A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
Two characters are facing each other.
One – So, it’s decided, you want to get rid of her?
Two – I don’t see any other way. I’ve tried everything, I promise you.
One – We’re talking about killing here. There’s no turning back. It’s final.
Two – I know.
One – Are you ready to live with that on your conscience for the rest of your life?
Two – I’ll take responsibility for it, but I can’t do it myself. Would you be willing to take care of it?
One – It won’t be free, of course.
Two – Of course.
One – When you don’t want to get your hands dirty, there’s a price to pay.
Two – How much?
One – I’ll give you a mate’s rate, don’t worry.
Two – OK. And how do you plan to do it?
One – Are you sure you want to know?
Two – I’d prefer it if she didn’t suffer.
One – I’ll set a trap for her.
Two – Well… If you think that’s the most effective way…
One – What were you thinking? A gun?
Two – I don’t know…
One – I have my principles too. With a gun, it would be a real crime. A trap is a sort of compromise between an accident and murder. Between unintentional suicide and careless homicide.
Two – But a trap still involves an intent to kill…
One – Yes, but it also requires the victim’s participation. If not their tacit approval, then at least their unwitting involvement.
Two – Really?
One – When you shoot someone with a revolver, you give them no chance. With a trap, the victim always has the opportunity to avoid it. The murderer goes halfway, and the victim goes the other half.
Two – Unknowingly.
One – At least unconsciously.
Two – So… what exactly is your trap?
The other character pulls a mousetrap out of his pocket and shows it to him.
One – This.
Two – A mousetrap?
One – A bigger one, obviously.
Two – And you’re going to build it yourself?
One – It’s not exactly sophisticated technology. As long as you get the proportions right.
Two – Right…
One – Of course, there’ll be some extra costs…
Two – And what are you going to use to bait her? Not cheese, I assume…
One – That depends… What kind of mouse is she?
Two – The luxury kind.
One – In that case, there’ll be a little extra for the bait as well.
Two – Fine… As long as you get rid of her for me.
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection For real and for fun
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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