
The other starts to doubt.
One – You’re right… Actually, it proves nothing…
Two – Exactly.
One – But then… what can I do to prove to you that… I am indeed John Smith?
Two – Even that wouldn’t prove anything.
One – How do you mean?
Two – You could be a namesake.
One – A namesake?
Two – Admit it, there must be more than one John Smith out there. Unfortunately…
One – Of course…
Two – How do we know you’re the right one?
One – I’m even starting to doubt myself…
Two – So what do we do now?
One – Fingerprints?
Two – It’s possible for two people to have identical fingerprints.
One – You think so?
Two – It’s rare, but it’s possible.
One – What’s the probability?
Two – One in 64 billion.
One – There aren’t 64 billion people on this planet.
Two – On this planet, no, but if there were other people elsewhere, on other planets…
One – I see… So my power of attorney is ruined, then?
Two – You know what?
One – What?
Two – I like the look of your face.
One – Really.
Two – Yes… A good, honest face, like a proper John Smith.
One – And?
Two – I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt. (He stamps the document, signs it, and hands it to the other.) There you go, Mr. Smith!
One – Thank you for your trust! I don’t know how to thank you.
He takes the document and glances at it.
Two – Is there a problem?
One – Er… are you sure that’s the town hall stamp?
Two – Are you implying that I might… not be who I claim to be?
One – No, but…
Two – So now you’re the one doubting my identity?
One – You could have used the wrong stamp.
Two – The wrong stamp?
One – It’s not the town hall stamp.
Two – Let me see… (He takes the document and looks at it.) You’re right, it’s not the town hall stamp.
One – Are you sure you’re actually a town hall employee?
Two – Sure…? No. In fact… I’m actually quite sure I’m not.
One – You’re not a town hall employee?
Two – No.
One – But then… if I’m not who I claim to be, and you’re not either, who are we?
Two – To be or not to be, that is the question… But to answer it, I suggest you head across the street.
One – Across the street? Why’s that?
Two – Because that’s where the Town Hall Annex is.
One – And what’s this place, then?
Two – This is a driving school.
One – I see what you mean…
He hesitates to leave.
Two – Another problem, Mr. Smith?
One – I told you… (Pointing to the document) I didn’t have a duplicate…
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection For real and for fun
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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