A sketch by Jean-Pierre Martinez
One – Promise me you won’t panic…
Two – What?
One – I found a skull in the garden.
Two – A skull? You mean…
One – A human skull, yes.
Two – But how…?
One – I was digging a hole to plant those bamboos we bought at the market. And I came across a skull.
Two – That’s incredible… Are you sure it’s human?
One – There was a mobile phone right next to it.
Two – So it’s not ancient remains. I mean, it’s not a Neanderthal skull. Was it a recent model?
One – The skull?
Two – The phone!
One – Ah… Uh… I don’t know… It’s an iPhone. (Handing the phone) Here, take a look.
The other hesitates before taking the phone.
Two – You picked up the phone?
One – Would you have preferred I brought you the skull?
Two – I don’t know… It’s a crime scene, isn’t it?
One – A crime? You think so?
Two – How could someone end up buried in a garden with their phone if it’s not a crime?
One – Fair point.
Two – And more importantly, how could someone bury a body in our garden without us noticing?
One – We’ve only had the house for two years. It must date back to the previous owner.
Two – Maybe it’s his wife.
One – Why his wife?
Two – It can’t be him, since we saw him at the notary’s office.
One – It’s true we didn’t see his wife that day.
Two – But that doesn’t mean he buried her in the garden…
One – That doesn’t make sense. You don’t bury your wife in the garden and then sell the house. Sooner or later, someone would find out.
Two – Then what?
One – We’d need to date the body. What model of iPhone is it?
Two – There’s a bit of dirt on it, but… It’s the latest model.
One – No way…
Two – That means the body was buried very recently.
One – Damn…
Two – We should call the police.
One – Yeah, but we could get into trouble.
Two – Trouble…?
One – What if they think we did it?
Two – Now that we’ve found the skull, we can’t just act like nothing happened.
One – You think?
Two – Concealing a body. Failure to report a crime. That’s serious.
One – OK… We’ll call the police.
Two – Go ahead.
One – I don’t know what I did with my phone…
The phone found next to the skull starts ringing. They both freeze.
Two – This can’t be happening… It’s a nightmare.
One – Who could it be?
Two – Who knows…
One – The killer, maybe.
Two – What do we do?
One – Well, answer it…
Two – Hello…? Yes… Yes, I’ll put him on… Your mother.
One – Mum… Can I call you back…? OK…
Two – So it’s your phone.
One – It must have fallen out of my pocket when I bent down to look at the skull.
Two – Right. And are you still sure it’s a human skull?
One – Well… That’s what I thought when I saw the phone. But now I’m not so sure.
Two – Let’s go take another look.
One – OK.
Two – I vaguely remember the notary saying he had just buried his dog.
One – I didn’t think much of it at the time, but yeah, I remember now…
Two – He just forgot to mention he buried it in the garden.
One – Yeah.
Two – Still, there’s quite a difference between a dog skull and a human skull. It’s not the same size.
One – It must have been a big dog.
Two – Or maybe… it’s a child’s skull…
One – You think?
Two – The good news is you found your phone.
One – Yeah…
Blackout.
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A sketch from the collection Don’t panic!
Link to the collection for free download (PDF)
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